


With You All The Way

by Lyrishadow



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-18 13:31:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 47,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9387302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrishadow/pseuds/Lyrishadow
Summary: The story goes that Garrus fell for Shepard during events at the end of ME 2 - however, love is slow, especially being best friends and all that, love is a journey, so here is the journey





	1. At the Start

**Author's Note:**

> So if you don't play mass effect you might still enjoy the story. (for my SWTOR readers at least)  
> WARNING: This whole story is a massive spoiler, at this point though you should just be playing the game ;) til March when Andromeda is released.  
> Garrus and Shepard have a longer history than most. Took me a while to figure out the following:  
> Garrus' team died THE DAY Shepard shows up so we are talking hours and not weeks or days.  
> Garrus ALWAYS admired Shepard at least to varying degrees.  
> This story covers three different games.
> 
> Warnings are not really needed but Mass Effect is a violent game over-all, and even You Tube makes warnings on some of the videos  
> while I do not attempt to write fight scenes (have only once seen a gun...) they still happen, people still die so I guess its appropriate. Also main character death. It does happen, and graphically so in the game and comics.

They first met on the steps of the citadel tower as Commander Jo Shepard was on her way to see the council. Garrus Vakarian had heard stories of the human but he was not prepared for the storm that blew in when she went past. He had met turians that had such presence - usually Generals, and usually waaaay out of his social circles. Also, he never had felt like his breathe had been taken quite so fast, as she whirled past him and on to her meeting.

He had his own problems, trying to find evidence for his C-sec investigation into Saren Arterius. He had already read the report from Eden Prime, well the carefully edited one he was allowed to use - sometimes not having clearance seemed to be more trouble than due care, he doubted that the council was going to listen. Then he heard that one of the shadow broker’s agents had changed employer to Saren.

What interested Garus about this was Fists men had gone into the medical clinic to threaten Dr. Michelle, someone Garrus had gotten information from in the past. When he was near he saw Shephard heading in that direction. Sneaking in he took position behind the Doctor and her assailant. When Shepard walked through the door providing a distraction he took his shot, having dealt with the accomplices Shepard stood next to Garus.

“Good shot.” She commented approvingly.  
“I got lucky. Are you okay Dr. Michelle?”  
“I'm fine. Thank you for saving me.”  
“Why were those men threatening you?”  
“They work for Fist, he did not want me to tell Garrus about the quarian.”  
“The Quarian?”  
“She was injured, I sent her to Fist, she wanted to trade information. Fist works for the shadow broker.”  
“Not anymore.” Garrus responded “He works for Saren.”  
“He betrayed the Shadow broker? I didn't think even Fist was that stupid.” Dr Michelle said horrified.  
“Let's pay Fist a visit.” Shepard said

“Commander?” Garrus drew his courage from thin air, hoping she was not opposed to aliens. “I'd like to go with you, after Saren.”  
She paused and looked at him, as if trying to read him, then stuck out her hand.  
“Welcome aboard Garrus.”  
He nodded shaking the offered hand, Shepard had a firm grip, and readily made eye contact. _Strong handshakes tend to show integrity._ His father's words, burned into him from a young age echoed through. This was a strong woman, with deep integrity. _She is a survivor too,_ Garrus thought, considering the stories he had heard.

With the addition of a Krogan named Wrex, and the Quarian Tali to the crew, Shepard presented the evidence to the council. At this point, Garrus realised she really did not see aliens as, well alien. It seemed she treated everyone the same. Also, she had biotics something he hadn't expected, though he knew there were a few around the odds of two in the same crew were slim, so after meeting Kaidan Alenko he had assumed Shepard was not, that was corrected quickly.

In the end Saren had been declared a traitor, and Shephard had just spoken up and offered to go after him. They also discovered Saren had an Asari matriarch as an accomplice, Matriarch Benezia. Shepard stepped up offering them a solution they could agree with. They made her a Spectre. The first human Spectre, historically a very important role. It struck Garrus that his father wouldn't approve of him quitting C-sec to follow her, but it didn't matter, Garrus was sure Saren had met his match.

They had spoken a few times about how she worked and he had watched how she dealt with people. Always strong, but merciful, never picking on the weaker and not having much patience for those who exploit the weak or won't help. He had seen her clench her hand, controlling her temper, she always came off as balanced, and calm. During spaces between landings she made sure to talk to her crew. She talked to the Krogan, and what Garrus overheard made him respect both of them. She was respectful, but she pushed for the truth, didn't let someone off just because it was difficult to talk about things.

He wasn't sure when it happened but he found himself wondering if someone looked out for her. He knew from looking that Alenko had a thinly concealed crush on the Commander, and there was the Asari they had rescued from Therum, who was Matriarch Benezia’s daughter, and obsessed with Protheans, and also had a crush on the Commander. He decided a respectful friend was a better role for him to take, she had been around as an Alliance marine and he knew he could learn from her. There were rare times late at night he noticed Shepard would pace the cargo bay, and rest her head in her hands in the darkness, as if she had saved all her sadness and emotions for then. It left Garrus feeling helpless that he couldn't, and respectfully wouldn't, help her at these times.  

There was a case he still felt troubled over from C-sec a doctor who had been growing spare parts inside his employees, and harvesting them. He had fled the citadel, and Garrus had been unable to go after him. Red tape had tied him down, and the powers who could cut through had deemed it too much a risk. Now that doctor was still out there, and it sat badly with Garrus. He had told Shephard of the case, and she had offered to see if they could find him.  When they did, Garrus, Alenko and Shepard boarded the ship to look around. Inside one of the main rooms there were barely recognisable human like zombies.  
"Test subjects.” Garrus said grimly, making a shot and killing one instantly. Mercy, he thought to himself, whoever they were before all that was left was a shell. Moving further in, a locked door verified that the doctor was hiding from his test subjects.  
That's him.” Garrus said, feeling his anger at the criminal in front of him growing.  
“You are sure?” Shepard looked at him for confirmation. Garrus nodded, lifting his weapon ready.  
“Let's secure him for the courts.” She responded.  
“What?” If he had thought he had ideas about this woman's integrity, they were about to be confirmed.  
“We need to know what he was doing, and to whom, we won't know that if we kill him.”  
“You are one lucky Salarian.”  
“Gee, thanks.” The doctor sneered and drawing his gun dodged back behind something. Shepard threw a biotic assault at him and he died before Garrus could raise his weapon.  
  
“So he dies anyhow..” He looked at Shepard in confusion.  
“Yeah, sometimes happens that way.”  
“What's the point?”  
“You can't predict how people act Garrus, but you can control how you will respond, in the end, that's what really matters.” Shepard replied, looking straight into Garrus' eyes.  
“Yeah. I don't think I've ever met anyone like you Commander.” Garrus replied.

Garrus watched for glimpses of things that Shepard did outside of regulations and rules. He got more than a glimpse when her superior officer told her about scientists who were dying, who had all worked on Akuze. Akuze was where Shepard had been the only one out of fifty marines to survive an attack by thresher maw. They arrived at the place where the last scientist was standing, a Cerberus researcher. Shepard talked the man, Toombs, down, repeatedly apologising for not saving him. Garrus had no idea how deeply she carried her past.

The mission carried on, they chased Saren to Virmire. They made their way through the compound, it looked like Saren was researching indoctrination, and breeding Krogan for an army. It had taken a stand off with Wrex to make the idea of blowing up the facility fly, he had chosen to trust her judgement, much to the surprise of people who didn't know her. It was Garrus, Liara and Shepard who found the Protheans beacon, an intact, working beacon like that which had been found on Eden Prime. Shepard didn't hesitate and stepped towards it, allowing the un-damaged beacon to add the content to her mind. She stepped back from it and glanced around. That was when Sovereign opted to speak to them, the hologram it projected was red, and really not happy. Revealing that the ship was in fact a Reaper, a vanguard of the coming invasion. It reminded them that even when this was over, it was not over.  
Garrus watched as Shepard was forced to choose between two of her crew. He was horrified at the thought, knowing he would hate to have to decide things like that. The entire group had grown close over time, and he knew the Commander did not view any of her team as expendable.

In the end it was Ashley Williams who paid the price, Garrus could see how much pain it had caused too, but Shepard kept going. She had no choice, and it only got worse from there. She spent time convincing Alenko it was not his fault, that it was Saren’s. However she paced the cargo hold a lot more than usual, and Garrus could tell that, no matter what she told other people, she felt it was her fault.

The council called them back, and the ambassador forced them to stay there, grounding the ship. The fact was unless they got to Saren the fight with the Reapers was about to get way too close, and wipe out the galaxy they knew.

Captain Anderson, the one who had been in charge of the ship before Shepard, and he knew the stakes for the fight against Saren. He offered to help them get the Normandy away from lockdown.  
It took Garrus five seconds to decide he was going with her, he never really considered leaving the ship. It didn't matter to him that they were essentially stealing it. He had spoken to Joker, the pilot, and he knew that he was as determined to get Saren as the rest of them.

“You didn't see her after Eden Prime, when the others bought her back. She was so pale.” Joker had said over breakfast “Seriously, the Commander is not the kind to lie so when she says giant robots are going to kill us, I'm of the mind to believe her and do whatever the hell she suggests to prevent it.”  
Garrus had heard pretty much the same from everyone - and from what he knew of her - that the Commander was disinclined to invent stories, had been reluctant to present her ‘vision’ as evidence to the council.

So they went to Ilos.

Ilos was nowhere in normal space, the only way to get to it was using the Mu relay. A lost relay which basically had been knocked out of position a long time ago and was in the Terminus systems. In short, it was not the kind of place anyone from the Alliance or Citadel fleet could rock up to without causing problems. They had the relay co-ordinates, from Matriarch Benezia; and they had the stealth drives of the Normandy. So to Ilos they went, chasing Saren.

Garrus had been on Turian ships during high risk missions, but this one was decided and over so fast he was amazed they had even been there in the first place. Shepard took Garus and Alenko down to Ilos.

“You should really take Liara..” Garrus had murmured to the Commander.  
“Can't afford the distraction, I made a deal that I’d give her the data on how to get here, but she needs to stay on the Normandy.”  
“That seems wise.” Garrus had agreed.

Ilos was an empty planet, it seemed almost haunted. Garrus felt a little strange seeing statues around them as they were dropped in the Mako. The short distance they had to drop and stop was, to Joker’s credit, painless. Yet they had seen Saren head down into a bunker and close the door.  
“We have to go after him…” Shepard took aim at a geth that was suddenly in their path “there must be a way to open the door.”  
They fought through geth, jumped over two walls and found the entrance to an underground control facility. It was still strange to Garrus, to be inside a ruin like this, but there was little time to admire it or look around - it was a race against Saren.

“Here… wait there is something else here.” Alenko called from a small room at the top of a ramp. A message, or a VI, Garrus couldn’t tell which, was speaking in a strange language.  
“It’s a warning…” Shepard frowned at it “broken up a bit but I can understand some of it..”  
“Must be that cipher you got on Feros helping you to understand.” Garrus looked at her and then back at the VI. “still we need to go after Saren.”  
“Yeah, let’s go.”

“Who votes we take the mako into the scary dark tunnel underground?” Alenko quipped as they came back to their vehicle.  
“The firepower will come in handy, I am sure Saren would have set up a trap or two for us.” Garrus replied.  
In the end it was not Saren who stopped them half way.  
“What the…?”  
“Saren must have set up a trap!”  
“No.” the Commander spoke her usual calm “ I don't think this is Saren, come on.”  
They took the only door not blocked by a field and headed down to another lift.  
“Hopefully whatever is at the bottom of this does not want to kill us, we could use more friends and less foes.”

They met Vigil a Prothean VI at the bottom of a lift, and a long ramp. Garrus had half a mind to turn around until it gave them a greeting, and introduced itself.  
“Liara would love this..” Garrus stated to Alenko as the Commander took charge.  
“Why did you bring us here?”  
“You are not machine, nor indoctrinated like the other, “ the VI noted “ there is hope you might stop the other.”  
“The other… Saren?” Garrus asked.  
“The other one intends to reach the conduit and use it to get control of the the citadel.”  
“What is the conduit?  
“The conduit leads to the citadel.” The VI flickered some, as it told the story of Ilos and the Protheans who had built a way into the citadel, then caused the keepers to ignore a signal that was sent. Forcing the situation that they now faced.  
“Take the data from the console and follow the other to the citadel master control centre.”  
“The citadel has a master control switch?”  
“The other will lead the way.”  
“Let's go, Saren has enough of a head start.”  
They returned to the mako and continued on. The conduit glowed down the bottom of the final hill.  
“Wow, it's amazing!” Alenko gaped in amazement.

“No time for sightseeing. I'm guessing the geth are not going to make this easy.” Garrus replied. The mako was not the gentlest of vehicles anyhow, he grimaced as Shepard slammed her foot on the accelerator, passing straight through the wall of weapon fire the geth were laying down. Suddenly they were collected by the mass effect field and lifted them off, and then they arrived at the citadel.  
“That was… Different.”  
Geth were everywhere, as well as a handful of Krogan. They had to fight their way through the citadel and up to the tower.  
Saren was there before them, he threw a grenade and they scattered.  
“You are too late..” Saren yelled as he hovered above them.  
“It's not too late.” Shepard was trying to talk him down? At this point, Garrus supposed it was really no surprise, she was assessing the situation, and they knew that Saren had been indoctrinated. Garrus tried to get a line of sight just in case he needed it.  
“You still don't understand.” Saren snarled “ I've been improved since our last meeting.”  
“You let the reaper give you implants?”  
If Garrus saw Sarens reaction coming he might have moved back faster. Saren lifted his gun to his own head, looked at the commander, and fired.  
As blue turian blood spattered around the area, Garrus took a step back. It seemed too abstract an ending to be done.

“Opening a line of communication.” Shepard said.  
The rest was a blur, the human fleet saved the Destiny Ascension, an Asari ship which had the council on board. It surprised Garrus, given options he would have saved his people first. Commander Shepard was remarkable in many ways, Garrus noted to himself.  
Then Sovereign took direct control of Saren and they had a fight on their hands. While they dealt with Saren the Alliance fleet took down Sovereign. When Sovereign lost control of Saren the shields around the giant ship dropped allowing the fleet to tear it down.  
Move!” Shepard yelled as debris from the ship came flying towards where they were.  
It took more time for their rescuers to arrive, Alenko was as dazed as Garrus and they had not seen Shepard since she yelled for them to get clear. As Captain Anderson helped them to their feet, Garrus saw the familiar red head of Commander Shepard as she climbed the metal arm of Sovereign and grinned at the two of them.

They had minor injuries which were easily treated, it was an eventful end to a long journey. Of course it really was not the end, it seemed too hopeful that they would have stopped the Reapers from coming permanently. Still the powers that be had no desire to focus on that. Human’s got a council seat for their efforts, but Shepard’s warnings of a bigger threat got ignored.


	2. Without

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A galaxy without Shepard was going to be tough, until she came back of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a speculation that Shepard had open coms when she died, but the only person I can figure who would have heard her would have been Joker.  
> Mass Effect 2 threw me at the very start - I was just starting to get attached to the Normandy, and to the crew and they blew it up!  
> Still makes for a good story.

The council sent them after geth. It made no sense to Garrus, actually it seemed like a waste of talent. It also seemed it was to keep Shepard and the crew from telling anyone about the real threat - as if to downplay the danger. It was entirely too embroiled in red tape and politics for Garrus’ taste.

Then out in the Terminus systems, as they were investigating missing ships - for as Joker said ships don’t just disappear for no reason - they were attacked.  
The Normandy was in stealth systems, which meant that unless seen visually they were not going to show up to an enemy. However this one, an unknown cruiser pushed to engage them as soon as it could.

It did not end well. The alarm sounded for evacuation, Garrus chased a few of the crew to an escape pod and then threw himself in one as well - Tali, and Liara were together in one, Wrex had left the Normandy to go back to the Krogan home world, to try and start the Krogan on a new path for the future. Trying to make sure they even had a future.

When the escape pods were picked up, Joker gravitated towards where Garrus and Kaidan Alenko stood apart a little from the crew. Garrus could tell the man had been through an ordeal, more than the others had experienced in the fight and aftermath.  
“Did you see Shepard?” Alenko asked as Joker came over “Last I saw she was going to go and help you.”  
“I…” Joker stammered pale. Garrus had never known Joker to be speechless, let alone so pale and frail looking.  
“Joker? Have a seat, need anything?” Garrus asked concerned, Joker held up his hand.  
“No, this isn't going to be easier if you don’t know… I’m sorry… she… they…” Joker sat down, his hands now shaking with suppressed emotion, and too much adrenaline in his system.  
“She wasn't with you?”  
Joker shook his head.  
“She got me to a pod, but the enemy ship came back around and hit hard. “ Joker stared at his offending hands “She saved my life but..”  
“She didn't make it?” Now Alenko turned pale, Garrus assumed had he been human his skin shade would have been similar as the reality set in. A galaxy without Shepard. That is going to be a hard place.  
“She.. I” Joker stammered again, there was more to the story Garrus knew.  
“Her coms was open?” Garrus asked realising suddenly why Joker was so affected. Joker nodded, he had heard her gasp for air, her frantic attempts to survive.  
“Shepard is gone, the Normandy is gone….” Joker looked up at the others a slight desperation on his face “what do we do now?”

The question echoed in Garrus’ mind for months. He tried to return to C-sec but everything was in disarray since the attack and he couldn’t find his place there. One night he sat in a bar trying to evaluate his possibilities. He could go home, try to do something there or he could head to the place where every trouble seemed to have originated. Somewhere far from… he had looked around, everywhere, too many reminders of Shepard, of life before Shepard and now of how he was wasting his time with bureaucracy instead of solving the real problems.  
Like chasing geth with Reapers knocking on our door. He had thought to himself, at least leaving the Citadel seemed the best plan he could come up with - too many memories, too much not completed, and way too much red tape and politics.  
Omega was a lawless place, home to many, mostly criminals. Garrus settled himself in and did what he did best - find the criminals, and deal with them only this time there wasn’t all the red tape and rules to control what he did.  
He gained a reputation and others joined him, he gained a nickname too. Archangel it suited him, to be hidden behind a name, almost as good as being a secret agent. In the end there was a team of twelve - Garrus, Sidonis and ten others. They worked well for a while, until Sidonis betrayed them all; luring Garrus away, and allowing the mercenaries to gain entrance to their base. All but two of his squad and Sidonis had died before Garrus could get back, and the two that were left soon perished in the same way. There was nothing Garrus could do; he had been betrayed, and his men deserved… he convinced himself they deserved the death of the one who had betrayed them. That there could be no other way through it. He somewhere along the way convinced himself that he too should die. He didn’t exactly give up, but he took a bit of pride in the fact that the mercenary groups on Omega who hated each other, had joined together to kill him; and he was going to take as many with him as he could.

That was until she turned up in his scope.  
At first he had caught a glimpse of red hair, and an N7 logo. The N7 rank was special, not just anyone could wear it on their armour; it was only earned by a few, and Shepard had earned that, and they were their top special forces people. It had to be her or someone who knew her. Or someone pretending to be her? But who knew who he was, and his connection to the dead spectre? Or a ghost.. maybe a ghost coming to take him too.

The next time he saw her it was her coming over the wall with other mercs, she couldn’t see him, he knew, as she squinted up - aside from having his helmet on there was a way the light played on the bridge that made it hard to see that way. It was definitely her, he had seen her enough, watched enough to know how she walked and moved, know how she fought. The glow of her biotics flaring into action confused him - was she attacking him?  
No, she was taking down the mercs she had followed into the base, clearing the entire area.  
When the sound of the omni tool, was silent from near the door to the room he was in, he unlocked it.  
“Archangel?” she asked entering the room, clearly not expecting him.  
He held up his hand, there was one more merc just behind a pillar, and he fired a perfect shot; turning to lift his helmet off as he faced her.

“Garrus?”Jo was stunned, here was one of her own people. “What are you doing here?”  
“Shepard… I thought you were dead..” Garrus looked at the woman, she had scar lines on her face, a pinched stressed look to her eyes, and he knew something big was going on. Not that he was doing any better.  
“What are you doing out here on Omega? How’d you get all the mercenaries in the Terminus systems gunning for you?”  
“Heh,” Garrus smiled a little, the first time in a long day, “Wasn’t easy, had to really work at it.”  
“Well we got here, don’t think getting out will be as easy.” Shepard said gesturing towards the outside of the place.  
“Yeah, they will know their infiltration team didn’t make it by now.” Garrus lifted his rifle “let's see what they are doing. Hmm, Eclipse scouts maybe, take a look.”  
Handing her the rifle he saw the familiar twitch of her hand as she resisted the urge to fire straight away - it was definitely her.  
“More than scouts.” She rubbed her hands together “ I hated sneaking anyhow, time to spill a little merc blood.”  
“Good to see you haven't changed. I've got a good vantage here, you do what you do best. Just like old times Shepard.”  
Well just like old times except he had let himself be backed into this corner, suicide by merc had seemed warranted.  
Yet if Shepard was here, there was hope still. Garrus felt tired, it had been a long two years.

Just missing Liara and Alenko, the two people with Shepard were strangers to him. Garrus knew of Mordin of course, but had not met him, the other was a human, dark skin, biotics, and… Cerberus markings on his clothes. Cerberus must be who Shepard was with, of all the organisations that was not the one he expected.  
They fought. Shepard left Mordin to help Garrus while she sealed off the basement but it seemed the fight was going their way until the gun ship came into play. Dropping troops in at ground level seemed to make it so Garrus was vulnerable. Finally, he felt one good crack to his jaw and tasted blood before he blacked out. He came to briefly hearing, feeling Shepard near him. It felt strange to enjoy the contact when his life was ebbing away but it was Shepard calling his name that made him fight harder to hold on.  
“Garrus!” She had her hand on his waist and was trying to help him. “We will get you out of here just hold on.”

“Hello Garrus.” Another familiar voice cut into his rest “ Easy now, you took quite a hit.” Dr. Chakwas was standing next to the bed in the med bay as she helped him to sit up.  
“It's okay doc, I'm pretty resilient.” He tried to feel the spot they had worked on.  
“It's going to take some time to heal.” He nodded removing his hand from his face  
“ So how bad does it look?”  
“Sorry Garrus I don't have a mirror.” He shrugged and slowly got up, so far so good.  
“Any idea where Shepard is?”  
“Commander Shepard is in the debriefing room on the combat deck, Mr Vakarian.” A voice replied, Garrus struggled to place it, looking at the doctor he said “ an AI?”  
Dr Chakwas nodded amused at the expression on Garrus face.  
“Joker will hate that.”

He took the elevator to the combat deck, following the directions to the debriefing room he stood briefly at the door. He could hear Jacob - that was the Cerberus operative, and Shepard muffled by the door.  
“Tough son of a bitch,” Jacob said as he entered “ I didn't expect you to be up yet.”  
“How bad is it? No one will give me a mirror.” Garrus could see the relief on her face, she had genuinely thought he might die from the wounds.  
“Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly, slap some face paint on it and no-one will know.” She said it with a grin.  
That made Garrus laugh.  
“Agh, don't make me laugh, my face is barely holding together as it is.” He took a breath before adding “ Some women find facial scars attractive… Granted most of those women are Krogan.”  
Shepard smiled at that.  
Jacob nodded to them both and left the room.  
“Actually Shepard, I'm more concerned about you, Cerberus? Shepard? You remember the grotesque experiments they were doing.”  
“I know, it's why I'm glad you are here Garrus, if I'm walking into hell I need someone I can trust at my side.”  
“You realise this plan has me walking into hell too? Heh, Just like old times Shepard. I'm ready if you need me, I will go have a look at the forward battery.” Garrus nodded and left the room.

It took him a few hours to settle down, he had escaped death again, gotten to be in Shepard’s orbit again, it felt almost like cheating. She said she trusts you. He remembered in awe, but then she didn't know what had happened, maybe she wouldn't feel so happy to have him if she knew.  
He had to tell her.  
It was simply going to hang over him if he didn't.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we make or break Garrus in how he deals with his idea for revenge. Will he do it? Will it change things?  
> and Kaidan? well... we all knew that was not going to go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omnitool has a short range communication thing? Sure why not, it does everything else. Plus it would explain why Kaidan didn't send a message to her privately - instead a letter about Horizon came through her Cerberus inspected mail box; it is no wonder she had no way to reply. I think she might have written something, probably kept a journal but she would have kept that off the systems.

“Garrus, got time to talk?”  
It was late and he was really just staring into space.  
“Sure. You know in our fight against Saren, I thought I had seen every kind of weapon, my fight with the mercenaries told me otherwise.” He gestured to the battery behind him “Then Cerberus rebuilds the Normandy with a few upgrades. Should have joined with them sooner.”  
Garrus saw a fierce kind of anger flash in Shepard's eyes.  
“We are not with Cerberus, they are funding this mission that is all.”  
“Relax Shepard, it's just a figure of speech.” He looked down “ I can't exactly doubt your judgement when I got my entire squad killed.”  
“What happened?” Shepard had that caring look he had glimpsed occasionally. He did not feel he deserved it.  
“A friend of mine, someone I thought I trusted, betrayed me. He led me away from our base leaving the others vulnerable.” Garrus took a deep breath “ when I returned all but two  of my men were dead, it didn't take long for them to join the others.” His anger boiled.  
“I'm sorry Garrus.” She said softly looking at him.  
“One day, I will find Sidonis and he will join the others.” Garrus avoided her eyes, staring at the ground his thoughts were a long way off the old Garrus or even what he had ever estimated Shepard to think and part of him was ashamed. “ Ah, thanks for coming by Shepard.”He turned and retreated.

Then they went to Horizon. They pushed the collectors away but still lost ⅓ of the colony. Jo was not feeling it as a victory, she felt they were too late. She had done more than most certainly more than the Alliance leaders had done. Then Kaidan was there, Alenko was angry, he had spent two years believing she was dead and Garrus knew that Kaidan had been in love with her. He had not known that feeling had been reciprocated until Kaidan stopped in front of Shepard and hugged her. Breathing deeply like a man in a dream desperate to remember the smell. He all but pushed away.“You’re with Cerberus? And Garrus too?”  
“I work with them, trying to stop…”  
“You betrayed everything we stand, stood for - how could you…” Kaidan was angry, he remembered what Cerberus had done, even if he believed she did not.  
“I am going back to the Alliance, tell them what I have found, see if they believe your story.”  
Shepard’s voice was low as she replied, Garrus almost didn’t hear her say anything. “So long Kaidan.”  
Kaidan turned to look back at her “Goodbye Shepard, and be careful.”

They returned to the Normandy in silence. Shepard disappeared almost immediately and refused to talk to anyone for an hour, until the Illusive Man insisted on a debrief, she stormed out of the room after talking with him and went upstairs to the loft.

Garrus sent her a message: _Are you ok?  
_ His message started an exchange of notes sent directly between Omni tools. Something Cerberus couldn't control but the trick only worked in short range.  
_Garrus, I feel like I failed you. failed everyone on the Normandy. I am sorry. JS.  
_ Garrus had stared at the message for an hour before replying.  
_Jo, You couldn't fail me. G.  
__Garrus… I should have fought harder to get to the pod, to stay alive.. JS  
_ It was then he remembered the aftermath, the frantic search of wreckage, the desperately hollow look on Alenko’s face. Turians always assumed the worst, but humans tended to hope for the best.  
_Jo, you really think it was your fault? We all signed on. G.  
_ Garrus stared at the words he had just written, to some extent they were true for him too, his men had signed on. He pushed down his anger, frustration mixed with a healthy dose of self loathing.  
_Garrus, I know. I can't time travel but after Kaidan, after everything he said.. I'm wondering if it's true. If I am a traitor…. This damn ship needs a bar. J._  
Garrus couldn't help but chuckle, she was right, they needed a bar. A stiff drink cured many things. He ran his hand along his uninjured mandible, maybe a drink would help him too; but he needed to deal with Sidonis.

A beep on his omnitool told Garrus that one of his searches had born fruit, he had a lead on Sidonis. He felt relief mixed with dread, planning to kill someone who had been a friend did not sit entirely right with him, but his men deserved… Something.  Shepard was outside his door pacing, as if she had half decided to talk to him and then turned to walk away.  
“Shepard.” Even to Garrus that sounded strained. “I have something I might need help with…”  
“You found him?”  
“Close, I found someone who might know where he is, named Fade on the citadel.”  
“We will go as soon as we can.” She responded.


	4. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the citadel in ME 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of the conversation may feel the same, I don't know Im typing most of it from memory. So apologies for the ad lib and possibly incorrect use of the stories conversation.
> 
> Also... to do with Alenko.  
> If you do Horizon before the Citadel, then why cant we harass Anderson about him? We should be able to leave a message - you know maybe get him told something useful. Otherwise what good is it to have that connection? Anyhow just felt like a wasted moment in my game. So i fixed it here. 
> 
> Plus... having romanced him in 1 (Im sorry, he smiled okay?) it is very difficult to ditch him... there ought to be a point where we can tell him it's over... so I borrowed Anderson for that too, maybe if you start telling him in two he wont accuse you of cheating? who knows.  
> PS sorry about the formatting, need to find my special fix file for it and edit the chapters so they are all formatted correctly.

“Are you sure about this?”she asked again as they headed to the security clearance on the citadel, Thane, a Drell and also a crew member was walking just behind them at a discreet distance. Entering with Shepard was going to be a lot easier than trying to get past security on their own - both Thane and Garrus had outstanding issues with citadel security; enough that it would alert the power that be that both of them had arrived.  
“Lets just see what we find” Garrus regretted the harsh tone in his voice, Shepard did not deserve that.  
Alarms rang.  
“Guess they upgraded security..” Garrus frowned.  
“Ah, ma’am there seems to be an error.” the turian on duty was looking over his monitor “our data keeps coming back with false information.”  
“Oh?”  
“It is saying you are dead ma’am.” he sounded stressed  
“Oh, i was only mostly dead” Shepard deadpanned “Try finding that on government paperwork.”  
The turian had no sense of humour he pushed a few buttons hopefully.  
“Sorry ma’am but you will need to speak to my Captain to get this figured out.” he paused exhaled like this was more stress than his job ought to entail “he's right over there as you go in.”

“Oh I see the problem.” the Captain stated as she walked up “The system says you are dead.”  
“I was. It’s complicated.” Shepard shrugged.  
“I can fix it…” Captain Bailey paused as Shepard stretched her hands weighing the options.  
“Better leave it the way it is, my current job might need me to be a bit more incognito.”  
“Not a problem, there you won’t cause any problems for the scanners, and you’re the hero of the citadel not like you will be smuggling in illegal goods. Might want to go up to the Presidium though, the council might like to know one of their dead spectres is alive.”

“Bailey…” Garrus was muttering to himself trying to place the human from his own c-sec days.  
“Garrus?” Bailey looked up surprised “Thought you left?”  
“Well, I did and… “ Garrus gestured at Shepard.  
“Oh of course, I should have figured you would be with Shepard. I remember having drinks with you back … what two years ago?”  
“Something like that, look Bailey im looking for a guy he's a criminal here on the citadel known as Fade,” Garrus frowned a little, well as much as a turian could, he realised he had been mimicking the humans for a while now where facial expressions were concerned.  
“Oh. Yeah network division has been after his hide for a while now, but I can’t help you with where he is - he would be in a cell if I knew.” Bailey paused and punched something up on his computer “He has contacts in the warehouse; they might be more help. If you do find him, let me know, we would like to have… words… with him.”  
  
As they walked to the transport hub, Garrus nodded when Shepard asked to go to the Presidium first. She had to meet with Anderson, and the councillors.  
“You are working with a known terrorist organisation.” The Asari councillor pointed out “What are we supposed to think of that?”  
_She had no choice._ Garrus kept his mouth shut though.  
“That isn't fair.” Anderson stood up for her “Shepard is a hero you know that.”  
“Fine.” the turian councillor interjected, “what do you want from us?”  
“I need help, colonies are going missing; the Collectors are taking people - and the Collectors are working for the reapers.”  
“Ah yes… the Reapers” the turian used his fingers to make quote marks. It was all Garrus could do not to groan and bury his head in his hands. That action, the disbelief, the in-action really, was going to end up with a lot of people getting killed. It stirred his anger and he did his best to keep his mouth shut. His mandibles expressing his anger in a way only the turian councillor would know if he bothered to look at him.  
“We can make a small offering.” the Asari seemed to be the one chosen to speak for them all as the turian and salarian councillors nodded. “We can reinstate your spectre status.”  
“Provided “the turian actually glanced at Garrus coughed and continued “that you stay in the Terminus systems.”  
“I can work with that.” Shepard nodded, Garrus understood she needed the authority if not the actual power of a spectre. It still made him angry the way she was treated. _She was worth more to them than geth chasing_ he reminded himself _still that's what they did to silence her, the further away she was the better in their view._  
“Then we will wish you good luck on your investigation Commander.” The Asari nodded and the com link to the council was ended.  
  
“Well, that was interesting.” Shepard said exhaling.  
“Anderson!” Udina, the human council member stormed into the room, glanced at Thane and Garrus and then gaped at Shepard.”Shepard…”  
“Not used to seeing ghosts Udina?”Shepard replied coldly.  
“I had heard you were alive, of course, but I did not expect you to return to the citadel.”  
“I invited her to speak with the council, we just finished our meeting.”  
“You went over my head… and..”  
“Relax, it went well.”Shepard angled her head on the side “they reinstated my Spectre status provided I stay in the Terminus systems for my work.”“I see how that would work out..” Udina was clearly floored at the idea Shepard had been reasonable and calm. “But i will be seeing about having your job terminated Anderson..”  
“Anderson made a good thing of a very touchy situation.” Shepard continued calmly though Garrus had noted the clenched hand at her side. Udina always made him angry so he was not surprised at her controlled anger. “You can say you knew.. Or..”  
“I suppose.” Udina scowled “But never again.. Understand?…” and he stormed from the room the same way he had entered.  
“He's a pompous ass. As bad as he is though, I would not like to have that job.” Anderson shook his head.  
“You haven't forgotten who you were to get here.”she nodded at him “It's good to see you, we have some things to do - I should go.”

“Shepard?” Anderson turned halfway towards her “Be careful, Cerberus are not allies - i know what you are doing is important, I will try and keep the rest of them off your case, but…”  
“I know.” She nodded towards Thane and Garrus “They being with me, should tell you how much I trust Cerberus - Garrus you remember Anderson and Thane here is definitely not on Cerberus’ favourite list.”  
“Look after her Garrus.” Anderson nodded to the turian, “She needs...we need her.”  
Garrus nodded looking at Anderson with an unreadable expression.  
“One thing “Shepard turned back towards Anderson “why was Kaidan on Horizon?”  
“We suspected Cerberus…” Anderson looked at his hands “was behind the abductions, maybe even working with the collectors.”  
“Some of them might be.” Shepard admitted.  
“But not you.” Anderson said quietly “We didn't expect you. I heard you were alive, rumours, stories, that kind of thing but…Nothing definitive. So what happened?”“I will send you a report. As soon as I can.” Shepard nodded to him again, some secret code passing between old friends. “Please tell Kaidan I'm not the enemy.” she hesitated before adding “but anything he and I had.. It's done.”

Anderson nodded again.  
“We will see you again Shepard.:”  
“If I survive this round of the fight.” she responded seriously “The omega 4 relay is no joke.”  
“That’s where you are going?”  
“It will be in my report. Usual channel?” He nodded, turning back to look out over the Presidium lake. “Be careful Shepard, and come back alive.”

They headed to the warehouse next, not stopping to talk about the meeting, Garrus noted Thane was not even curious, he supposed the training he received from the Hanar had included how to be discrete.  
“Here this is the place.” Garrus pointed to the sign, and led the way into the warehouse. A volus was standing at the far end of the room, he saw them enter and pushed his way towards them.  
“Fade?” Garrus asked, though he already knew the Volus was just an agent.  
“Who wants to disappear?” The volus asked  
“Actually, we want to make someone reappear.” Garrus knelt down to the volus’ height.  
“We don't…” the volus stuttered “ah we don't…” he turned to the krogan standing behind him “come on you lot kill them!”  
“You might want to reconsider…” Shepard said in a tone that could have cut through the heavy armour that they wore as a weapon on it’s own. It was the Commander tone that she used and it almost made Garrus laugh even in the midst of his own stress and discomfort.  
The krogan looked at each other and shrugged moving away.

“You can't even pay for good protection anymore.” the volus muttered. “I'm not fade..”  
“I knew it.” Shepard responded “Do you know where we can find him?”  
“He’ll be down in the docks, with the Blue Suns…” the volus replied nervously “Harkin is gonna love this..”  
“Harkin?” Shepard said surprised at the name “He’s finally gone to become a real criminal now? “  
“Yes and he has some deal with the Blue Sons for protection.”the volus paused “can i go now?”  
“Sure. But if Harkin isn't there we will be back…”  
“Oh. Good.”

They left the warehouse and headed for the docks. Garrus felt his anger and nerves growing as they drew closer to the first target.  
“I never could stand Harkin, he was always a menace.”  
“He propositioned me when I went to find you… “ Shepard replied “I'd hate to be the girl who fell for his crap.”  
They arrived at the docking area to see Harkin and two Blue Suns moving crates near the entrance.  
“There he is.” Shepard said pointing, Harkin had not changed much over the years.  
“Garrus?” the former c-sec officer stared at the turian as he lifted his gun from his back.  
“Shepard? But you were … dead…” He glanced at the two near him and said “Well what are you waiting for? Kill them!”  
A sure sign of a criminal, someone with something to hide was the speed with which Harkin managed to leave the scene after recognising them.  
They fought through mechs and Blue Sun mercs before coming to an area locked off from the rest.  
“What is Harkin up to?” Garrus said, his tone making it clear he was sick of the games and wanted this to be over.  
“Garrus… are you okay?” Shepard turned her attention to her friend, Thane stood guard on the door as they rifled through the desk and files in the room.  
“No. If he knows why I am here, he could tip Sidonis off…” his anger made her flinch slightly, she tried to hide it but he had seen it, and it made him feel even more miserable.  
“We will get him. Let’s keep moving.” Shepard offered hoping facing Harkin and then dealing with Sidonis would get Garrus back to being himself.

They headed out into the warehouse where Harkin was hiding.  
“Oh great, heavy mechs!” Garrus said in warning as they slid behind a pile of crates. Two of them were using sniper rifles so distance was more an advantage than a disadvantage; and biotics did not depend on distance either.. The mechs went down as Shepard flung a few more biotic attacks towards them.  
“Right… let's go get Harkin.” By this point even Thane was happy to chase the guy and prevent his escape. Shepard was always glad to bring Thane and Garrus with her to these things - the two men were skilled in combat and while both might use the sniper rifle, they all had skills in different areas of combat as well.  
They took down some more mechs, and finally they stood outside the door.  
“I will circle around.” Garrus said quietly “He might try to run.”  
“I’m sure he will.” Shepard replied her pistol at the ready. “Signal when you are ready.”  
A few minutes later a signal on her omnitool told Shepard that Garrus was in position.

“Too late Shepard!” Harkin said backing towards the door, which opened and Garrus was there. “Damn it.”  
Garrus pushed him in against a wall.  
“Hello Harkin, couldn't make yourself disappear huh?" Garrus ground out between his teeth.  
“What do you want Garrus?”  
“I’m looking for someone.”  
“I might need a little more information…”  
“Sidonis. The name you need is Sidonis, he's a turian…”  
“I know who he is..”  
“Then…?”  
“I can’t tell you that it’s not good for business…”  
“You know what else isn't good for business..."  Garrus managed to knock the knees out from under Harkin and placed his foot on top of Harkin’s neck applying significant amounts of pressure. “a broken neck..” Shepard had to pull him off, it was as if he was in a blood haze, of some kind, like a krogan sometimes gets. Garrus shook himself a little to clear his head, while he understood - Harkin was useless to him dead he was still angry.

“Alright… I will arrange a meeting”  
Harkin did so, and returned to where they were staying.  
“There all good, he will meet you in front of the lounge at midday.” Harkin sighed “Can you go now?”  
“No, I don't think so, you are a criminal now Harkin…”  
“Terminus systems really changed you huh Garrus…”  
“No, but Sidonis..” He gestured to Harkin   
“You can't kill me…” Harkin stared at Garrus  
“Kill you, no… I can slow you down though…”  
“Garrus.” Shepard said her tone warning him “He can’t hide from C-sec now let them deal with him.:”  
“Fine.” he holstered his pistol and Shepard turned away towards the door. He slammed the hard part of his forehead against Harkin and watched contented as he slid to the floor.  
“I didn't shoot him…”  
“Come on let's get going.” he could hear the exasperation in her tone.

In the car she again took the time to talk to him.  
“Are you really sure about this?”  
“No… but there really isn't another way..”  
“Let me talk to him.”  
Garrus looked at her, trying to understand why she saw the need to stand in his mess with him, it was his mess, his men, and his mission to bring them justice. All he needed was a clear shot.  
“Talk all you want, it won’t change what he's done…  
“Garrus…”  
“I'm not you Shepard, I can’t fix things that way.”  
“This isn't like you either Garrus.” she tried a different tact, and he knew it was not like him, the him he had been before she died.  
“Yeah it is.” He shifted checking his rifle. “Look, get him talking then move so I can shoot.”  
“Alright. “ she sighed. She would help him no matter what, and that did something to his heart that he wasn't prepared to admit just yet.  
She stood in his sites. Damn woman was actually going to try and talk to Sidonis. Garrus sighed as she opened her com and let him listen.  
“I know what I did.” Sidonis was saying “but i had no choice, they were going to kill me…”  
“He’s a coward Shepard, move so I can end this.”  
“That’s all, you just wanted to save yourself?”  
“I know what I did was wrong. I see their faces every night, I wake in a cold sweat, food has no taste…”  
“Shepard, move…he has to pay for what he's done.” Garrus muttered.  
“You gotta let it go Garrus, he's already paying for what he did."   
Sidonis looked up, a look Garrus knew, one of respect mingled with apology. He had seen it when Sidonis had returned and grabbed his gear - and Garrus had not been able to figure out what happened. Not until one of the mercenary leaders yelled something about it later. Still, he had to pay.  
“Tell Garrus…I’m sorry” he paused looking down “nothing I say will make this right.”  
“Tell him to go.” Garrus found himself saying, he had been questioning himself all day - and if truth be known half the night, over whether to kill Sidonis or not. _Back in her orbit his plan had made no sense._  
“He’s giving you another chance Sidonis,” she warned “Don’t waste it.”  
“I won't, I will think of some way to make up for some of what I have done…”

Back at the car, Garrus looked at Shepard.  
“I don’t want to talk about it. I know you do. But… not yet.”  
“For the best Garrus.”  
“Yeah, I couldn't do it… I could still see some good in him.”He shook his head at her “I deal much better with black and white… I don’t quite know what to do with grey.”  
“You follow your heart.”  
“Following my heart is what got me into this mess.”  
“Don’t be too hard on yourself Garrus.” She touched his arm gently, then as if realising the intimacy in the touch she turned it into a companionable pat. “Let's go. Give it time.”  
“Yeah time might be all it needs.” Garrus paused knowing what she had done, knowing the risk and trust she had placed on him he had to say something. “And Shepard….”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thanks. For everything.”


	5. Propositions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard in his mind was amazing, awesome and utterly insane. Yes he was in love with her, no he never intended to act on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently working with Evernote - and it does not like certain words like don't and can't - so I apologise if this is messed up.

The atmosphere on the ship was getting tense the closer to the readiness of the team to go to the Omega 4 relay.  They all knew the risks and if they didn't, Edi and Miranda would not hesitate to fill them in. It made Garrus restless. He rechecked the guns, and rechecked his rifle. He paced. He hoped Shepard would come by to distract him. He recalibrated everything he could calibrate with a strange sense of turian pride. He knew he was ready to take the fight to the collectors, after Horizon, after everything that Shepard had told them about.To his great relief Shepard came by for a chat - he had run out of work for the moment. 

“Got time to talk?”  
“Sure just wasting time here.” He sighed as she came into the room. "I wanted to thank you again for everything you did, with Sidonis.”  
“Anytime Garrus.”she paused and for a split second her guard dropped as she said “i couldn’t do this without you.”  
“Of course you could, just not as stylish.” Garrus replied with what passed as a grin.  
“I know you have no illusions Garrus” she sat on a crate, perched elegantly on the edge the clothes she was wearing no-where near as covering as the Alliance uniform. Garrus swallowed and focused on her voice. “What do you think our chances are?”  
“Well.” He thought a minute and then added “The collectors killed you once already and all that did was piss you off. I don't think they will succeed a second time. But. Advanced technology, the Omega 4 relay… we are going to lose people - not that I will go spreading that view around but there you have it.”  
“Are we ready?”she asked quietly, more to herself than him.  
“It is weird being on a human ship heading into an impossible mission, you don't get ready the same way turians do.”  
“Oh? What about Ilos… ?”  
“Ilos was over quick, we went in killed geth, got the job done.”  
“So how do turians prepare?”  
“Hand to hand sparring usually.” Garrus shrugged it was nothing to him really, pretty average for turian ships.   
“You fight before a battle?”  
“Yeah, supervised of course, don't want to go into combat already bleeding.” He grinned to himself  “I remember there was this one scout on one ship I served on we were at each  other's throats over this and that - stress mostly. So we fought it out in the ring.”  
“I presume you took her down gently…” Shepard grinned  
“Actually, we were the two best hand to hand combat specialists on the ship - I had reach … she had flexibility.”  
“How did it end?”  
“It was grueling, 9 hours in the ring, we were extremely well matched so our superior officer declared it a tie…” Garrus almost laughed “We held the tiebreaker later in her quarters - I had reach, she had flexibility - more than one way to work off steam I guess.”  
He saw her look down at her feet a moment an unreadable expression flashing across her face, if he didn't know better he would have said it was jealousy.  
“You do look tense Garrus… you and I  could work off some steam.” she said looking up at him. Garrus nearly bit his tongue, he was shocked that Shepard had thought of that, and he knew exactly what she meant.  
“I ah didn't know you would spar Commander.” curses, his mouth was not cooperating. He should push her away, he shouldn’t even entertain the thought, right?  
“Not what I mean’t.” she grinned at him, an honest to goodness I want you grin, “We can skip right to the tie breaker…”

Garrus coughed. He had never considered sleeping with a human. It was usually referred to as a fetish and even his father had frowned on it at least once or twice since the humans had entered the galaxy.   
He suddenly found his mouth dry, and his brain slow. He thought a minute longer and knew he was thinking that he should take this chance, opportunity, it might be the only one you get.  
"I didn't know you liked… scars…” he had said then seriously “I can't think of anyone I trust more… Yeah why not..” _well done Garrus…. Reeeeal romantic._ His brain added as he tried to say yes.  
“Are you saying yes Garrus?” Shepard needed him to confirm it, he nodded.  
“I might need to do some research.. Find some music or something but…” he swallowed hard.  
“I will, ah leave you to work then.” Shepard was grinning ear to ear, like she had won a prize. It had been a long time since she smiled like that. Actually Garrus didn't remember her ever being happy like that.  
“Yes because I’m in the best state of mind to calibrate now..” his comment made her giggle as the door shut behind her.

After Shepard left, Garrus was torn between shock and dancing in glee - neither really helpful in the current circumstances. He knew nothing of human anatomy; and nothing of well human sexuality. He was at a loss then why she would come to him, why she would be happy when he said yes. Surely she had other choices? You would hate her to chase someone else… picture her with .. say Thane, and you know how you would feel. The protective jealousy, he had always had a little of around her, wishing he could hold her when she cried or be there to listen to her when she needed a sounding board. He had never felt that for anyone else; no turian had ever matched up to his views of the world.

_I make for a lousy turian,_  he thought glumly I _don't obey orders without question, and I am certainly far more curious and insistent than a turian ought to be._ _Shepard would make a great turian._ The last bought him up short. He had to remind himself so far, it was one night. He exhaled, one night that he would undoubtedly screw up.


	6. One Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus knew it might be just this one night, but it was certainly going to be something. That is something he screwed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: my love scenes are very tame, but since its a short chapter - enjoy what is here.

They were heading to the Omega 4 relay, when Garrus went up to her quarters, feeling it was now or never. She had just finished showering, her hair smelt like clean sunshine. He almost turned around and walked out when she exited the bathroom.  
He put the wine down and pressed play on some music. It started to go wrong about there. It was really the wrong music but he tried anyhow.  
"Ah if you were turian I would be complementing you on your crest and waist... so ah your hair is nice.. and your waist is .. supportive."  
Shepard almost laughed. He saw her grin flicker, she had been happy to see him but he had messed up somewhere.  
"Consider me seduced smooth talker.." she turned off the music and came to stand with him. "Now stop worrying and relax."  
"Shepard, I've seen a lot of things go wrong in my life... I want this to go right."  
She placed her hand against his shoulder nodding slightly bringing his head down so their foreheads were touching.  
"Garrus. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you." Shepard lifted her hand to gently caress the side of his face. "It's been a hell of a year, I think we deserve some time of our own."  
"Jo, I..." He didn't finish what he was saying as she took his hand and led him to the bed behind them. It took a moment for them to act, Garrus did not have any reason to rush and Jo was as curious and taking her time he was.

First she kissed him, a gentle kiss but turians are not really designed for kisses, so Garrus had never experienced such a thing. Sitting on the end of the bed so that his towering height didn't cause her to have to stretch up so far, he found out he liked kisses. Where turians have not got the soft lips of humans he soon found he enjoyed her kisses. She took his hands and guided them under her clothes where he found that the anatomy instructions provided by Mordin came in handy - breasts and what to do with them. Turians were not as soft as humans, he found himself hoping he didn't hurt her, hesitating a bit too much.  
"Garrus, stop worrying.." she whispered to him "You won't hurt me, skin is tougher than it looks."  
"Or feels.."Garrus murmured doing his share of exploration.  
They took as much time as they had. It was just Garrus and Jo, something so right in them being together that Garrus found himself actually happy, for the first time in a long time.  
All good things come to an end; Garrus supposed as he watched Jo sleeping for a little bit before they hit the relay. The fact they had slept together would keep him happy for a long time, hopefully it would be more than just this moment. He knew that he loved her, he just didn't know how she felt about him. Part of him also felt like the crazy teenager who is breaking all the rules.


	7. Collectors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking down the Collectors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I even have to say: Garrus' perspective, he isn't always with Shepard.

Still they had to deal with the collectors; and Garrus knew the risks going in, and Jo would do everything she could to bring them all back alive.  
The Omega 4 relay took them into a mass of littered ships, Garrus could have sworn some were quarian and even turian in design. No-one had ever survived the trip through the relay to tell the story of what they found however. Joker, being the formidable pilot that he is did his level best to avoid the wrecks.  
"We have company!" he called as they engaged some eye like orbs. They launched themselves at the ship, one of them breaching the cargo bay. "Shepard..."  
"I'm on it, I will take a team and deal with our guests, you keep doing.. that."  
She waved at his rapidly moving hands. "Garrus, grab Grunt and lets get rid of our visitor."  
Grunt was a heavy hitter if ever there was one, nothing that the orb had in it's arsenal could compete with an angry krogan. They whittled the health of the thing down to nearly nothing.  
"It's gone, don't think it's the last of it though be ready." Shepard said calmly reloading her heavy pistol.  
Grunt nodded "That's why I follow you Shepard, always with the big things."  
"Heh wait until you sees the Reapers." Garrus murmured.  
"Looking forward to a good battle." Grunt nodded.  
The eye returned as expected and they worked as a team to once again get it's health down. Shepard got a grin on her face as she switched to a weapon she had acquired from the collectors themselves, and blasted the rest of it to nothing.  
"Don't think it's getting up again." Garrus said  
"Nope that one is down, next fight.." Grunt laughed.

Just when they thought things were going well, the Collector ship sailed into view from inside the base.  
"An old friend..." Joker said to Shepard as he dodged the fires.  
"Time to show our new teeth." Shepard said with a grin. For every soul lost on the Normandy SR1 Joker hit the new guns and tore threw the enemy ship.  
"Now that's what I'm talking about." Joker cheered.  
Garrus observed quietly, he had worked hard on those guns and he didn't want them to fail now.  
"Hang on, this is gonna be a rough ride." Joker shouted suddenly aware that the Collector ship was about to explode but also push them, and all their systems off line.

"Is everyone alright?" Jo asked quickly, noting that Joker looked a little more shaken than normal "Joker?"  
"I think I broke a rib... or all of them..." Joker managed to get back into his chair and check the systems. "We lost a lot of systems in that crash, it will take time to get them back on line."  
"We always knew this was going to be a one way trip." Miranda added.  
"Well." Shepard looked around at them "I intend to take the collectors down, but I also intend to live to tell the tale."  
"Glad you're in charge." Joker noted.  
"Are we safe here Edi?" Shepard asked.  
"I do not detect any exterior alarms or sensors."  
"Then we go get our people back, and blow this place up."

They gathered in the meeting room, needing a new strategy.  
"Alright, we need a tech expert to take that route.." Shepard had pointed to the map in front of them - well scans of the schematics at least. Shepard looked around the table, Legion or Tali were the only choices. "Legion, I want you on this, you can hack through anything."  
"Acknowledged." the geth replied calmly - though Garrus really had no idea what would rattle a geth, he was glad he had been looked over for that task.  
"Shepard, you need someone to lead the other team, as second in command I..."  
"Ain't nobody going to follow you cheerleader." Jack said  
"This is not a popularity contest!"Miranda was clearly irritated by being called 'cheerleader' though Garrus had to agree with Jack on this - Miranda was the last person he would follow into battle.  
"Garrus will lead the second team." Shepard said without taking much time to think.  
He nodded adjusting his sniper rifle in his hands.  
"I will take a small team and go up this way, the rest of you go through this way. Legion will get the doors for us." Shepard took a breath "I know we didn't plan to do it this way, but here's the thing. The Reapers, the collectors they aren't a threat to us - they are a threat to every living being in the galaxy. Now let's go out there and show them why they should be worried about us."

Garrus noted that Shepard was taking Thane and Jack with her, he pulled Thane aside just before they left.  
"Thane, please look after her."  
"Of course." Thane peered at him with a frown, satisfied with what he saw he added "Ah I see."  
"What?"  
"You care a lot for her, it is more than just look out for her - but look out for her sanity too."  
"Yeah this place.. you know." Garrus nodded as Thane tapped him on the shoulder.  
"I care for her Garrus, I am not going to let something happen."  
"I know. I just.." Garrus sighed "If something happens to me...you're like a brother Thane, I know you would look after her and help her."  
"The risk is there." Thane nodded then "I understand."  
Garrus nodded "Well time to go deal with the Collectors and make sure they can't hurt other people we care about."  
"Indeed."  
Garrus felt a little better knowing that Thane understood, it wasn't just for now it was .. well just in case. In case he didn’t return from this mission.

The fight through the base was brutal, with husks and the collectors on their every side, but they made it to the door just as Legion got their side open.  
"Hurry open that door!" Shepard called on the coms, desperately trying to get through.  
"Give them covering fire." Garrus ordered and to his surprise his order was obeyed without question.  
Garrus had to wonder if Shepard had given him the lead of the second group to prove something to him - and maybe to herself. To him, she wanted him to know that he could lead, he was born to it. One bad event does not make the leader; he remembered back to chasing the doctor and what she had said after that. It is how you react that matters.  
For her though, Garrus knew, she was both desperate to have someone she trusted lead the group because she valued everyone - even Miranda. Garrus knew that, and he kept encouraging the group to keep moving, and to some extent, enjoy the fight. He also kept his coms on, so that Shepard could hear the odd “Sniped and dropped!” and a few “Good shooting!” as they made their way through.

They arrived not a moment too soon, a room full of pods containing colonists and crew were being processed. Garrus stared horrified as one of the colonists, still awake, still alive was liquified before them. They all moved to help their crew out of their pods. Shepard had arrived in time for them, and not a one was lost to the Collectors.  
“Shepard…” Doctor Chakwas was saying, dazed, “You came for us.”  
“I would never leave my crew to die.” Shepard said reaching out a hand to help the woman up.  
“The colonists.. They were.. Processed.. And pumped into those tubes.”  
“Edi…. where do the tubes go?”  
“They lead to a central chamber Shepard. There are currently two access paths - one is entirely covered in swarmers more than Mordin’s cure will help with and the other is heavily guarded.”  
“What about biotics against the swarms?”  
Samara nodded and they formed a plan.  
“Shepard?” Doctor Chakwas asked “What about us, we are not able to fight.”  
“We can't go back…” Miranda said sounding harsh. Shepard looked at her group her attention on Mordin.  
“Mordin can you escort these people back to the Normandy?”  
“With pleasure Shepard. Glad to be of assistance.” he pressed a few buttons and said “Joker, send nav points, will meet with you.”  
Mordin was set and then the rest fell into two groups to make it through the two sections.

Again Shepard chose Garrus to lead, he set the group going; called incoming as best he could. Balanced his sniping and the biotics of the others with the sheer strength of Grunt and Zaeed. In the end they were back to the door.  
“Shepard? Do you read?” He called, the situation growing more desperate.  
“Where are you?”  
“By the door, we are about to get swamped.”  
Garrus was worried then, but the door opened in the nick of time, still it didn’t stop a shot catching him on his armour. As they moved back behind the door, he doubled over trying to absorb the pain. Shepard came over to check on him.

“Are you ok?” her concern very readable on her face.  
He nodded, hoping that it was a convincing enough moment. The shot had done no damage, but a bruise was certainly going to come up in a day or so. Maybe this would be over by then.  
She did her comradely touch on the shoulder and moved on. He knew she was all soldier focused on this battle. Concern for her people, concern for what had been done to dishonor the colonists drove her to keep going.  
“Ah Shepard I have bad news!” Joker called “You're about to have a lot of angry collectors on your doorstep.”  
“We need to split up again, “ Miranda strategized “You take a small group and follow the pipes, find out what they are doing and then deal with this place. The rest of us will stay here and keep these ones off you - at least buy you time. “  
“No risks. We have come this far, let’s finish this.” Shepard nodded to Thane and said “Garrus and Jack will come with me, Thane stay in contact with the Normandy, if this gets too much then head back. Understand?”  
“Yes.” Thane nodded calmly. Garrus envied the assassins his calmness at times.  
"Ready, Shepard." Garrus stated making sure his rifle was too.  
"Me too." Jack added as she leapt up beside them.  
"This ends here." Shepard stated "whatever they are doing we cant allow them to continue." she paused then in a moment of honesty she added "Do me proud, better still do yourselves proud, lets show them what we are made of."

Garrus heard grunt do his version of a clap which was just one loud thump really. With that the three of them rode the platform away.  
"Shepard..." Edi was saying "I traced the pipes to a central point. Scans show a large form which is both synthetic and organic. If my calculations are corect they are making a Reaper..."  
They rounded the corner and looked up in front of them was a tall Reaper more specifically a human Reaper.  
'Holy shit."Jack gasped at it, never the one for polite conversation.  
"Edi, it is a reaper, a human reaper."  
"Shepard, scans reveal a weak spot in the tubes if you shatter those it ought to lose its supports."  
"Got it Edi thanks."  
"Keep your head down we have company." Garrus called setting up his rifle. Jack nodded now completely charged up ready to fight, not for the first time Garrus was glad she was fighting for them and not against.  
"Shepard focus on those pipes we will deal with our guests."  
He heard the glass shatter on two of the tubes and his rifle tore through several collectors.  
"Jack, watch out for those Scions." he called she ducked behind some cover just in time as the shockwave hit.  
Shepard had the pipes down fast. Next step was to blow the place up.  
'Hand me the bomb will you.' Shepard leant down and pulled up a central pillar.  
"Illusive man for you.." Jack said, her disgust barely disguised.  
"Well done shepard." the Illusive man was saying.  
'Not done til we blow this place up.'  
'Shepard, we could use the technology, the way they built the reaper..."  
"No." Shepard said without letting him finish 'What was done here was beyond monstrous."  
"Yes but imagine in our fight against the Reapers.."  
"We will win that fight, without losing our soul." Shepard signaled to end the feed and Jack obligingly cut the illusive man off mid plea.  
"He could have a point from a strategic view point." Garrus ever the one to see the other view and all his military training telling him that an advantage however won was worth it.  
"No, we wont lose our morality to gain an edge." Shepard knew he was not approving or disapproving, and the look she threw him was gratitude when he nodded and handed her the code for the ordinance.  
"Crap." Jack replied as the platform shook. "that thing is still alive..."  
Shepard nodded grimly. Grabbing the weapon she liked to use from the Collectors. Some kind of irony really that they provided them with the best weapon for the job.  
"Focus on the Reaper, we've got the Collectors." Garrus called as Jack threw a handful of the collectors off the platform they were on. He lined up shot after shot.  
Before long they felt the shift of the platform, swearing in turian Garrus lost his balance quickly plummeting to the edge. Shepard leapt after him and grabbed his hand just as he was about to fall.  
Then the platform gave way completely. It took a moment to regain consciousness after they landed, Shepard had pulled Jack to her feet and lifted a steal beam off him, Garrus was awed by Shepard's strength, though they had little time.  
"Commander? Shepard? Are you there?" Joker sounded desperate over the open coms, Garrus understood why.  
"We are here, on our way to you."  
They ran, Shepard behind them trying to keep the chasing swarms from reaching them. Garrus jumped in time to have the platform fall below them. His heat sank as Shepard ran as fast as possible, he had to hope she could jump the gap.  
Her hands barely held on the edge, Garrus reached down and pulled her in. The sense of victory creating a rush.  
"Get us out of here Joker." Shepard said catching her breath.


	8. Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between the time Garrus left the ship, and when he went home he was on the Citadel talking to people or trying to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally the first part of what happens between mass effect 2 and mass effect 3.

After the Collectors were dealt with they took the long way back to Illium and then the Citadel. Joker understood the directive to take it slow going home, given after Shepard's last debrief to the Illusive Man where she basically told him to stick his ideas for supremacy, and that the Reapers would be defeated without losing themselves in the process. Garrus was proud of her, though he did keep his sense of ownership or belonging to himself. They had not spoken much about them.

Shepard called them all together to the meeting room.  
"Look, you are all heros." she began "without each of us playing our part we would have failed. So it falls to me to be honest with you all. I am going to the Alliance. The Reapers will be here sooner than we like, sooner than any of us would be ready. They will most likely imprison me for a while. That being said, all of you are free to choose what you want though I highly advise against going back to Cerberus, you can do that if you wish." She paused the whole crew were shaking their heads, not a one had any interest to returning to Cerberus, even Miranda was shaking her head to that idea.  
"If you have home, or any family go and warn them, get ready yourself for what is coming." She paused "Just do yourselves proud in wherever you end up. We will stop at llium and the Citadel before Earth so please disembark at one of those points as you choose. Remember always, no matter what comes next, all of you are heros."  
She stood down, ended the meeting and Garrus saw her looking at him, as if memorising his face.  
'Shepard.." he came over "Jo?"  
"Come upstairs." she said quietly, he nodded and they managed to slip away from the group.

"What are you going to do?" she asked as they sat together on the sofa.  
"Try and warn people." Garrus sighed "Not that you havent but it is a very pressing issue now."  
"Ha they won't listen, and then they will either blame us or expect us to fix it."  
"Or both. Most likely both."  
"Figures."  
"Not to change topic but," she had somehow moved to sitting on his lap, leaning against him.  
"Oh? You dont want to talk about the impending doom of the galaxy?"  
"I was wondering about us. If there is an us.. I mean I don't want to.." he couldn't continue because Shepard was kissing him now, he figured the conversation would wait any time he had with her alone was precious enough.

As it was the conversation never happened. Thane and Garrus both decided the Citadel was a good choice.  
"Was home for a while.. will try and tell them..." Garrus said to Shepard before pulling her into a rough hug. "Try and stay safe Shepard."  
Thane too said his farewells with a hug and a reminder that he would be seeing to his son.  
"Staying on the straight and narrow to be a good role model." he said his face serious, "But if I have to come and help break you out Shepard, I will."  
"Shouldn't be needed Thane, but thanks. Try and stay in touch, both of you." Shepard added the last bit quietly.  
Garrus had a bad feeling that was going to get real hard real soon. The Alliance had never much been in favor of Shepard's mission before but now they had her cornered they might well cut her off from everyone. He worried that they would do that, and he wouldn't see her again.  
"We will see each other again." Shepard said as if reading his mind, her eyes on him, they knew Thane was on borrowed time as it was, his health failing. "Hopefully both of you." she added.  
  
Still bigger problems were coming, and he knew his people were far from ready for it. A military society the turian hierarchy were always ready for war, it was not that, it was the size, the menace and the brutality of the war that Garrus thought they would not be ready for.

This was one of the days he was glad he had kept his small one room apartment on the Citadel, he had worked for C-sec for years, bought a tiny apartment in the better part of a mostly turian part of the wards and found it to his liking. It was not flash, or anything but it was his and home. He stood on the doorstep now, just inside his door and sighed, it smelt and felt like it had been closed up for a few minutes, all fresh and clean. Everything neat and in it's place. The over-whelming smell of gun oil and soldering near the door made him smile slightly, he had spent the money and got a proper work bench for his rifle. He loved his guns and he had worked hard on the mods and so on over the time he had owned this particular model.

His time in Omega had not even shown on this place - it was spectacularly neat and organized which spoke to the military in him; nothing lying around or anything like that; not that he owned much. He looked at his computer and saw that he had messages. He grunted most from his supervisor at c-sec asking him to return, even if he hated his job he was still considered good at it. There were other messages, his sister calling about their mother, his father calling about his mother. Garrus sighed, his mother had died now, for what it was worth he hated being the odd one out, the not dutiful son. He never could cope with her being so sick. His father had said something before but now the messages got erased like the others.

There was a message from Admiral Anderson, looking for him, wanting to know where and how he was. That surprised him, he would have to reach out to him to find out about Shepard now. Hopefully Anderson would still have contact with her.

A message from Kaidan, dated after the Horizon event; apologizing to him.  
_I know you won't get this for a long time Garrus, but our friendship actually does mean something to me so I wanted to apologize. The shock of seeing her there, alive. I don't think I will ever get over her but I know the way she sees you, and I know if you give her the chance I might well lose her to you so I will say this once: look after her she deserves a better man than I, and I hope that it is you._  
_I am sorry about Horizon. I hope we can talk in person soon, I hate being isolated from people who were on the Normandy, and I know we talked a lot over the last year before you left the Citadel._  
Garrus shrugged, he would have to find Kaidan and catch up with him.

First though he had calls to make. He tried first to get an appointment with the council. It took three days for them to return with a no. In that time, he had told Bailey about Shepard's going back to the Alliance over dinner one evening, as he caught up with the Captain, now Commander.  
"Don't suppose you can get me in to see the council Bailey..." Garrus had half jokingly said.  
"I can get you in to see your own Councillor, he's not too bad if you are turian." he said with a shrug "Doesn't like me that much but I know who to ask for an appointment."  
"That would be a good start."  
"This is about the things Shepard was on about?"  
"Yeah if I have any luck with the council, I might need a medigel for the shock." Garrus joked "Last time I saw the turian councilor he was using inverted commas.."  
"Ah." Bailey nodded "If you don't make it here, you could always try at home on Palaven."  
"Last resort. My father might be able to help but we are not exactly.. on terms." Garrus didn't add he hadn't been home for a very long time.  
"See you next time Garrus, I have to go do.. paperwork." Bailey managed to make it sound like doing paperwork was worse than anything else in the world. "You will get a call tomorrow about an appointment, best I can do, hope they listen."  
"I will let you know what I find." Garrus lifted his drink in a salute and settled down to watch the TV above the bar.

The news report from earth was grim as far as he was concerned. Commander Shepard was basically relieved of rank and duty, and in an inquiry. It made it sound like she had killed a lot of people to get there, but Garrus knew she hadn't and that made him frustrated on her behalf.  
He saw a bodyguard, a strong looking Alliance lieutenant- based on the guys uniform- and it wasn't Kaidan but still a part of him wondered if Shepard went back to her people whether she would even be interested in him anymore. Still she looked calm, if a bit tired, and he could see the familiar half grin on her face when someone had said something funny, so she was still laughing at least.  
"Stay safe Jo." he muttered into his drink.

"Garrus?" a voice behind him, distinctly human, male and with the sound that he had been told that marked him Canadian.  
"Kaidan Alenko." Garrus said without looking around at the man who came to the bar beside him, wearily sitting down. "Didn't expect you here Kaidan, thought you might have been called back..." he nodded to the TV.  
"They may do so, but for now I am still working here." Kaidan ordered a beer. "I didn't expect you to be here Garrus, I thought you would avoid this place."  
"Meeting a friend for drinks actually." Garrus replied "And they have a good place here, even if it is mostly occupied by C-sec."  
"I prefer it." Kaidan nodded "Seems a bit safer than some other places."  
Garrus was sure Kaidan was thinking about Chora's den all those years back when they all met.  
"Some places never change, the Citadel seems to have changed a lot in three years." Garrus smiled "I got your note Kaidan."  
"Ah."  
"Don't stress about it, I knew you were off centre seeing Shepard."  
A moment of silence followed before Kaidan replied "Did Shepard say anything?"  
"About you? Not specifically, she kept that one to herself."  
"I wrote her. I doubt it helped."  
"Not really no, I think Cerberus had a hand in you being in Horizon Kaidan, but it wasn't what you thought."  
"When are these things ever what I thought?"  
"You were bait." Garrus felt Kaidan had to know, had to catch on that it was not Cerberus who had lured the collectors there to Horizon, it was the fact that Kaidan was linked to Shepard.  
"Bait? For the Collectors?"  
"The Collectors wanted Shepard. Actually a Reaper named Harbinger wanted Shepard." Garrus continued "So any crew, anyone who had a link to Shepard, was as good as bait."  
"He came after the Normandy, because ...?"  
"Shepard is the single biggest threat to the Reapers that exists." Garrus said " They came after the Normandy to get her and us by extension."  
"Is she... different now?" Kaidan tried to ask keeping his eyes on his drink.  
"You mean since Cerberus bought her back?:"  
"Well I..." Kaidan shook his head "I know, I am an idiot."  
"I was not going to say that. I was going to say, Commander Jo Shepard is what she is, she hasn't changed a bit. Still crazy, still incredible."  
Kaidan was staring at him in shock. Garrus guessed that he had never expressed his feelings for Jo before.  
"So I take it you and she..." Kaidan started then shook his head "I don't think I want to know the answer to that. You love her?"  
Garrus was caught off guard then, to have Kaidan just blurt out that question made him squirm.  
"I care a lot for Jo." Garrus said "It is up to her if there is anything else."  
"Damn it, I let her go didn't I?"  
"Yeah. You should have just jumped in two feet first."  
"Head first..." Kaidan muttered "And now.. now I can't trust my own sense of who she is, and that is more my fault than hers."  
"Might not have long to think on things Kaidan, there is a war coming our direction." Garrus said looking at the man who he respected but also to some degree felt pity for - they loved the same woman after all and as much as Garrus knew he had doubts about his place with Shepard, he also knew that she was over Kaidan.  
"Well I have an appointment with a councillor tomorrow, so I should head off to home." Garrus broke the silence that had hung over them.  
"Yeah I have work early too." Kaidan said "Good to see you Garrus, no matter what it might mean eh?"  
"You too Kaidan, take care of yourself." Garrus shook the man's hand and turned to leave.  
"And Kaidan..." he said just before he left "Make sure your folks are ready, this stuff it isn't going to be a neat and tidy war we are not all going to make it out."  
Kaidan nodded, and paid for his drink.  
"I've told my Dad as much as isn't highly classified, you know they clamped down on anyone talking about this?"  
"I heard." the undertone of anger to Garrus voice was unmistakable "But I have also heard Harbinger and Sovereign and they both said that they were just the tip, can you picture a thousand Reapers? The Council could not even cope with one. I don't hold a lot of hope for talking to them."  
"Good luck Garrus, wherever this takes you." Kaidan said somberly as they parted ways.

The turian councilor was not pleased to see him.  
"Garrus Vakarian." he greeted him as he entered "I wondered when you would come in."  
"Sir?"  
"I hear that you were working for Commander Shepard."  
"That is correct Sir."  
"Take a seat, this ought to be good." the councilor gestured to the empty chair across from him.  
"Sir, what are we doing about the Reapers?" Garrus asked , without taking a seat, as he didn't want to play games.  
"I dont think that it is any of your concern Garrus, as you know, they are a fictional..."  
"Sir... I was there on Virmire, I was there on Ilos, I was there when Sovereign attacked." Garrus paused "I am pretty sure I know more than the regular person, so I will ask again: What are we doing to prepare?"  
"We cant." the turian was looking at him and for the first time he was honest "There is too much at stake here on the Citadel if we even admit the threat is real."  
"So we don't get ready because we are too scared to upset the normality?" Garrus was confused by the logic, say there was no threat until you believe it.  
"Sorry Garrus, I can't help you." the councillor replied standing and moving to the door "Thanks for stopping by."

With the door sliding firmly closed, Garrus was stunned. The threat was real, even the councillor had accepted that it was real but they would not do anything about it. _Just waiting til crap hits the fan_. Garrus said to himself, as he walked off, stopping by Bailey's new office he knocked and went in.  
"How did it go?"  
"The usual - exactly as expected we can't see the threat so it's not there." Garrus sighed.  
Bailey looked at him strangely then.  
"I have a suggestion, you might not like it."  
"Can't be worse than the council."  
"That depends on how things are with your family." Bailey replied "Your dad is a bit of a legend around C-sec, was very meticulous at his job; but also good at listening. You could try talking to him."  
"Seriously?" Garrus sat down on the arm of the sofa near Bailey's desk. "I had not thought of that. He still knows people."  
"Something is better than nothing, and if he believes you; and there is no reason not to.."  
"Except that half of it sounds insane. Even the bits you know." Garrus replied  
"Still, worth a try." Bailey sighed looking at his computer "I really don't know what to do to get c-sec ready there isn't a manual for how to prepare."  
"As long as you know what is coming, that it IS coming, that in my books is a start. Maybe start getting ready for refugees, I presume that is what you will see most of."  
"Yeah extra shifts up on the docks. Thanks Garrus." Bailey looked back at his work. "This job is ridiculous, I can see why you quit."  
"No I quit because I was not my father." Garrus said with a laugh "And Shepard is a very good leader - following her, following a Spectre, those didn't garnish any favors with my Dad I can tell you." Garrus got up to leave.  
"Garrus don't stay away from home too long, we know whats coming, make sure they do too." Bailey sighed "Now, I have to deal with a crisis with a Volus diplomat."  
"See you later Bailey."  
"Hopefully."

Garrus made plans, on his way back to his apartment, he had a ticket to Palaven, and a choice to make - tell his dad he was coming home or just turn up on the doorstep. He also sent a note to Shepard as he had done every day but this one explained he might go quiet for awhile, getting a secure connection to earth on Palaven was a problem for the regular person. 


	9. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Garrus went home - well it had been a long time and for some reason he had put it off. He expected to get in trouble, to be the odd one out, what he didn't expect was a welcoming, believing father and sister who could forgive him and listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely my own interpretation of events, there isn't enough canon info on Garrus' father to even give him a name so I avoided doing that, and hopefully it works.

Palaven was always a little warmer than the ships they traveled on, Garrus was happy to be home - away from any sign of snow or ice at the very least. Familiar fortified city views greeted him as he stepped off the shuttle. He had sent his father a message to say he was coming, and much to his surprise he was there to meet Garrus.  
"Garrus." His father said calmly as his son, the wayward child who never could return home in time for anything important, home because of something urgent he had to talk about, stepped off the walkway in front of him.  
"Dad." Garrus greeted his father "Any news?"  
"Your sister is home."  
"Ah." Garrus did not get along with Solana very well, their last communication was not a positive one. His mother had been sick, and Solana had been caring for her and trying to find treatment. Garrus tried to help quietly and had managed some but too late to really make any difference.  
"So, Garrus," His father said as they traveled to the family home. "The last time we talked.."  
"I was on Omega." Garrus recalled "Just before Jo came into sight."  
"Jo?" his father's voice echoed a raised eyebrow - something humans did rather well.  
"Ah Commander Shepard." Garrus fidgeted nervously. He couldn't really let that slip so easily could he? In five seconds his father would have everything about his relationship on the table and sorted. It had always been like that - one of the reasons he had felt justified staying away from Palaven; Garrus had no desire to settle down with someone his father would approve of.  
"Garrus... is there some reason you called her Jo?"  
"That's her name?" Garrus sighed.  
"I see." His father was quiet for a while then, focusing on the traffic and leaving Garrus to think.  
"She is a good friend, Dad, an excellent friend." He tried again feeling like he was digging himself into a deeper hole.  
"You had a relationship with her?" His father asked, cutting through Garrus attempts to deflect the topic.  
"Yes." Garrus sighed "I guess."  
"You guess?"  
"She returned to the Alliance, to tell them about the things I have to talk to you about, and I haven't heard from her for a while."It all came out quickly "So I don't quite know where we stand or if she is still interested in me."  
"Wait and see." his Dad replied "You know it took a while for your mother and I."  
"I was not expecting that." Garrus frowned his father had not given him a hard time about Shepard being human.  
"I'm sure you weren't but losing someone you love, even to something as slow as that illness, it does something to how you view things." his father replied "I'm sorry if I have been strict in the past in these things, sometimes it got hard to separate work and home. Let me ask you son, do you love her?"  
"I think so." Garrus replied "You can't imagine how I felt seeing her through my scope - she was dead for two years."  
"That, you might have to explain to me."  
"Yeah, it is where I have been for the last three months or so." Garrus replied "I was with Shepard on the Normandy SR2."  
"They rebuilt the ship?" His father was turning into the blocks that Garrus recognized as home.  
"Its a long story, but yes they rebuilt it."  
"Was a well designed one, for all the secrecy involved, heard it was turian and human collaboration."  
"The first one, the second is based on that but bigger, still pretty spectacular though."  
"What happened to the first one? I heard it crashed, and I heard you were alive - thanks to media - but you never contacted us."  
"I... " Garrus had tried to bury himself in work, or in anything that didn't represent Shepard. He had not realized how well he had done that.  
"She died?" His father frowned at Garrus then, they had come to a stop.  
"More or less. Enough for the alliance to declare her dead, when they rescued us, she wasn't on any of the escape pods. Joker - the pilot - had seen her get spaced."  
"So?"  
"So I did what I always do when things go wrong - threw myself into work, trying to make a difference."  
His father turned around and looked at his son, Garrus was staring at his hands.  
"So right from the start you loved her? If you had said that two and a half years ago I would have told you to stop daydreaming."  
"I had no idea at the time, I just thought she was a good friend." Garrus laughed "Everyone else thought I had a crush on her even then."  
"A crush... what's that?"  
"Human term for thinking you are in love with someone, whether they return the feelings or not. Usually unspoken, or at least kept secret from the other person. Sorry Dad, forget sometimes that I have been around humans a lot."  
"So we are home. Be nice to your sister." He gestured towards the house "Losing your mother hit both of us hard but I think Sol took it a lot harder than she should have."  
"I am sorry I wasn't here." Garrus said suddenly "I didn't really know what to do, what to say."  
His father nodded, it was not much but it was a start, and what Garrus had to talk to him about was too important for them to stay at odds, so Garrus did his best to mend the distance between them.  
"Hello Solana." he greeted his sister, who was standing in the kitchen when they came inside.  
"Oh you are here for dinner then?" she had asked, like she always had.  
"Sure," Garrus nodded.  
"You still have your room Garrus." His father added pointing at his luggage, he didn't have much - years as a military soldier having made him pack and travel light; actually the bulk of his luggage was his sniper rifle.  
"Thanks."  
"Say that when you see the stupid posters you had as a kid."Solana laughed as she started preparing dinner.  
It was a good sound, Garrus realized, he hadn't heard her laugh much. She had carried the weight of their mother's sickness for most of her adult life.  
His room was nearly the same as when he had left it ten years before. It made him laugh, the things he had idolized as a kid. The picture of the c-sec recruitment poster, the other things that had seemed like a good idea. He didn't pull them down but he did add one photo to his wall. He knew Jo would not approve of being placed on his childhood wall but he didn't care. He had her photo close to his bed where he could see it, to remind him what it was he was going to fight for - the chance to see her, and maybe to hold her again.

That night, sitting in his father's study he began to tell the story of the journey he had made on the Normandy. The first hour he described everything he could remember about the trip to Virmire, and the rest of the journey through the conduit and onto the citadel - including the conversation with Sovereign on Virmire, and the conversation with Vigil on Ilos, even to his own ears that sounded far fetched.  
"You mean that someone programmed the ship to talk to you?"  
"No." Garrus exhaled "The ship, the one we took down on the citadel was a Reaper."  
His father nodded, having clarified the detail he went back to listening to Garrus. For his part, he kept telling the story; as best he could right up until the present time.  
"I know Dad all of this sounds crazy and far fetched."  
"The Reapers are coming." His father had looked up at him "Look."  
Laid out on the papers in front of him, his father had written a chart of what Garrus had said, everything, even the trip through the relay, and the news that a Batarian colony had been annihilated by an Alliance team blowing up another relay.  
"We don't chose these things." He said looking at Garrus "But from everything you have said, even the information about the Keepers, small details everything adds up to what you already know - the Reapers are coming, and coming soon."  
"You believe me?" Garrus had thought it would have taken more arguing.  
"Yes." His father looked pensively at the diagrams "Now the question is what do we do with it?"


	10. Critical Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stand up for what you believe in and make a lot of noise, and you tell the people you love how you feel about them.

There comes a moment in every turians life, Garrus decided, where you either toe the line or you make the line. The Primarch of Palaven might be a family friend but Garrus was still skeptical about this particular idea of his fathers. It was definitely making the line, deciding to hear the story and then to believe him were two different things and Garrus sat back while his father explained his diagrams.  
"So what you are saying, Vakarian," the Primarch took a sip of water "is that the rumors about what Commander Shepard - that human woman- had seen is true; and that your son" here he paused and flicked a look at Garrus, for the first time in over 30 years Garrus felt about ten, and being referred to as his father's son actually made him feel a lot younger. He sat up straighter out of habit.  
"Your Son..."the Primarch continued, a hint of skepticism in his tone "was there with her and saw these things?"  
"It is a difficult story to believe Sir." Garrus responded, wanting desperately to - what was it Shepard always said - fish slap the turian in front of him into listening. Still diplomacy was his fathers area and he had no choice but to follow through with this.  
"Alright then Garrus, why should I believe you?"  
"Sir, I was actually there when Shepard spoke to Sovereign, and I was there when she took down the Collector base. I am a witness to the things that were said. I do know, if we don't do something to get ready it is going to be certain death for all life in the galaxy." Garrus tried not to let his impatience sound like he was complaining, he certainly understood how Shepard felt at not being believed.  
"hm." The Primarch replied stroking his mandibles in a way that was both hypnotizing and annoying at the same time. "I will need time to think."  
"Fedorian" Garrus heard his father say "Don't take too long; this is serious, and we don't have much time. I will call you about it tomorrow."  
On the way back home, Garrus was silent, his father looked at him strangely as they pulled into the garage.  
"Alright Son, what is eating you?"  
"Shepard." Garrus replied "None of her superiors believed her either; not with Sovereign and not now... instead they have her locked up like a criminal."  
"She did work with Cerberus." His father pointed out "That can hardly instill trust in..."  
"She had no choice, she nearly died."  
"I know." his father nodded "and they bought her back; but Alliance were never that straight forward, humans have placed too much importance on feelings."  
"Don't get me wrong Dad, some of her people have listened." Garrus paused before adding "Hackett, and Anderson listened; but what are two voices in a million?"  
"Do you feel that way?"  
"Yes. I'm starting to understand how Shepard feels or felt about being ignored - it is not just the value of being trusted; it is knowing something horrible is about to happen and knowing we could be more ready than we are.... it is... hard to face."  
"I will make sure the Primarch acts Garrus, at the very least even a small force can achieve something" his father replied "though from what you have said, it is Shepard herself who will be the best chance any of us have got.."  
"You think that of her too?" Garrus was used to believing that Shepard could do the impossible, she had proved time and again her skill in that area, but it was one thing to consider the woman he loved and another to hear someone else who in the past had been anti-human say so.  
"It seems she is skilled in leadership... and killing reapers." His father said grimly "She is the only one so far who knows how to annoy them and attack them."  
"True."Garrus sighed "That is a lot to place on someone though."  
"You really do care about her huh?"  
"Yes Sir." There was no hesitation and his father stared at the steering column for a moment.  
"Then make sure that she survives, make sure you are there for her."  
"I used to watch her take on the galaxy with a calm smile, used to think she never felt things... but then I saw her pace the cargo bay, fight off her emotions so she could lead."  
"Sounds like she should've been born turian." His father quietly replied approval in his tone "your mom was a lot better at doing with emotional stuff, but hell she could fight."  
"I never thought of that. I suppose she did her service?"  
"It is where we met."  
"How did you cope after service then?"  
"Little easier in turian society Garrus, we do what is expected and hope things fall into place." His father flicked him a look "planning for after a war?"  
"I ah..."Garrus was suddenly tongue tied.  
"It's OK son, it's good to see you like this." His father clapped him on the shoulder. "Might want to introduce the idea to your sister."  
  
His sister would already know something or rather some one was involved. Sol was always the mind reader, and as much as his Dad would get him to confess in five seconds, Sol was able to extract truth and story in about as much time with a cup of turian cocoa and a smile.  Garrus had planned to be gentle introducing the idea of him with Shepard but Solana had other plans.  
"So, what's her name?" She handed him the cocoa.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Oh come on Garrus, you disappeared on us, it must be a she."  
"Sol, I don't ..."  
"Garrus you can start with who, what , where and why... end with why the hell you are here and she isn't.."  
He might as well, Sol like everyone else in the galaxy was unaware that the Reapers were coming, the need for her to know might as well begin with Shepard.  
"Fine. There is a she."  
"I knew it! What family is she from?"  
"Ah. She isn't from Palaven." Garrus paused remembering he still was not sure where he stood with Shepard. "I am not even certain of where we stand... it is ..."  
"She's human then?" His sister laughed "Poor Garrus."  
"Poor me? why poor?"  
"Because humans are full of soft squishy feelings Garrus, all that kind of stuff that is not clear, and is certainly harder for us to figure out..."  
"You seem to be an expert..." he eyed his sister with surprise.  
"I had some experience you could say.." she shrugged stirred her cocoa and added "I don't want to talk about it."  
"Well, at least I have enough stuff to keep us both busy... remember the ah mercenary job I had?"  
"The one which did not allow you to come home when mother was so ill?"  
He nodded, guilt still covered him when he considered that, Shepard would have taken a quick detour if she knew.  
"Well there was more to it."  
"I gathered... that Spectre you followed after c-sec anything to do with this?"  
"How on earth did you..."  
"If you get dad angry don't expect things to stay secret in our house."  
"Was it that bad?"Garrus shook his head.  
"Was not exactly the best time to be doing that." she gestured at the empty chairs "You can't imagine how stressful it all was. "  
"Sorry Sol. I really should have done better." he paused "I don't think I can make it up to you or dad."  
"It was what it was." Solana shrugged "So back to the main topic.. your girl.."  
"We never talked about what we were..." Garrus said quietly  
"Doesn't stop you having feelings for her." Sol guessed correctly "but.. is there something else?"  
Garrus paused a moment, trying to figure out a way to tell her the something else.  
"Have you heard of Commander Shepard?"  
A moments silence followed as Solana stirred her drink thoughtfully. Knowing her, Garrus decided, she was probably adding one plus one... and getting who he was involved with.  
"The human Spectre, the one you followed, yes I heard she was in trouble with... oh Garrus..." Sol's face lit up "You fell in love with the human spectre.... I don't suppose she noticed or anything did she?"  
"Actually she did..." Garrus blinked as he recalled that she had actually initiated things.  
"Garrus, what's the story?" Sol leant forward "I am sure I am in need of hearing how you spectacularly messed things up."  
"No nothing like..."  
"She came on to you didn't she?"  
"Solana!"  
"Oh come on Gar, we are both grown ups now surely you aren't shocked." She laughed at him "Besides when else can I shock my big brother?"  
"Solana, I... you are right of course I totally screwed it up."  
"What did you say or worse what did you do?"  
"I think I called it a cross species liaison and told her I don't have a fetish," Garrus stared into his cup while his sister giggled.  
"Sol, there is something else. "Garrus shifted uneasily, it was one thing having his dad know about the Reapers and believe him but another thing telling his sister.  
"Okay, this sounds serious, remind me to give you some vids on human customs too."  
"I ah have some already. " Garrus was sure if he had been human he would be red faced as it was his mandibles were tightly clenched in trying not to reveal his embarrassment to his sister for whatever that's worth. "For the last three years, Jo... I mean Shepard has been telling..."  
"The story of the Reapers? I heard of that.." Sol grabbed her data pad and scrawled up some information. "The council said it was a hallucination, I kept notes because well you know, you were with her."  
"You were keeping tabs on me?"  
"You were not telling us anything about where you were or what you were doing, sure someone had to."  
"Sorry Sol, didn't think it would make you worry."  
"I had to, Mum was busy dying and Dad was busy.. well being angry about Mum dying."  
"That bad?"  
"You really don't want to know - I heard both sides. Anyway, I kept as much tabs on you as I could. Lost you after Omega."  
"Shepard came for me." Garrus said quietly "She didn't know who I was but she came to recruit for her mission."  
"Then you called about Mum being the usual jerk you are, I really thought you didn't care. Then suddenly we got an offer from a Salarian research team. I figure you had something to do with that?" If she had been human Garrus could have seen her raise her eyebrow at him, he knew enough to hear it in the tone of her voice.  
"I cared, I just didn't have the time to.. no thats not right, I didn't come back for it; I'm sorry, I regret leaving that on you.:"  
"Garrus it's okay, we made it eventually. You are here now.'  
"Not because I want to be." His honesty surprised her "I had to - to tell you, to warn you about what is coming."  
"What is coming? You don't mean to say... the Reapers? The whole thing the council was trying to hush up is actually true..." her shock was understandable, Garrus had lived through hearing most of the knowledge and even he found it disquieting.  
"It's true. It is all true." Garrus said "And we are no-where near ready, and our time is running out."  
"Why warn us?"Sol said then "What can we do?"  
"I don't know. Stock up supplies, a decent first aid kid, medi-gel all the things you would take with you into the field."  
"Palaven... are they listening to you?"  
"No." Garrus sighed "And the Alliance are not listening to Shepard either - I can only hope we can do something, buy ourselves more time, be better equipped to help the colonies survive."  
"Is it going to be bad'?"  
"Do you remember the footage from the citadel three years ago?"  
"Yes, it was horrible, so many dead." she shook her head "And that thing.. wait.. that thing was a Reaper? Spirits Garrus how do we ever get ready for something like this? I can see why they don't want to believe it... it is unbelievable."  
"I know. " Garrus shrugged raising his hands in a surrender "I really don't k now how to convince people it is true... Dad however, he has diagrams and charts."  
"He always does, so you told him everything? Even about you and .. Jo?"  
Garrus appreciated the effort Solana went to, to make it sound normal as though Jo was just any one else.  
"Yes. He told me to just wait and see about Jo. He's talking to the Primarch about the rest."  
"The Primarch? I hope he listens. I suppose we should get some sleep, sounds like it is going to come about soon that we won't be getting much so take the chances where we can."  
"Yeah. Sol, in case I don't ... in case it is sooner than I get a chance to talk to you again, "Garrus coughed awkwardly, it wasn't in the nature of their family to be caring but he had to try, "I care a lot for you and well, heres hoping."  
"Go to bed Garrus, you need sleep." she said shooing him "And I love my big brother too."

Yes, Garrus thought to himself as he fell off to sleep. these are the critical moments in life - where you stand up for what you believe in and make a lot of noise, and you tell the people you love how you feel about them. _Goodnight Jo, hope you're doing okay, and that you know I miss you._


	11. Task Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you become an expert because you have seen one before, you know things are bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again work of fiction with a ME 3 tie in.

"Fedorian, this is Vakarian." Garrus heard his father before he saw him, talking calmly to the Primarch like he was inviting him over for lunch - actually he was doing that so maybe it was not so strange. "Lunch as usual? Also did you consider what we said, read the information I left with you? I see. Just do something, anything. " There was a pause as Garrus imagined the Primarch was giving his father the run down of why he couldn't do anything and how unbelievable it all was anyhow. "Garrus can lead it. I am sure he would appreciate that. Oh what have you heard?" Another pause but this time Garrus had walked into the room and been waved over his father handing him a note which said "task force?" Garrus nodded, it would do. It was something, and something was better than nothing.  
"I see. Well we can talk over lunch." His father ended his call.  
"Garrus, the Primarch has agreed to give you a small task force - I know it isn't much but at least it is something, he still does not want to believe it is true but there is news today, or rather a lack of news and that bothers the Primarch and myself."  
"Who have we not heard from?"  
"The Batarians." his father frowned "It should not be a surprise but something seems very wrong with all this."  
"Do we normally hear from them?"  
"Yes, they are normally petitioning for help with council stuff, wanting us to back them for whatever reason." his father sighed "There has been no word from them for a few days now. I am hoping it isn't what you think it is, but we cant be sure."  
"What do you think we can do to get ready? With the task force I mean." Garrus felt that input at this point was helpful. He had learned a large amount about his father in the last few days, and the fact that his father believed him went a long way to reestablishing his own sense of civic duty.  
"I always thought our communication lines could do with shoring up." His father considered a moment and added "Theres other things you will figure out, take the resources and do what you can get away with."  
"That is not usually the advice you give." Garrus pointed out "I was waiting for the strict guidelines."  
"I don't think the Reapers will care about our guidelines." His father paused covered his eyes "It is hard to comprehend something so large, I saw footage from the citadel of course, and had you told me that ship was a Reaper then I would have laughed - no-one who has ever been in the military wants to consider an enemy that large. You will need to convince the leaders of your team to grasp that they are real, and they are coming."  
Garrus nodded, it was good advice, and he knew his father was shaken by the revelations that Garrus had bought to him.  
"I will get Fedorian to start as soon as possible." Garrus agreed, nodding as his father added "Spirits help us all."

It was five months later that they came; Garrus had worked as hard as he could with what he had been given - shoring up the communication lines, and stockpiling resources at the colonies. It was not enough, it never was, not when he had to consider how many lives would be at stake. He took care to look around his home town and appreciate the view, knowing he wouldn't see it again, or at least not for a long time.

"Garrus Vakarian?" A uniformed officer entered his office - a task force AND an office, he had felt almost giddy at the thought. "Sir, Primarch Fedorian is asking that you make yourself available as an expert on..." the man pointed to the sky where the evidence of the Reapers tearing through their fleet was making planet fall. "On those."  
Garrus had to swallow, he really did not feel like an expert; all the years running from the status quo of what a turian was meant to be and do; he was suddenly and ungraciously thrown in the deep end.  
"I understand. Where do I need to be?"  
"Menae, Sir if we lose that moon we..." the soldier shook his head "Hanging on as hard as we can sir but we could certainly use some help."  
"Okay, I will head there. who do I report to? "  
"General Victus." the officer pulled out a document "Also, I believe Primarch Fedorian wishes for you to be ranked a little above a General so you, in his words, can bark orders and not be questioned."  
It sounded like Fedorian, he had not gotten to know Garrus, preferring to let the task force work quietly in the back ground where the threat of a Reaper invasion could be ignored. It was easy to imagine that the man had been genuinely shocked at the arrival of the Reapers in their space.  
"Major," Garrus asked suddenly "Have we heard from Earth at all? Do we know if the humans are..."  
"Fighting sir, but getting hit hard from all reports. Council denied a request to send aid."  
_Spirits don't let me have to grieve her again, I am not ready._  
"Alright, let them know I am on my way." Garrus nodded, saluting the young officer out.  
He sent word to his Dad, and sister to not come in to the city. He could only hope to buy time now, time they would need to evacuate while he was sent to Menae.

Palaven's moons are considered top secret, there are no current maps of infrastructure available outside of the hierarchy due to the closeness of the moons to Palaven, there was a fear that the krogan would use them to retaliate after the genophage. His people had made a mess of things even then - the krogan were not all bad, nor were they all good - about the same assessment as you could make of the turians, salarians, and anyone else in the galaxy, it made Garrus wonder if there had ever been any good Reaper out there. He decided that would be the Reaper who turned itself off rather than engage in the actions of the others.

Arriving on Menae, he realized the worst - the Batarians had been hit out of the gate and the cannibals they saw on the field was all that was left of the race. Some would have said it suited the Batarians, often seen as bottom feeders because they had a strange society where slavery was common. The Batarians also resented the human expansion; Garrus had been with Shepard when they faced a Batarian on an asteroid who had said as much; slavers, pirates and terrorists in the galactic community were all looked down on. Not all Batarians were bad, and they certainly did not deserve this. No-one ever got what they deserved, good or bad. Garrus had said it to Shepard on the Collector vessel, and he had never forgotten the sight in front of them. We have to end this with us still intact. What hope will there be for this galaxy? Part of him knew, the only hope, the only person who would be able to pull off a victory would be Shepard, and last he heard, she had been relieved of duty on earth.

Good people are going to die, Garrus thought looking across the landscape of the moon, turning he saw the General he was due to meet with.,  
"Vakarian, Sir, nice to meet you. I am General Victus." the turian general offered his hand to shake, an unusual gesture and Garrus shook it warmly.  
"Please, just Vakarian, being called sir makes me think I am my father." Garrus replied assessing the man in front of him. he had heard of Victus, but never met him, his men adored him; and the high command had issues with how he got things done. He seemed perfect.  
"You are the expert on the Reapers?"  
"So they tell me... " Garrus nodded.  
"How the hell do we win this war?" the man had looked at him and sighed "Sorry, I've lost too many of my men, and we have hardly made a dent."  
"We do the only thing we can do, we fight with everything in us, not ever giving up."  
"It's going to take more than us." General Victus said "I hear the humans have a weapon of some kind, but we are not helping them..."  
"So I have heard." the two men sighed in unison and Victus slapped Garrus on the back comradely "So help me tell these boys what to hit on the monsters, and we will do the rest."

Garrus spent half the day fighting, and half teaching new arrivals which parts on a reaper troop to hit, he had to warn them that the Reapers liked to take their people and use them against them., he had yet to see what they would do to a turian but he was almost certain he would in a day or so.  
The husks were, Garrus told them., mostly humans, colonists or people the Reapers had caught before - their weakness was the legs, slow them down and pick them off; the cannibals were Batarian they liked to cannibalize their own fallen, and that means if you kill one in a good line of sight, many others will follow allowing you to take them down quickly.  
"Sir, What about the krogan?" Garrus was taken a back, they would pretty much be the single toughest mobs to fight.  
"We hope they don't get their mechanical claws into them? Look, treat it like you would any krogan, don't fight in close quarters, assume its strong, armored and tough - give it everything you have from range. They will take turians." Garrus hated having to tell them this "You need to forget who they were, what they are - remember to kill them quickly, the Reapers like us for our brains and tactical skill; take those out and the husks and cannibals will be less calculating."  
"Will they be recognizable?" another young recruit asked, his tone quiet and Garrus could see that he had seen combat already today.  
"Most likely no, just a generic turian look. " he nodded to the recruit "You will lose squad members, but those things, they are not them. Whatever we do, remember we fight for Palaven, we fight for this galaxy to be free of them."

"Good speech." the General commended him. "I could use you up on the lines if you are not busy in the morning"  
"Certainly."  
"It's good to have someone who knows the enemy." The General added, nodding "I appreciate it."  
Garrus had stopped trying to sleep, instead he allowed his mind to wander - thinking about Shepard, life on the Normandy, and worrying neither would survive the battles ahead. He had heard nothing about the Normandy leaving earth, and the reports they were getting were slim at best. He would often fall asleep with his data pad syncing the days news into some kind of search able format. Data, numbers and diagrams, Garrus could deal with those. Hope was not something he was good at, so he tried to gain facts instead.

It was morning, the middle of the first week of the campaign that Primarch Fedorian's ship was knocked down and crushed by a Reaper. Half the men on Menae had seen it, and all felt the loss. The comm tower at the main base went out while Garrus and Victus were out on another line which was about to break.  
"I'm going to go shore up that break, get that heavy reaper force the hell off my men." Victus had yelled, they were friends now - as much as you can be in a time of war, comrades in arms. Garrus nodded and moved to deal with it.  
It looked like a krogan and turrian reaper had gotten together and had a very big, grumpy child. Garrus sighed, these things were going to make life hard. He decided to shock it and try and take off it's shield, always keeping a considerable distance and a rock, between them. He had seen it charge and it was not pretty, he certainly didn't want to be on the receiving end of that.

Heavy reaper mob dealt with, Garrus headed back to the camp.  
"Commander Shepard is fixing the tower." he had heard as he headed in, _she was her_ e. He gave a hurried thank you to the spirits that kept her alive; he wasnt religious but a war has a way of making you appreciate a religious viewpoint. He knew that Shepard believed in a God and all that, he had wondered in the quiet times of this current conflict whether the two were on speaking terms or at least similar.  
"General Corinthus?" He had walked over to the man "What seems to be the trouble?"  
"Our coms were out, Primarch Fedorian is dead we are trying to find out, crap someone go and get that mob off the barricades!" He gestured to the front barricade and Garrus cocked his sniper rifle ready "I'm on it, will come back after it's done, and help find the information."

As he came back he saw her, she was standing excitedly gesturing with her gun. Garrus knew that she had just used the weapon on the husks outside the gate, but she looked both annoyed and terrifying at the same time.  
"Just get me someone, anyone, who can get me the troops we need..."  
"We are working on it Shepard." he said calmly locking his rifle as he returned.  
"Garrus!" her eyes lit up, though she tried to maintain professionalism "I.. thought you would be on Palaven."  
He smiled at her, he couldn't help it, he would follow her to the end of the world and back just to see her smile. "I'm hard to kill, you know that." he paused trying to sound more like he belonged but grasping her hands in both his own, reassuring himself she was actually there. "If we loose this moon, we may lose Palaven."  
"James" Shepard called to the young lieutenant "This is Garrus Vakarian, he helped me take down the collectors, and hes a hell of a soldier."  
"Lieutenant" Garrus nodded to the man, it was the same one who had had seen in the news vids with Shepard, he also looked to see a familiar blue faced asari with them "Liara good to see you too."  
"Garrus, it is good to see you still in one piece."  
Garrus nodded, and looked at the General who was still talking over the coms to someone in command.  
"Joker? Can this wait? we are in the middle of a war..." Shepard was talking to her pilot and Garrus was pleased to hear that it was Joker.  
"I need the Normandy ready to go if we have to bug out - no... I.. Joker... fine..."  
"Do you need me to go back to the Normandy and see if I can help?"  
"Yeah, it might be a good idea." Shepard sighed shaking her head, clearly worn out already.

After Liara left it was quiet for a few minutes.  
"Harvester!" James called, firing a few choice shots at the winged creature as it flew past. Garrus was amazed at the man actually, he was built like a krogan and had the guts to face down a Harvester. He was obviously new to them, but not new to the reaper mobs.  
"Let's go deal with whatever it dropped off." Shepard grinned up at him "Garrus you comin?"  
"Are you kidding? I am right behind you." He felt lighter than he had in months, just knowing she was there.


	12. The Way Things Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well now everyone believed in the Reapers, but there was still only one person who could actually stop them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer, my memory of events may differ from game content.
> 
> I know in game James gets the barrel of fish comment wrong, but it annoys me so I fixed it.

Menae was a mess. Garrus sighed looking up at Palaven, which was clearly visible from the moon. .  
"We know who we are after: General Victus." General Corinthus said over coms as they headed for the landing field where the harvester had dropped off reaper forces.  
"I was with him this morning." Garrus told Shepard "He is not going to be a popular choice, he likes to play fast with strategy - his men love him, command are really still not sure."  
"Will he get the job done?" Shepard replied grimly assessing her options.  
"You and I both know that conventional strategy won't win this war." he paused "And I trust him."  
"If you do, then that's good enough for me."  
"Going to sit all day or give me a hand?" James had caught his breathe and now bated the two of them.  
"On our way, just didn't want to tire you out." Shepard cracked back at him, Garrus could see a firm friendship, and a lot of hero worship from the young lieutenant.  
They managed to deal with the mobs on the air strip only to be called back to help hold the barricade.  
"Husks incoming." James called.  
"Alright, who's next?" Garrus was really feeling lighter and having fun fighting more so than he had done in the last few months. Having Shepard right beside him eased one of his main concerns - her safety and freedom.  
"Like shooting fish in a barrel!" James yelled  
"What?" Garrus was taken aback by the saying, he knew what fish were but who would shoot them in a barrel? It would just put a hole in it.  
"Human saying..."  
"Brace yourselves!"Shepard called as two large heavy reapers hit the ground.  
Garrus saw Shepard fall to the ground as the brute hit the barricade where they were standing., He exchanged a quick look with James and they were both on it, pulling it away from Shepard as she got to her feet and tore into it with her biotics. The creature, and it's brute brother were dead quickly.  
"Still no word from Victus," Shepard said into her coms "Alright I'm going on foot."  
James and Garrus had joined her where she stood, Garrus had hardly had a chance to breathe all day and it was as good as any moment.  
"Garrus, can you take me to where you last saw Victus?"  
"Sure he was heading south, to shore up a failing flank."  
"Lead on."

They made it quite a distance when Garrus happened to look up at Palaven.  
" Spirits look at Palaven, that orange glow, the big one, in the middle that's where I was born."  
"That's rough" James replied "Do you still have family there?"  
"My dad is there, and my sister." Garrus sighed pushing on "If we lose Menae, we lose Palaven. "  
"So Lola" James said, addressing Shepard much to Garrus' amusement "Do you think this meeting will work? I mean, asari, salarian? Where's the meat? Where's the krogan and batarians?"  
"It's complicated..."  
"The batarians got hit out the gate - not much left of them." Garrus stated, though he knew there was a lot left - just as a race or culture the batarians didn't have much left, something had gone horribly wrong for them. Now the Reapers were using them to bolster their forces. The same for the turians and humans.  
"What about the krogan?"  
"They still hate the turian..." Shepard answered.  
"Oh yes, they sterilized them." James was still short of breath, Garrus slowed down to accommodate him. The air on menae was not as heavy as on earth.  
"The salarians came up with it." Garrus defended slightly, well it was not really a defense as a sharing of blame.  
"And the krogan hate them both for it. So they won't be joining us." Shepard said again as they went around a hill.  
"Husks!" James called - and they fought again with husks behind and in front, finally peeling the last one off Garrus sighed as he glanced and saw another of their dreadnoughts hit the ground in flames.  
"Two, three hundred men on that one Commander?" James asked, Garrus got the impression James was a marine, the people he had met with Shepard on the Normandy had been marines, so had Shepard actually, this one seemed young but skilled, a good future in the Alliance, but still learning about aliens and different customs. Garrus hoped he would be there when James met Wrex and Grunt, that would be worth it.  
"Yeah."  
"Sad to see a beautiful ship go..."  
"yeah..." Garrus felt a sadness tinge them all, thinking of the men who had died and those who would die in this war. Think of Ashley, she would have loved hitting these things. "Let's keep going."  
Around another corner, Shepard was some distance in front of the two men when a ship spun and crashed in front of them.  
"That was too close.." Garrus said out loud, his heart pounding because he knew Shepard was in front and way too close to the ship.  
"No survivors." Shepard noted "damn."  
"Crash like that... " Garrus noted "it's expected."

That caused them all to retreat to self reflection; Garrus was trying to remember the way to the forward base where Victus would undoubtedly be. A louder crash and blood curdling cries drew their attention forward,  
"You hear that?" James called  
"Double time, I'm not losing another Primarch to the reapers!"Shepard yelled breaking into a steady jog.  
They pushed their way through the damaged section of barricade and on into the camp.  
A tough battle, and evidence of an even tougher one fought before them awaited in the main camp as they moved in. Garrus set himself up to snipe off some of the mobs that were heading in. Finally, with James tackling the brutes as they dropped in, taunting them into the open for a better shot, they cleared the area.

"General Victus? I'm Commander Shepard."  
"Ah Commander, I have heard of you, I would love to know what brings you here at a time like this."  
Victus turned to Garrus "Vakarian where did you go?"  
"I believe your exact words were 'get that brute off my men'" Garrus grinned at Victus "So I did."  
"Ah thank you then."  
"I have come to take you off world." Shepard stated, forgetting for a moment that communications had been down, and Victus had not been told of any of the news that had bought them seeking him.  
"It better be a good reason before I leave my men, before I leave my brothers and sisters in arms." Victus replied and Garrus knew him enough to know he meant it.  
"Primarch Fedorian is dead, you are the new Primarch of Palaven." Garrus interjected.  
"and we urgently need you to chair a summit and represent your people in the fight against the Reapers." Shepard added, urgency in her voice.  
"I... Im the new Primarch?" Victus was dazed, he was fairly low on the list as far as he knew. "I am to represent the turian hierarchy?"  
"Yes." Shepard said.  
"I have served the military my entire life, I don't know the first thing about diplomacy."  
"War is your resume." Shepard said "And in times like this we need leaders like that - and it might be as much a fight to bring these races together as it is to face the reapers."  
Garrus heard the strain and frustration in her voice, he already knew the council had declined to help and that earth had faced most of the damage from the Reapers - well and the batarians but that was not the question.  
"Heh I like that. You might well be right." Victus considered a moment or two before adding "Let me say goodbye to my men."

  
"Without him down here we might lose this moon..." Garrus said quietly.  
"Without him up there we might lose everything." Shepard said in reply to which Garrus nodded that he understood.  
"Look at those." He pointed to the several storey high Reapers which were currently involved in battle on the moon. "Failed C-sec officer, vigilante.. and I'm their expert?" He shook his head and turned back to Shepard "Think you can win this one Shepard?"  
"I dunno Garrus" she looked out over the damaged landscape and at Palaven burning in the background "But I'm sure going to try."  
"Well I know one thing, no-one else will even get close to pulling this off. I'm with you - if you will have me." Garrus was not sure how to ask to rejoin the Normandy, he had enough of Menae now, seeing young men he had to teach to kill being killed and returned. More bodies than casualties they said.  
Shepard stuck out her hand with a grin which is all the reward that Garrus needed.  
"Welcome aboard Garrus." Garrus shook the offered hand and they fell into a silence as they waited.  
Shepard turned then and looked up as the Primarch moved back towards them.  
"Ready to go, Primarch Victus?" She asked, emphasizing the title. Only Shepard could make the title sound like a reward, the way she did.  
"Ready." he nodded glancing at Garrus who just nodded back to him.

The Normandy had not changed a whole lot for Garrus, though as he pulled up the information on the battery he knew that he would have enough work, an engineer had gone over the guns apparently and not being familiar with the thranix cannons shifted some of his calibrations. He would have to find out which ones and happily spend the time fixing them. Better to be on the Normandy, than on the ground wishing he was here. To have Shepard close, to even be in her orbit was something he valued. Of course it also meant having to face her, and finding out where he stood. His sister would be proud of him for not sticking his foot in it the first chance he got.  
Victus called to ask about Shepard, and the krogan - apparently he had set that as a part of being in the talks, that the krogan are invited. Garrus was sincere when he replied to the Primarch:  
"You can trust Shepard Sir. " he paused and added "If anyone can get the krogan to work with us it is her, shes old friends with Urdnot Wrex the clan chief."  
"Here is hoping friendship still means something in this war.." Victus replied, sounding worn and tired much like Garrus felt; but at least for Garrus the Normandy was home.  
"I am sure it does Sir." Garrus replied hearing the door to the gun battery open and slide close.

Finished talking to Victus Garrus looked up to see a very tired Shepard leaning on the wall near where he was working.  
"I see you found something to do."  
"After what I've been through lately, calibrating a big gun is a holiday."  
"Gunna need you for more than your aim."  
"Yes but we will still need big guns, and plenty of them."  
"Can't argue with that." Shepard smiled a little, and he put down his tools and turned to speak to her properly. Suddenly his planned conversation and actions went by the way side. Spirits she was gorgeous even in the Alliance uniform she was wearing.  
"I ah guess this is where we shake hands?" that was not what he had planned "I wasn't sure about the protocols for reunions. Or if you even still liked me that way... or.."  
He was staring at his hands, all the time he had spent missing her, he felt tongue tied when she was right there in front of him.  
She silenced his otherwise awkward conversation with a kiss. A soft, amazing gesture he would not forget in a hurry.  
"That's the protocol on reunions." she said softly taking his hands "I remember our time together Garrus."  
"I seem to recall you liked scars, they have started healing properly now, I could go get new ones..." He wanted to leap and dance - she had kissed him. Her laugh was also a gift - to make Shepard smile, was his life's ambition he thought.  
She looked at his hands a strangely sad expression on her face.  
"I can't promise where this is going, not with this war, but I missed you Garrus."  
"Well, in that case. " he wrapped his hands over hers with a smile "There is one alien liaison that not even reapers will come between." she giggled at that, a beautiful noise in the mess of noises Garrus had heard lately.

  
"Speaking of liaison..."Shepard started to revert back to Comamnder - "You had a Reaper task force? How?"  
"I learn't from you- make enough noise, rattle enough windows- someone eventually comes to see what the fuss is about."  
"Heh how did you get them to listen to you?"  
"I went to my father." Garrus checked the gunnery data pad and hung it back on the wall.  
"As I recall he was ex-csec and didn't like spectres and you didn't get along too well?"  
"Pretty much the gist of it. For years I pretty much assumed he hated me. Then" Garrus paused, looked down at his feet wondering if she should know that the day she found him on Omega was the day he figured he was going to die.  
"then what Garrus?"  
"Then the day you found me on Omega, the day the gangs killed my men, I called him to say goodbye and he kept encouraging me to choose my targets and focus. I saw you, i figured you were either a ghost come to take me, or it really was you.."  
"You called to say goodbye?" she repeated "I'm sorry Garrus.. I didn't even realize it was that bad."  
"Heh it isn't now but it did make it easier to settle things and tell him everything that happened, from Sovereign and onwards."  
"Most of that story... I'd hesitate believing it myself but I was there."  
"I know. I felt insane telling it, he made his diagrams and charts and could see the connections. It is what he used to do in c-sec; and at the end he could see the thing we have been saying for years. The Reapers were coming. "  
"Someone finally believed you?" Shepard was shocked.  
"Not just believed, he took it to the Primarch... well the old Primarch.. he was a friend of the families." Garus shrugged "The Primarch was not as convinced, but Dad kept asking so I got a task force - and an office."  
"I like his style." Shepard nodded. "What did you do with it?"  
"As much as I could get away with, and a little more. We shored up communications for the fleet, we stockpiled extra supplies in colonies. "  
"Think it helped?"  
"I'd like to hope it bought our fleet more time. Won't know til we are done."  
"Good, I am glad someone believed you." Shepard nodded and Garrus could tell something bothered her.  
"What's eating you Shepard?"  
"When we left earth, I could hear people screaming - we left a lot of people to die." she paused "If they had listened to me, if they had some idea of how serious this all was ..."  
"It isn't an easy thing to see coming." Garrus knew firsthand now what that was like "and it has never been a win knowing in advance for you."  
"Yeah, and now they want us to fix it."  
"Well, if it gets hard and it will, just remember - we are in this together." Garrus could see something or someone else was bothering her but he had to let it go, it would sort itself out soon enough. He knew Kaidan Alenko had been hurt on their way out of the Sol system, on Mars by Cerberus. He also knew that if he talked to Liara he would find out more without having to bother Shepard.  
"Well, don't go too far Garrus, we have a lot of catching up to do." Shepard said her smile possessive and flirty. Again Garrus wanted to dance around and whoop for joy but he calmly nodded adding  
"And I have the good stuff this time - there are some perks of being an Advisor."


	13. In for a Penny..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to facilitate an alliance, you need to be fully committed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The saying goes: in for a penny, in for a pound. Basically if you are in for a small amount, you may as well go the whole way. (UK saying used in Australia however)
> 
> Garrus buys Shepard models, leaving them on her desk in kit form so she can relax with something that isn't about her crew or the Galaxy. He has been doing this even before any relationship started.

With the Primarch on board, they headed back to the citadel to check in with a few people. Garrus took the time to go do some shopping, muttering about the availability of turian food on the Normandy. He found himself looking at the gift shop again for models he could buy Shepard.  
"Ok so I will have one of those." he said gesturing to the small kodiak model "Oh and one of those - citadel models."  
He turned to see Joker sitting on one of the benches with Edi (now wearing a body of some kind he was told) not far away watching people. Garrus thought he would see how Joker was doing.  
"Hi Joker."  
"Garrus, look at this place, you would never believe there is a war on."  
"They always kept galactic fighting away from here, but it will reach them soon enough."  
"What are you buying?"  
"Models." Garrus coughed "They are for Shepard."  
"I wondered how she got all of those." Joker frowned at him "wait how long have you been getting those for her?"  
"A couple here and there, over the years, leaving them on her desk when she isn't looking." Garrus shrugged "Gives her something to focus on other than the rest of us."  
"True, no-one thought to question where they came from though." Joker nodded "How have things been in the last what six months?"  
"Nasty. Certainly not like this." Garrus gestured around "At least though you can still get supplies here, the Normandy mess is well stocked but with human food. Thought I 'd grab some turian food to make both the Primarch and myself a lot more comfortable."  
"Yeah not enough time to really think about those things, we left earth pretty quickly."  
"I heard." Garrus sat down "Kaidan was hurt?"  
"Yeah Alenko took a cyborg to the face, it was kind of messy, very touch and go - hear hes making a recovery if you wanted to visit him."  
"Thane's around here too someplace." Garrus nodded "Not for long though he was pretty sick last I heard."  
"This must be crazy for him." Joker nodded "Can't imagine being able to fight and not at the same time."  
"I hear they had grounded you before the call from Cerberus though.." Garrus noted  
"They aren't always smart. If they were, we wouldn't be trying to be diplomatic now, it would have all been done."  
"War is never easy. Even if you saw it coming." Garrus said gesturing at the mixed crowed "Least we can do is support Shepard through all of ... this."  
"Absolutely." Joker looked up the steps to the left "If you mean to keep your secret about the models I'd go now... Shepard is heading this way."

Garrus stashed his shopping back on the Normandy and was about to head for the hospital to visit Kaidan when he saw a message on his data pad. It was from the young Major who had promised to look into where his father and sister were, there was no news. Garrus was silently staring at it for a moment and then turned and left the ship. A break, even visiting sick friends would be better than having to deal with his own thoughts.  
"Ah I came to see Kaidan Alenko, I believe hes in ICU?" Garrus asked the nurse at the desk.  
"Garrus Vakarian!" a familiar female voice called "Oh my how good it is to see you! I thought.. well.."  
"Dr Michelle!" He nodded to the woman, his friends had teased him once that she had a crush on him, and he had always been very careful of how he appeared to her. "Nice to see you too."  
"Are you here to see Major Alenko?"  
"Major?" Garrus was surprised, Alenko had been promoted, again."He was Staff Commander last I heard from him. Sorry, yes I am here to see him if I can."  
"Of course, hes awake and i think he's pretty bored." she led him to the room where Kaidan was lying in a bed with monitors attached to his wrist and chest.

"Garrus!" Kaidan was pleased to see him, even if it was just a brief visit "Man it is good to see someone other than the doctors."  
"I thought Shepard stopped by?" Garrus was sure she had in fact stopped in to see Kaidan before doing anything else.  
"She did, but that must have been hours ago."  
"Poor you. All the female doctors around too." Garrus teased gently.  
"Ha... how's things, are you on the Normandy?"  
"As soon as they suggested I return I was there."  
"Good keep an eye on Shepard for me." Kaidan seriously said "I screwed things up on mars."  
"Again?"  
"Again." Kaidan verified "I guess having seen what happened on earth, I should have been more.. forgiving."  
"Yeah, I heard about Earth, I'm sorry."  
"We will fight... look at me I'm tied up in this rotten bed and talking about getting out and beating on Reapers."  
"No good being injured in this one Kaidan, gotta be well enough to tackle a krogan."  
"Ah hell, they got those too?"  
"Yeah. Batarians, krogan, turian, human, I am going to hate seeing what they do to the Asari."  
"Or if they get the Salarians... or hanar... stars think what they could do with the hanar..."  
"Lets hope they don't for many reasons." Garrus noted "Besides war, any other good topics to talk about. Hows your family?"  
"They were headed out of Vancouver the day of the attack, haven't heard from them since, You?"  
"Father and sister still on Palaven, haven't heard from them long enough."  
"Sorry Garrus. Guess we will hope for a lot of good family reunions."  
"What about Shepard?" Garrus asked then "How was she when you saw her?"  
"Ah she told me about you."  
"I told you about me." Garrus noted relieved that Shepard had mentioned something.  
"I know. I just..."  
"You hoped?"  
"Yeah. Suitably awkward topic eh?"  
"Seems we are both skilled at sticking our feet in it." Garrus said the thought that Shepard had claimed him to Kaidan somehow made him lighter on the subject.  
"Something like that. Garrus can I ask you something?"  
"Sure."  
"Does Shepard blame herself for what happened on mars?"  
"Not to me, though I think it might well be what was bothering her."  
Kaidan sighed in reply and shook his head.  
"There isn't any need for her to do that, I leaped in, she just,.."  
"She told me you saved Liara and her from a cybernetic." Garrus replied then there was a long silence.  
"Guess you better get back?" Kaidan asked  
"Yeah, exciting trip with diplomats.. I'm thinking i will hide in the gun battery.,"  
"I always wondered why you spent so much time down there, now I know.. "Kaidan laughed "Hey Garrus, look after her ok?"

Back on the Normandy, the crew returned from the mini shore leave and took position ready to become the Alliance's foremost diplomatic vessel. Garrus was asked by the Primarch how much diplomatic head butting would there be. To which Garrus replied by handing the Primarch some turian brandy and telling him it would be best to approach calmly.

"Garrus, be ready to go if we need to head to a planet soon." Shepard said coming into the battery, "I am not looking forward to this."  
"Good luck in there." Garrus had said "Don't forget to duck."  
"Says someone for whom take cover means aim up a good shot. " Shepard laughed as she left to go change into an official uniform so she could better represent the Alliance.

As expected the salaraian Dalatrass was not impressed with the krogan inclusion. She refused to treat Wrex with respect, which Shepard told Garrus was more annoying than anything else. An hour or two later, Garrus got the call from James to suit up for heading down to Sur'Kesh. Wrex being an old friend of the Normandy crew was happy to see Garrus.  
"These females might be our only chance to save our race." Wrex had been saying to Shepard, Garrus had stepped in and added  
"We'll get the females back Wrex, you have waited long enough for a cure." Garrus shook the krogans hand, the whole time James looked completely confused.  
"Thanks for the assist Garrus."  
"I figured you had gone soft sitting on your throne." Garrus teased the krogan, they had become good friends on the first Normandy, and it was an odd thing because both of their cultures claimed to hate each other.

Sur' Kesh was pretty enough if a bit wet and mild for Garrus' liking. They had some kind of trouble landing, which sent Wrex leaping out of the shuttle.  
"Wrex..." Shepard had yelled at him with no real results. The krogan had landed as heavily as possible, and the salarian response was quick.  
"I would like to avoid a diplomatic incident." Shepard declared as she, James and Garrus stepped down from the shuttle behind Wrex.  
"As would I. Contain your companion please."  
Contain?? Wrex? Garrus wondered how Shepard was going to talk him down this time.  
"Wrex, let me handle this." Shepard said as they were escorted down the steps.  
"It's not right Shepard, I should be going..."   
"Let's take one war at a time okay? It won't be long now."Shepard half grinned in reply.  
In the background Garrus heard an alert faintly in the distance.  
"So Wrex you mentioned reaper forces are on Tuchanka?" Shepard was saying when Garrus lost track of the conversation enough to hear another alert.  
"It's our pile of radioactive rock, and we will fight to the last krogan to keep it that way.." Wrex was saying  
"radio- active?" Garrus couldnt help but quip.  
"I had to go make friends with the one turian who thinks hes funny."  
"Imagine how I feel, I am supposed to hate krogan and along you came with your charming ways." Garrus laughed back at the krogan, the salarians were looking on confused. It was almost too perfect a situation for Garrus to make jokes in.  
"I could throw a few salarian off a cliff if that would help." Wrex offered, making the two salarian guards frown. "Or cook a few for lunch?"  
Shepard grimaced at them for being silly.  
"Hey maybe you and I can go toe to toe, you know for fun" James was saying to Wrex, James was a big guy but Garrus already knew the krogan could outmatch him.  
"Did Shepard ever tell you about the time we almost went toe to toe for real? Ah Virmire... good times."  
"Heh, the best..." Garrus remembered Ash and Kaidan being especially concerned about the danger Wrex posed to Shepard. Garrus had heard them talking on the ship, and knew Shepard had earned the respect of the krogan and that went a long way. She had also proved herself to be an equal in strength with Grunts rite of passage.  
"Are the krogan ready to fight reapers?" Shepard looked serious and concerned.  
"For too long my people have been selling themselves out as mercenaries. Now we can get back to doing what krogan do best - saving everyone else from big scary monsters."  
"Never going to let us forget the Rachni wars are you?" Garrus said as he stood next to Wrex.  
"Well, last time I was on the citadel they didn't have a giant statue of you - ha!" Wrex grinned as only a krogan can and flipped his head back. Garrus swore if he had been human, Wrex would have done a hair flip, similar to how Garrus had seen women do in videos.  
"Alright. We will get going and ..." an alert was definitely sounding now, and Shepard frowned "Lets go, get this done."  
They entered the lift to louder alerts.  
"This isn't good." Garrus stated unhooking his rifle and priming it ready. James looked at him nodded and followed suit being ready was part of the drill at the moment. The alerts took on the sinister glow of red flashing lights when they reached the bottom level.  
'Be alert" Shepard said quietly.  
Looking over the room Garrus and Shepard both gasped "Mordin?"  
"Shepard, Surprise expected." Mordin flashed a grin at Shepard.  
"You're back with STG?" Garrus asked in shock.  
"Special consultant. It had to be me, someone else might have got it wrong." he paused and put his hand up conspiratorially "told clan chief of females."  
"You were Wrex's inside source?" Shepard replied quietly to which Mordin nodded.  
"Can we see the females?"  
"Only one survived." Mordin paused before the closed chamber where four more bodies lay.  
"You did what you could Mordin." Shepard said gently, as the salarian was affected by the sight.  
"Arrived too late. Female best hope for krogan. Alarms not normal, is possible Cerberus oppose krogan release. We must hurry." He nodded towards the release station and quarantine.  
The poor salarian on the station shook his head at Mordin. "We are under attack, protocol says..."  
Mordin lifted his omnitool and sent a shock into him "Objection noted, now release krogan.".  
"Meet me on next level Shepard."

They were near the lift when it stopped working, as the tech got the door open James let out a loud yell  
"Bomb!"  
Garrus was clear, James landed hard and Shepard got a combination of the blast and dodging out of the area. It was too close but Garrus knew better than to ask about her being okay.  
"Is there another door?" she called  
"Emergency exit is the other end, I can open the door."  
"Good. Lets go."

"Shepard, it's Wrex, I borrowed the shuttle - get the females and meet me out here."  
"Only one survived Wrex." Shepard told him, carefully delivering the news.  
"Then get on it Shepard!"

They came around the corner to hear Mordin yelling "Cerberus is targeting krogan, need help, containment barrier not intended for direct fire."  
"We are on our way Mordin." Shepard said calmly.  
The whole event, Cerberus being involved, went faster than Garrus anticipated. He was glad of the heat detection in his eye piece which allowed him to detect them through the smoke they liked to throw up.  
In the end, after dealing with a large, over-armored ATLAS the three of them, as well as Wrex and Mordin stood waiting for the female krogan to step out of the quarantine bay.

When they were finally safe on the Normandy, Garrus checked in with Shepard.  
"How are you?"  
"Yeah that was a hairy one - why on earth did Cerberus show up?"  
"Maybe they are more afraid we will succeed united than anything else." Garrus replied thoughtfully "Or they just like to crash a decent party I am not sure."  
"Yeah hope they don't crash too many."Shepard replied "Not sure I can handle being that close to their bombs."  
"Was wondering how your ears were after that?"  
"More worried about my back - but in the end it's what medi gel is for and I guess I can look into it all after we are done." she grimaced at Garrus. " I think James got a shock."  
"He has good reactions though."Garrus approved "I'd take him on any fight - hes young and reckless but with good skills"  
"Jealous of the youth Garrus?" Shepard teased.  
"Do I need to be?" Garrus laughed giving her a gentle hug. "Remember to take care of yourself Shepard, cant afford to try and do this without you."

The next conversation in the diplomats room was about curing the Genophage. The turian distributed salarian made genetic virus had essentially sterilised the krogan. Garrus was aware that Wrex was an anomaly - a krogan who could control his temper, see reason, and make peace. Yet he also knew that both human and turian history contained times when their people were tribal, and violent. There was hope for the korgan and they deserved a chance.  
He went to see Mordin and met Eve, the name that Mordin had given to the female krogan, kind of an unofficial title as it was - based on human mythology.  
"Garrus not too bad. A little violent. Aware krogan female like scars." Garrus caught the tale end of the conversation.  
"Ahem... Mordin I hope you are not trying to marry me off." He said to the doctor "You do know I am a taken man."  
"Was not sure, Shepard did not say." Mordin shrugged as Garrus covered his eyes and groaned.  
"Hi, I'm Garrus Vakarian, just wanted to know how you were doing after Sur'kesh?"  
"I am fine."Eve eyed him carefully "I take it by 'taken man' you mean you are with Shepard.?  
"I think, its complicated."Garrus replied with a sort of half shrug.  
"She needs someone to take care of her. All women do." Eve replied "She carries a lot on her shoulders for one so young."  
"Yeah, I have been trying to help with that." Garrus nodded, "She will save this galaxy even if she has to drag half of it kicking and screaming into line - but I hope I can stop her doing that at the cost of herself."  
"I can see why Wrex respects you both." Eve nodded with what passed for a smile from a krogan.  
"Nice to have met you." Garrus shook her hand.


	14. In For a Pound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changing the galaxy one planet at a time? Only something Shepard could do... well changing history at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer: this is my interpretation your game will not play this way.  
> 'In for a penny in for a pound' is a saying from I don't know where exactly, I know it was/is used in Australia - basically it means to go all in.

 Garrus admired the tenacity with which Wrex had handled the negotiations. He knew the krogan were in serious trouble if left unassisted the population was in a steady decline. He wondered though if they had a chance what the krogan would do. His ability to see both sides of it all seemed to make him wonder at the things that he had seen of the krogan over time - he had met educated well spoken krogan who did not approve of violence, he had met their direct opposite. Then again he had met humans, turians and any other race you could think of who were the same way. He remembered that Shepard had agreed with legion saying that every species should decide their own fate - the turian and salarian had essentially been deciding the krogan's fate for a long time - too long. He knew the salarian Dalatrass was putting pressure on Shepard to not help; but he also knew Shepard put friendship above and beyond anything the salarian might have offered.

 Having freed the female krogan, and taking her and Mordin on board, a few side missions and they were talking about curing the genophage. It was no surprise that Shepard was rewriting history, she had made enough of it and none because she believed she was superior; Shepard was just herself; everything she did was to help others. She was a great believer in choice - he had seen her reaction to reprogramming the geth, forcing them back in line, which she said no to; he had also seen it with the way she had let Kaidan walk away. Garrus would have hit him at very least, still it had become his win in the end.

 Curing the genophage was not going to be easy - then again, Garrus mused, what had been in this war? Mordin was certain that he could do it, had thought about how and had a plan. The problem? There was a large Reaper in the way, and it was doing something to the dispersal tower - possibly intending to poison the planet. Perhaps they realized that without the krogan the fight would be shorter. Certainly they had begun landing troops there as Wrex had said.  They decided on an alternate plan involving a squad of turians flying in to distract the  Reaper while the krogan hit it from the ground. It was a good plan if they could time their arrivals together.

What was it Shepard said? A plan always changes when faced with the enemy? Or something like that. Regardless three things were in their way - they had landed at an area that Wrex explained was sacred to his people; and found it was already over run with husks. They fought them back, around where they had landed Mordin and Eve, but the krogan clans who were there before them took on the bulk of the incoming reaper forces.

 It was Mordin who gave the krogan clans a test - a salarian he was far from their favourite person to have at a time like this. Wrex stood in the face of the others to say he trusted him. Weapons were drawn and it looked like it might get ugly.  
Then Eve, the female krogan, stepped up and told the men to get to fighting what they needed to fight instead of each other. Well it was a bit more of a speech than that but at the same time it seemed wise not to press the issue since it worked. The time it took though, meant there was little margin for error getting to the Reaper to distract it and hit it.

In the truck, Shepard revealed that the Dalatrass had tried to make a deal. Mordin nodded, he knew what had to be done to fix the cure to make it work. He was determined to fix the genophage now.  
They did not make it in time the road was damaged and the scouts were poking at it to see if it was strong enough to force their way across but, the air strike was in front of them, and they had to call them off - get them away from the Reaper and to a safe distance.  Suddenly the Reaper clipped one of the ships with it's laser and sent it off course.

"Shit!" James yelled, dodging to the side of the road with Shepard and Garrus not far behind as the pilot it failed to pull back up and crashed into the road, bouncing off some of the trucks. Shepard, James and Garrus had gotten out to see what was wrong, Shepard yelled at Wrex to keep going. Which left them on foot - a situation which was not something Garrus was looking forward to.  
"Tunnel Shepard, might get us off here.." Garrus pointed, at least if they were out of the open it wouldn't be so easy to target them. 

 The tunnel proved to be an old entrance to an even older city.  
"Wow I guess the krogan could paint once..." James was admiring  the art on the wall. It was a sign that the krogan were once more advanced than they were now. Not as tribal, maybe, certainly rich in culture.  
"Nuclear war has a way of making people forget these things." Garrus noted as Shepard led them through another doorway.  
"Did you feel that?" James asked sharply as the ground moved.  
"Wrex..."Shepard was on the radio "Did you feel an earthquake?"  
"No....get out of there Shepard, we need to pick you up and..."  
"I don't know where I am!" she said irritable now "It's not as much ruin as the rest and.."  
"That is the city of the ancients, Commander." Eve added in "It is said Kalros, the mother of all thresher maw lives there, which ..."

"Feel it?" Garrus this time.  
"Yeah if that's not an earthquake then its..."  
"If they name it, its big." Garrus noted "We should probably keep moving."  
"That's what's crawling around down here?" James pointed to a wall with a picture of a thresher maw on it.   
"Looks like it, lets... keep moving." Garrus insisted, if that thing was really making the ground around them shake it was good to not stand still for snack time.

They saw rachni bodies - reaper re-purposed rachni -  and that was enough to confirm that the ones they had seen on the planet while helping some krogan were not an isolated incident but rather a plan of the Reapers to cause havoc.

They eventually made it to daylight. What they saw was running water, plants - green plants and cracks of life in the ruins. Garrus was shocked.   
"Seems this place isn't completely dead. We see plants... and water.."  
"What you see, is hope." the female krogan replied before Wrex grabbed the radio again  
"There is a bridge up ahead, see if you can get to it and we will pick you up." a pause and then clearly over the radio came Wrex's response to the Thresher maw. "Argh Kalros."

More reaper troops arrived, Garrus kind of knew they would - it isn't a party without shooting someone. 

They made it to the bridge, dodged Kalros and managed to get across into what looked like a stadium entrance. The shroud - the name given to the tower used to disperse particles intended to heal the atmosphere - was in the center of the area.  
"Hurry it up Shepard.." Wrex boomed through the radio. "Theres some crazy idea of using the thresher maw...  
"Little busy here Wrex..." Shepard replied as they dispatched another group of husks.  
Garrus took position and managed to keep most of them clear of James and Shepard who were fighting forward of where he had set up.  
"You know Wrex is probably enjoying this." Garrus commented as he caught up again.  
Half way across the statue laden area Mordin came on the radio:  
"Still alive Shepard?" Mordin asked  
"Doing what we can. You?"  
"Alive. Entertained. Kalros territorial instincts confirmed."  
"Tell me something I don't know." Wrex responded.  
"Metal in truck an excellent supplement thresher maw diet."

James, Shepard and Garrus jumped down off the area and made it to the truck. Behind them Wreave had parked a distance away looking for the thresher maw. Unfortunately, Kalros had a need for a snack and the truck Wreave was in was soon taken underground, gone completely.  
"Ouch, don't think we want to hang around" Garrus commented.,  
"Let's go Wrex we're in." Shepard yelled forward for Wrex.   
At the tower they had excited the truck and James had looked up, it was not one of the biggest Reapers, but it was significant compared to the three of them.   
"I know we have done the impossible before, but this... I dunno." Garrus was cautiously summing up the situation.   
"We have to." Wrex stated "We need this cure."  
"Well." Shepard looked up at the monster in front of them. "We made it through the Omega 4 relay, how hard can this be?"  
"Shepard before you go..." Wrex said, an uncharacteristic catch in his voice. "I wanted you to know you have been like a sister to me, and a friend to the krogan race. After today, the name Shepard will mean warrior to the krogan. Now lets get out there and show them why."

It seemed simple enough of a plan - distract the reaper, drop the maw hammers and hope to hell the thresher did the rest. They ran up the steps to go  across a bridge when the Reaper noticed them. It turned and lined a direct shot to the bridge they were on. They fell hard on the rubble underneath.   
"Everyone okay?" Shepard called as she checked her weapons.  
"Just the usual scratches and bumps." Garrus replied once he caught his breath.   
"I just got hit by a reaper!" James sounded horrified.   
"Call it practice." Shepard said "Now keep to cover, this is going to be tricky."  
They ran the gauntlet of Reaper laser  and rubble until a very familiar sound rode over the Reaper's noise. The turian wing of fighters had returned to help.  
Somehow, dodging the brutes and keeping their attention off of Shepard, they got the maw hammers working.   
"Go to the truck, I will take care of the cure." Shepard said as they got the last hammer pounding and Kalros was definitely on her way.

They waited at the truck, first Eve made it back safely, with Wrex not far behind her. With what Garrus had seen of the tower, and how unstable it was he was worried for Shepard.  It was Mordin who didn't walk back with Shepard.  Much to everyone's surprise  It subdued the victory to some degree. His sacrifice had save da race, and Garrus knew that he would not have let anyone else take his place, Mordin had a fine sense of honor and determination. It was fitting that they remember him for that. _In for a penny, in for a pound Shepard had said when discussing the genophage cure - Mordin had agreed, neither were willing to go only half way._

Shepard was standing by the table in the war room - the primarch having left a few minutes before after promising her that he would send ships, and dry dock ships to help the Alliance build the crucible. Garrus had never seen her this tired, he was worried, he knew her sleep had been light and uneasy,  but he also knew that she needed to sleep - sleep was important to a soldier it was never good to run on a tired brain.  
"You have had a rough day what with Mordin dying and all, you look almost done."  
"I will sleep when I'm dead."  
"You really do need to.. don't worry, I know where you sleep.. "he furnished the sentence with a suggestive look and Shepard laughed at him.  
"Fine, if you insist."  
"I do." Garrus nodded.  
"One condition.. when I wake up.. it would be good to have you there."  
"I can do that. Now sleep time Shepard,"

She obediently trudged off up to her quarters, Garrus did the few things he absolutely had to and followed her to find her asleep on her lounge. He laughed quietly and moved her to the bed - she didn't stir once, though he knew enough to know she was dreaming.  
"Rest up Shepard." He whispered hoping it wasn't one of the nightmares she had been having lately.

 

 


	15. When I Wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it is good to just have someone there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written as a special Valentines thing, that is I wrote this one the day before Valentines Day and the next two chapters also. Love is such fun.

 Shepard's quarters were cool and quiet, and Garrus kind of enjoyed that - aside from the very fact that it was Shepard's quarters.  The empty fish tank always puzzled him, but he knew Shepard was always too busy to go shop for pets - though she had in a fit of something bought a space hamster. It was cute enough he supposed if you liked little things like that. Anything that made Shepard happy was worth it. That is why he was here now sitting with his feet up on the coffee table and his data pad in front of him. She had asked him to be here when she woke up, so he was determined to do just that.

He was reading up on human customs, figuring it was worth the research, plus there was something about special days that humans seemed to enjoy. Today Joker had sent him information on Valentines day, apparently it was a day for lovers who exchanged gifts or went on a date. He had to then look up what a date was.

Shepard stirred then, sitting up quickly which told Garrus she had one of those dreams again. He decided on distraction as a means to cheer her up.  
"Hey there." He said as she turned to see him sitting on the lounge. "So Im reading more about human customs, and I was given a file on.." he made a big show of looking at it "dating? and Valentines day?""You really research everything?"  Shepard responded, he couldn't tell if she was annoyed or not.  
"I..." he paused he could crack a joke or he could be honest, and Shepard deserved to know her place with him."I have never been so concerned with making things go right. You are worth so much more than anything to me, and I don't want to screw it up."  
Jo came over to where he was sitting and slid down onto the seat beside him.  
"What have you found? and more importantly who gave you the information?"   
"Ah my source is confidential."   
"Joker then."   
"I cant say." Garrus laughed, there was no keeping secrets from her.  
"Definitely Joker. Dates huh?"  
"We never did go on one, between collectors and reapers it just doesn't seem to have worked." Garrus sighed "And now you know I don't really understand it all - turians are very pragmatic about these kinds of things."  
"We could next time we are free for shore leave." Shepard stretched "You know go on a date, pretend we just met."  
"Pretend?"  Garrus was distracted by her long legs "It is going to be hard to pretend that I don't  know you."  
"Distracted Garrus?" She giggled as she sat on his lap and ran her hand softly along his mandible.  
"Just a little." He grinned at her, in his spare time on shore leaves past he had taken up learning proper dancing - it was an odd choice for a turian, but it was helping him learn to duck and roll better in the field and it might just serve as a shock for Shepard. A perfect first date? Sweep her off her feet? Isn't that what Joker always said he should do?

"Do you even know how to introduce yourself to a woman?" Shepard asked raising her eyebrow skeptically.  
"You don't think I expertly said yes to you?"Garrus pointed out, he was well aware of his faults and tripping over his words was clearly one of them.  
"Well you did say cross-species..." Shepard laughed "Actually not the most awkward romantic moment I've ever had but pretty close."  
"Not the most awkward? Don't tell me you had an elcor ask you out?"  
"No, humans can screw things up all on their own. Don't need any of the cross-species stuff to make it confusing."  
"That is... strangely comforting."   
"Garrus," Shepard leaned forward her forehead on his "Don't worry so much, we will sort ourselves out eventually."  
"Speaking of which... I had a chat with Kaidan last time we were on the Citadel." Garrus decided awkward might well be well, you know, awkward.  
"Oh." Shepard moved to sit next to him.  
"He still loves you Shepard." Garrus said it quietly.   
"I know. Its..." she closed her eyes "complicated."  
"Do you need time to... well figure us out?"  
"Garrus..." he could see her trying to figure things out right then and there and he shook his head.  
"Well, here's the thing Shepard, you can't make these choices in an instance. My Dad told me, relationships are high stakes, you need to be sure."  
"I know."  
"If it helps, I am sure. " he nuzzled her forehead with his chin, she had hidden behind her hands when when he asked if she needed time. "And I am sure I can give you the time to work things out."  
"Will you hate me if I ask Kaidan to come back to the Normandy?"  
"No." Garrus shook his head "I don't know how to hate you Jo, there is nothing you can do that would change that. I like Kaidan, and meeting the Reapers without the full band would be wrong..."  
"Yeah." She said pensively "I miss Ash too."  
"Just take the time to sort everything out, then we can worry about us."  
"Okay. I can do that." she nodded "I forget sometimes that there might be something after this war, it feels like I have been fighting it forever."  
"Life's never been easy for you Jo, you are allowed to dream about a future." Garrus said gently   
"Me? A house and kids eh?"  
"Who knows" Garrus laughed "You could fit quite a lot on the Normandy."  
"Oh thats a point, hm."Shepard pretended to ponder the information.  
"

Shepard?" Joker's voice interrupted them  
"Problem?"  
"Heading into the Citadel not getting a response, a malfunction or something  Come down here in case we need to flash credentials."   
"My cue to go back to the guns" Garrus nodded "I hope you got some rest Shepard."  
"Yes Sir." She grinned as she ducked into the bathroom.  
"You know where to find me." Garrus said by way of goodbye.

 


	16. The Cerberus Interuption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cerberus is going after the Citadel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual spoiler warning, also the usual disclaimer on events and conversations not being recalled correctly.

"What do you know?" Shepard said as she came into the flight deck.  
"No response. I've tried a few times now." Joker frowned and leaned into the buttons in front of him as he began to search different frequencies. "Let me check emergency frequencies... ah hi.. yeah this is Joker... really?"  
"What have we got?"  
"Thane, he says you better hear this."  
  
"Shepard?"  
"Thane, what's going on?"  
"Shepard, Cerberus has taken over the station." Thane sounded winded as he paused for breath.  
"Are you safe? What about Kaidan?"  
"I'm in a store front on the presidium, left the hospital when commandos showed up. We split up - Kaidan went to protect the council  I am heading for the C-sec headquarters..."  
"Why there?  
"If Cerberus has the headquarters they have the station - c-sec is running blind without it's systems and cannot respond."   
"Okay we will go there then." Shepard nodded to Joker "Thane, try and catch up with us at the headquarters. Joker, get us as close as you can and we will deploy in the shuttle."  
"Aye aye." Joker nodded.

 "Garrus, James" Shepard used the intercom to call James up "Suit up, we've gotta save this station."  
When Garrus joined her in the armory, Shepard was muttering that she hadn't saved the station to see it fall now. Garrus knew she was pissed at Cerberus, and had been since they drew their line in this war. "Lets go. " Garrus nodded to James as he joined them. Shepard gave them a brief run down of what Thane had told her, and warned them that they would be going in with an unknown situation and hot."Let the fun begin." James said as they touched down.   
The fight was sharp and brutal, they cleared the landing area and Garrus could see that the head of C-sec Commander Bailey was down by the door. It was not looking good when Cerberus was there as well - shot from behind Bailey slumped forward.   
"Shepard we need to get up there." Garrus yelled desperately. He might not ever have enjoyed his work with C-sec but damn it, they were his friends. Not to mention allowing Cerberus to take over the station was not what they wanted - it amounted to handing it to the Reapers and they didn't fight Sovereign for nothing.  
" Push ahead, keep cover." Shepard yelled and James leapt a barricade and took aim at the Cerberus guy standing over Bailey. Garrus was glad the young lieutenant was a good shot, Bailey managed to drag himself off to the side of the door.  
" Above Shepard!" Garrus called seeing the Cerberus guys dropping in from the floor above. They really were throwing a lot of men into this fight, why did they want the station anyhow?  
It seemed a bad time to ask them, and Garrus did not anticipate capturing any of them alive. It was clear they had been planning the exercise for some time, and had inside help. 

Setting himself up he managed to make jumping from the second floor a bad plan as he picked off his targets carefully. Shepard pushed her way up the steps to Bailey while James cleared them from the side. Finally they were able to help Bailey to his feet.

The battle for the citadel was cruel, with a large number of civilians caught in the cross fire and a good dent in C-sec numbers as well. The end result was not a good day. A new unnamed enemy in the form of an assassin, the human councilor dead, Thane injured which hurried his death, and an awkward stand off with Kaidan. Garrus had always known how Thane felt about Shepard, and he knew he did not begrudge the drell a proper goodbye. Just as Garrus got back to the relative sanity of the ship and the forward battery, he saw a message on his terminal. It was from Thane.

_Garrus,  
You have been as a brother in the time I have known you, I wish there was easier ways to say goodbye. My last prayer will be for her, it is a selfish wish perhaps that you and she would outlast this war, and that time would fade the hurt of losing people you care for and keep the good memories. Love her all you can, she gives more to all of us than she ought.  
Fight well. Thane_

 Garrus felt the loss of a friend, he asked Edi to print his name for the wall. Rest in peace Thane, he thought as he placed the drell's name on the board. 

Shepard returned to the ship quietly, Kaidan joining them as well which Garrus appreciated on one hand and disliked on  another. Damn if he wasn't just a bit jealous of the human. Kaidan had a lot going for him, the fact he was human was one  very big thing. Garrus knew Shepard had said she was over Kaidan but still, watching them talk so easily bothered him.  
He retreated to the mess and found James cooking something there.  
"What are you making?"Garrus had to ask, an assortment of spices were assaulting his nose.   
"Huh oh, human food called chilli, my aunt used to make it."   
"Usually made with varren meat?"   
"That's organic varren - and no but its what we have."  James continued stirring his cooking. "Takes a brave man to eat my aunt's chilli; she used to make it hot!"   
"I don't mind heat"Garrus noted " But that stuff smells like it would clean your insides."

Garrus retreated to his space and made himself eat. He tried not to think of how Shepard had been so comfortable around Kaidan, but it sat at the edges of his mind. He had to give her time, and space and then honor the decision she made. To be fair it had been a very long day - maybe the galaxy would look better in the morning. 

 

 

 


	17. A little thing called Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just need to rise above it all .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of doing the first date as per the DLC for Citadel but decided that I wasn't going to. However, for your personal enjoyment - search Youtube for a video of Garrus' date with Shepard in the DLC. REALLY worth seeing Garrus dancing.

 Garrus dragged his hand across his face, he had been calibrating this gun for hours, Joker had said they were headed to the citadel - time for some shore leave at last. He had asked Shepard to meet him near some shuttles; and he hoped he could keep his cool this time. He intended to ask her if they were.. well if it was a they, and an us.. he needed to know because he had been driving himself crazy with the whole jealous thing.

It never ceased to amaze Garrus how busy the Citadel had gotten in the short time since the Cerberus attack granted there were refugees and soldiers everywhere but also just ordinary people, standing looking shocked at the carnage. It bothered him that it no longer shocked him that much, he had been a soldier too long to not calculate numbers and mechanics, thinking how to save the lives left rather than focusing on the lost. It was clear the war was taking a toll on all of them, and Garrus knew he needed a break. He decided that there was one thing he had wanted to do for a long time - since working on the Presidium he had wanted to see what it was like above it, on top of one of the walks.

He grinned to himself because he knew the view would be brilliant for him to talk to Shepard. He knew she needed a break just as much as the rest.  He waited patiently by the cars.  
"Garrus..." she waved as she came out the elevator right next to him, she was dressed casually - thankfully because there was sure to be some wind up there.   
"Glad you could make it Shepard." Garrus nodded to the guard who was staring at them. "I was trying to think of things we could do that doesn't include Reapers of any kind..."  
"We could try the bar, I don"t think they have hit that yet."  
"I have already scoped that out, but then I thought, if this was our last day alive what would I like to do?" He opened the door for her on the rental car next to him.  
"Oh so where are we going?"  
"Somewhere we are not supposed to."  
"Some things, never change!" Shepard laughed she was watching him intently.  
"What about you Shepard, any grand schemes for the last day?"  
"I've woken up next to a turian." she replied with a cheeky grin.   
"Still  trying to make me blush?"  
"Til it works." she shifted in her seat "so what's your one thing?"  
"The whole time I worked at c-sec there was this spot wayyy above us, that I looked at every lunch hour - and thought "I want to go up there."  
"Did you?"  
"No, a thousand and one rules and regs kept me from doing so." he angled the car up.  
"And now? You get them changed?"  
"Now... I don give a damn." Garrus chuckled as they pulled up to the spot he had singled out carefully parking the vehicle.

As they got out., Jo Shepard looked around and gasped. They were a significant distance above the Presidium but the view from up here was actually pretty good.   
"It's beautiful." she said breathlessly. Garrus remembered then she had not really seen much of the Citadel since each time she was there wars seem to be happening.  
"I won't lie I had hoped it would inspire a certain kind of mood."   
Shepard smiled at him, he loved that smile more than anything he had ever been given.   
"So, having had time to think over things, are you willing to be a one turian kind of girl?" _Smooth Garrus reallll smooth._  he hoped it sounded better, or at least it was received better. Why was it when he had something serious to say, his tongue felt like it was tied in knots around her?  
"Garrus." she moved to where he was standing "the only thing that kept me going was knowing you were out here someplace. I love you Garrus Vakarian."she leaned in and kissed him, everything he had learned went out the window; Garrus was stumped at how to respond.  
"You were the reason I kept fighting Jo, that you were stuck down on earth while I had means to... "he sighed, trying to say I love you too and failing terribly . What was it about saying it that bothered him? he tried again, only getting her name out  "Jo"  
"I know Garrus,"She smiled up at him, and he pulled her into a sweeping hug and kiss.  
"Well now, that's how things are meant to go." Jo was flustered and that seemed to be reward enough. 

He grinned at her as he pulled two rifles and some empty cans from the car.  
"There is something else..." He handed her a gun "Lets see who is the best shot once and for all?"  
"I don't know Garrus, some people have seen me shoot and they think Im pretty good." Shepard hit the first target with ease.  
"That was a warm up. Throw one for me!" Garrus hit the target and then handed the gun back to Jo "Once more Shepard.."  
He had watched her shoot enough to know she missed deliberately, but he didn't care - it was his favorite place because she was there, because for a change there was no war, no anger no painful reminders of loss,  there was just them.  
"I am Garrus Vakarian. This is my favorite spot on the citadel." he cheered making out to be the hero of the hour. "I might get them to bronze the gun and have it set up here."   
"There was a wind.." she protested.   
"It's okay" Garrus placed his arm around his girlfriend - he replayed that through over and over: his girlfriend. "I know you are good at other things."  
"Alright how do we get back." Shepard laughed taking his hand."Believe it or not, everyone has asked for my time today - seriously this has been the best though."  
"We go the way we came." Garrus grinned "Promise me not to wear yourself out Shepard, you deserve fun too."  
"I know where you are." she stage whispered "if I want some fun ..."  
"Later. " Garrus agreed, he would go look for her to check she was really okay after the day off. Shore leave seemed more for the crew than their tired Captain but he knew she valued the friendships."Hey Garrus?" She said as they landed "I love you. Whatever comes next, don't forget that."  
He nodded. They both knew coming back to earth meant acknowledging the dangers of their job. Garrus silently prayed to the spirits to watch over Jo - he wasn't religious but something about having someone to lose made him want to have all the bases covered.

 

Much later as he snuck into Jo's quarters to put new models on her desk, he had been pretty certain she was off ship, he even had Edi check since he wanted to keep the fact he had bought them secret, Garrus left a note for her for this Valentines day and a rose - it had been hard to find a rose on the Citadel, being a particularly earth plant, but he had a friend who sold flowers who had gotten him just the one; perfectly red and standing out in Shepard's otherwise tidy, white and clean room.  Garrus knew she wouldn't miss it.

His note was typically him, he knew that if she loved him she would appreciate that.

it said:

"Jo, so I did some more research on human customs and came across Valentines day, I am pretty sure the actual history is completely lost on people these days, so i went with a more general meaning. Also found this: " Roses are red, Violets are blue, no flower in the world could compare to you." You know I am not a poet, and I don't actually know what a violet is - but I found a rose, and decided the poem was an accurate description. I know you might have preferred a snipers scope or something useful but still, the thought is there. Love Garrus."

Suitably awkward, Garrus thought, but he had rewritten it so many times that it felt strange leaving  it behind when he excited the room. He was almost back to the mess when Edi announced that Jo was back on board. Garrus hurried to his own space because he felt a little silly doing something like finding her a rose in the middle of a war. 

"Busy Garrus?" Jo asked from the doorway.   
"Just finishing calibrating the gun again - goes out of sequence frequently if I don't." Jo looked amused as he carefully switched off the setting he was working on. "What's so funny?"  
"You always seem to be calibrating that gun, most of us assumed it was an excuse to get rid of people."  
"Sometimes." Garrus admitted turning his full attention to Shepard. "Did you want me for something?"  
"I did, but now I am trying to remember how many times you said 'not right now I'm calibrating'  to me." she grinned as he looked uncomfortable. "Oh so there was a few times then. I see how it is.."  
"No... none recently." Garrus shrugged "Unless I actually was."  
"Fine... actually I came to say thank you."  
"For?" He had not forgotten what he did but he wanted her to have the chance to either acknowledge him or to just let it be.  
"The rose." Her eyes grew a little bit teary as she added "My dad gave me one on my 16th birthday, Mindoir didn't really grow them, so he had to have it shipped in."  
"Sorry Jo, wasn't trying to.." damn had he screwed up again?  
"Let me finish...  Dad told me that a good man will get a girl a rose, even if she is always covered in engine grease. I used to fix the tractor all the time." Jo smiled at that memory "Garrus, you made an effort to learn about me. To know where I come from - I will return that someday, you will show me Palaven."  
"I would love to." Garrus nodded, hugging her gently. "I am glad it is a good memory Jo, I thought I had screwed up, again."  
"Don't be silly Garrus, you have never screwed up - been as awkward as anything but not screwed up. I love you - I love that you try to learn, and I might need to poke Joker, he gave you the idea for Valentines day - did he tell you when it was?"  
"No, but the information said February 14th - I have no idea when that is so I figured you could do with someone looking out for just you."  
"Thank you Garrus... oh I nearly forgot... I know." she winked.  
"About which?"  
"The models, I have always known but .... it was cute and sweet and.." she giggled as he covered his eyes.   
"I did try to hide it."  
"I beat it out of Joker, no I didn't but he wanted me to know it wasn't him." she grinned "That was on the SR1 when you were getting the itty bitty ones. I really do appreciate it, I always did. When I was tired, frustrated or just couldn't sleep I worked on those. So, thank you."  
"Hope that doesn't mean I have to stop, I have a standing order..." Garrus pretended to lament.  
"No, just don't sneak in when I am not there, you can sneak in when I am however." She kissed him and then said "and now, back to work. We have been ordered out to the quarians."

 


	18. We Didn't Have Enough Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just want to fish slap people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so saying you are angry and want to hit someone - that isn't such a good thing... so *I* and therefore my shepard (who is a lot like me really) say that "I will slap them with a wet fish."

The first thought that went through Garrus' mind when he heard the quarians had started another war with the geth was one of frustration - the Reapers were ripping apart the entire galaxy and they wanted their petty war to be priority. Much unexpected as it was the geth had then allied with the Reapers and things had gone from bad to much worse. Garrus wondered where Tali and Legion stood in the mess.

Tali had been made an admiral and was doing her best to stop her people from being wiped out - he could respect that. It frustrated her that the war had started to begin with, and now - well now the quarians were hard up against the geth in the Rannoch system. That they had made it so far, had pushed so hard made Garrus wonder if the geth alliance with the Reapers was considered their only option. The fact was the quarians needed to retreat to save their people.

Shepard being Shepard had calmly to their faces volunteered to help. They would disable the reaper signal on the dreadnought and allow the quarians a chance to escape.  
Shepard, Tali and Garrus suited up and waited in the air lock.  
"Good to see you Tali, maybe with another dextro aboard they will get better food."  
"Good to see you too Garrus."Tali always seemed poised on the edge of flirting with him, but Garrus was previously oblivious - and now very taken.  
"Dr Michelle gave me some dextro chocolate that you are welcome to after this Tali." He had run into Dr Michelle a few times now and was happy to share with Tali.  
"Ooh Shepard you had better watch out." Tali giggled.  
Reaching the dreadnought was something of a skill in itself - the only open docking tube was hanging loose, Garrus was a little concerned when Shepard volunteered to walk over herself and make it so they could join her. He waited with Tali, correcting her view of Dr Michelle,  
"No.. it's not like that shes just very glad to have had us save her life I....." he flustered, really why were women so awkward?  
"It's okay Garrus, I have always known you were a Shepard man." Tali laughed.  
"Always?"  
"Turians don't really do the crush on their superior thing very often - so yes from the moment I met you."  
"Ack," Garrus just did not have the words to say.  
"Don't worry so much Garrus, I'm sure there's a story."

"Run into any trouble?" Garrus asked as he and Tali arrived on the dreadnought.  
"Not yet, but I am sure you can help with that." Shepard replied.  
A plan always needs adjusting when it meets the enemy; the geth were heavily upgraded from what Garrus recalled of them - smarter and faster and now with stealth abilities. They fought their way to the central processing and Tali went top turn off the code. Of course it had been too easy and the geth had locked down the signal, and the room which didnt phase Tali who problem solved to find a solution. Garrus marvelled how much Tali had grown in the time that they had known each other from the young girl on her pilgrimage to an Admiral on the quarian fleet.  
They fought their way to the battery of the massive gun an impressive size for the structure, and a dangerous area. Everytime the gun fired an electric charge fired down the area where they were attempting to fight through. For Garrus it was both a wonderful view of the gun and a terrifying few seconds every time it fired. The charge brushed Shepard's biotics a few times, and each time the near miss sent his adrenalin rushing. He knew she was smart enough to keep to cover.  
Right through the fight continued, the geth seemed clued into what they were doing pretty fast. Garrus could appreciate how upgrades from the Reapers had given them an edge. He hated geth once, mostly because the only geth he knew worked for Saren, and Saren was at the time trying to kill them and anyone else who got in his way. It had been Legion who corrected the view, it had given them all a pause when it explained that the geth who followed Saren were heretics. For the others to choose to ally with the Reapers? Something was wrong.

They finally reached the core of the ship, which showed definite signs of reaper technology. Shepard reached forward and pressed a few buttons, and the cover slid back to reveal Legion, tied firmly into the core of the machine.  
"Shepard Commander, help us." It asked.  
"Are we sure Shepard? I mean reaper code... " Garrus tried to see the negative, I mean Legion knew all three of them and he had stood against the reapers before.  
"It sided with us before, I doubt it volunteered for this."  
"Your caution is understandable." Legion acknowledged.  
"We need to get you out of there.."  
"There are hardware blocks on the far wall." Legion stated, Garrus got the impression that the geth was not happy with his current situation at all.  
"So we free you and the code goes off-line?" Shepard checked  
"Yes the short wave code will go off-line " Legion's reply seemed to indicate something else and Garrus couldn't put his finger on it. Still this was not the time to question things, as more geth were going to be on their position soon.  
They made it out of the center to the controls and freed Legion an unexpected jolt of energy followed.  
"As a show of good faith, I have shut down the shields and core of the dreadnought." Legion stated.  
That was when things went really bad. They were suddenly surrounded by geth, and could hear the quarians arguing, over firing on the ship.  
"Wait, we are still on here!"Tali said to no avail, they had stopped listening.  
"Let's talk to them after we deal with the geth." Shepard called as another geth prime joined the fray.

It was never a good thing Garrus thought as they rushed to the geth fighter that Legion had acquired, to fire on people who you are counting on to support you. Apparently the quarians had forgotten this because they were hell bent on taking down the dreadnought.

Garrus retreated almost immediately from having to deal with the quarian Admirals. Shepard went and showered and came into the battery to talk to him.  
"Garrus, if I could I would hit all of them with a wet fish. What WERE they thinking? They could have killed Tali, or you or I guess me, but why would they fire on their own?"  
"I know Shepard." Garrus tried to be soothing but he was also asking the same questions.  
"Now I have to report this to Hackett, and I know for sure he is just going to insist on dealing with them." Shepard let out a big sigh "This rubbish with the geth, like the Reapers were not enough trouble."  
"Just wait til they meet Legion..." Garrus said quietly "That should work a bit like a fish slap."  
"Garrus I love you." Shepard laughed "I should go I guess, since they and Hackett are waiting for me. Thanks for listening... now off to be a good diplomat."


	19. With you still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geth are programs, they live on a server - virtually dealing with them... who knew that was possible?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To watch someone in a box with their eyes closed and no idea if they are okay is difficult esp when you love them. I imagine at least. Which creates awkward tension for anyone who cares about them.
> 
> Author note: Aware that I need to go back over and edit some of these chapters, I apologise for any awkward wording or misplaced spellings - i want to get these posted for you to read, and that means writing and posting them without necessarily catching all the errors in spelling and format.

The quarian situation took a few more visits by the Admirals and a few more missions to get anywhere close to stable. Garrus volunteered but Shepard quietly told him that it would be better if James came - because they would need to defend Tali to turn off the guns. Garrus knew it was fine and all, but he did insist when Shepard was going to work with Legion to shut down the server where the geth ships were controlled from which were attacking the quarian life-ships. If she was going to go risking her neck, he decided he had better be there to catch her. Just in case.

The mere idea of going into a server was fine, after all that was a physical construction right? At least that is what Garrus had thought.  
"So what exactly are we doing?" Shepard asked.  
"You will need to virtually enter our consensus." Legion explained.  
"Wait, are you saying a virtual interface? How is that even possible?" Garrus realized that the idea was as crazy as it sounded, and being that way Shepard would most likely agree to do the job.  
"Yes, Cerberus had a project called Overlord, we listened to their communication and have designed a safer method, using existing infrastructure and items from the Normandy." Legion paused then added "We ask that you trust us."  
"I do trust you." Shepard replied "if it saves lives this way then I am all for it."

Legion went ahead to secure the facility and set up. Garrus knew Legion was more than capable but walking in and finding an unguarded building was surreal. The geth on duty were folded down as though they had been switched off - which given Legion's abilities was perhaps to be expected. They arrived, having not had to fight anything, Garrus had a good look at a geth Prime which had been locked into the server. He wished he had listened to Tali describe the geth more, because suddenly Legion showed up and pointed to a capsule similar to the ones the Primes were in.  
"Shepard Commander, please stand still for upload." Legion said gesturing for her to stop looking around. Suddenly Shepard's eyes were closed, and she no longer responded to anything around her.

"This is weird." James said under his breath as he impatiently walked the perimeter to settle his nerves. Garrus could only agree and stare at the now unconscious Shepard, this had better work, and not hurt her.  
Garrus decided to just wait, his weapon ready in case of trouble but patience born of being a sniper for many years was a gift - and he couldn't do much to help anyhow.  
After a good half hour or so, the quarian Admiral Ran checked in.  
"Commander, are you there?"  
Garrus glanced at James and shrugged.  
"In a manner of speaking." he replied finally.  
"The fighters arrived but... something is wrong.." there was a certain amount of hesitation and concern in the response. Whatever Shepard and Legion were doing in there, it was working.  
Garrus tried to imagine what it was like - maybe more like one of those games that were sold on the citadel - add it to your omni tool and you can game where ever you are so they claimed. Of course what Legion was doing, with Shepard, was a lot more complicated.  
There was more waiting.  
Garrus watching Shepard felt oddly like he never wanted to see this again, it was almost like seeing her in a glass coffin and the thought made him uneasy.  
" Think she's okay?" He asked James who had walked back around the edge a few times, Garrus tried to hide his real concerns.  
"I hope so. She looks.... " James searched for a word "peaceful?"  
"Yeah but I don't think she is getting rest, be the longest nap shes had if she is." Garrus noted.  
" We do put a lot on her don't we?" James seemed more thoughtful " It was easier just trying to keep her safe."  
"You werent there to make sure she behaved then?"  
"Well, there was some who wanted to make sure she didn't contact Cerberus."  
"Or anyone else." Garrus added with a wry shrug.  
" You and she... that long?"  
"Surprising? I wasn't sure really, we never talked about it until we met up again." Garrus nodded towards Shepard.  
"Yeah I was surprised. Heck i should have noticed the picture she kept." James slapped his hand against his head "Sorry, it just clicked - she had some picture of you..."  
"Me? How did she get that?" Garrus was shocked, he had kept one of her close but finding out that the feeling had been reciprocated that was a surprise." I don't know where she got it from."  
"C-sec uniform..." James said "must have got it somehow, before she came in too because she had no access to extranet or anything."  
"That explains a lot." Garrus had written everyday when he could.  
"She got some messages but only verified ones." James replied.  
"So no messages from the former C-sec vigilante then?"  
"Nah. Sorry."  
"It's ok I figured as much." Garrus glanced at Shepard again, this process was taking a long time.  
"Did you have her picture?" James asked then.  
"Would you believe my sister kept tabs on me, everything about Shepard, or Reapers she kept the recorded news or printed copies of articles. Lots of pictures." Garrus nodded " and yeah, I had my own."  
"You have family, hear from em?"  
"Not enough, last I heard they were evacuating." Garrus looked down recalling that his dad said his sister had broken her leg. "Haven't heard since. You?"  
" My Uncle and some cousins." James shrugged " still on earth. Last I heard they were safe but that was a while ago."  
"It isn't easy fighting this war," Garrus acknowledged " when we have so much to lose..."  
James nodded quietly looking at Shepard and then back at Garrus.  
"I would do anything to know she would make it through all this. Fact is none of us have a crystal ball," Garrus sighed " and she is usually the one who stands in the way of the reapers to make sure the rest of us live."  
"Buy you both a drink, Amigo, when we are done." James said then saluting Garrus.  
"Commander?" The quarian Admiral called again " whatever you did it is working, we can't detect any programs running on the geth ships."  
"Will let her know Admiral."

They waited in silence for another ten minutes, before suddenly Shepard's eyes were open and she was stumbling stiffly out of the pod.  
"Are you alright?" Garrus asked first.  
"Did it work?" Shepard asked over the radio as well.  
"Yes Commander it worked." Admiral Rann replied. "That server is offline."  
Sudden movement around them bought their weapons up.  
"Are you sure?"  
Legion came to himself then, Garrus noted he was not worried.  
"They wish to join us."  
"Ok." Shepard lowered her gun " Warn me next time. I can understand not wanting to leave anyone behind."  
"You accept our actions?" Legion was still cautious, but Shepard nodded.  
"Just remind me to warn Hackett he's got Primes coming."

Garrus was back in the forward battery when Shepard stopped in to see him.  
"So that was a very strange experience." She said as the door closed behind her.  
"For you and for the rest of us."  
"Were you worried Garrus?" She sidled up next to him, he had known she was a terrible flirt, watching her flirt back to James had been amusing.  
"Yes, I will admit that I was. Was strange seeing you pretty much unconscious."  
"You should have seen what I was seeing... I can't even describe it."  
"Kaidan asked about it too." Garrus noted "Project Overlord got some Alliance attention at the time."  
"Well, you still with me for this ride? Can only get stranger from here."  
"With you all the way." Garrus replied " What's the next thing?"  
"Oh shutting down the reaper signal base.." Shepard ran her hands over her eyes "but first, a shower... And some sleep."  
"Shower hmm?" Garrus could not keep his attention on the guns.  
"Mmhm on my own." Shepard laughed "some how I just know your mind is going places."  
"Many places." Garrus agreed letting her go "sleep well Jo."


	20. Facing Giants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When facing the enemy, it might sometimes seem like you are smaller than small.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General disclaimer on following or not following game content: I know it doesnt happen like this, its an artistic rendering. Also, I apologise for mistakes in spelling and formatting etc. I really want to get this story finished and then I promise to go back over and polish it a bit.

 

The Reaper base had been found, it struck Garrus as strange calling it that, since the Rannoch base was actually manned by geth. This was Tali and James' trip to make however.  
Garrus dutifully worked the guns until he heard Joker on his coms.  
" Shit. Garrus you need to see this..."   
"On my way, are they in trouble? " a thousand fears ran through his mind, and each one of them wore Shepard's face.  
"Not yet." Joker replied as Garrus ran for the lift.   
On the flight deck a flurry of activity told him something was going on.  
"So what did I miss?"  
"That base was not just broadcasting the code, it had a reaper in it." 

"Bet James is awake now." He wished he could have been there, he did not want to lose her to one lousy Reaper.  
"Why are they stopping?" Joker fumed.  
"Shepard is going to face down the reaper..." They were both staring at the small feed from her camera. Shepard called Edi to set up the targeting laser and synchronise it to the fleet.  
"She is one gutsy woman." Garrus marvelled a mixture of fear and respect.  
"Did you hear Legion say good luck?" Joker replied still glued to the screen.  
"Yeah, even he's not so sure."   
"Fire Edi." Joker said as the laser synch showed the target.

It was a good ten minutes and several shots later before the Reaper lay dead. Shepard spoke to it, telling it that humans would fight them, heck the whole galaxy would.

hen, as Legion was attempting to upgrade his people, Shepard told Tali to call off the fleet. This war with the geth had to end. There was some who did not want it to end. Garrus could hear the desperation in Talis voice " Please, don't do this...Shepard my people will die.."

Shepard was silent for only a second before she faced down the biggest crisis in quarian history.  
"No. No one else dies today. Legion, upload the code. Tali open a channel to the fleet."  
"Shepard?"  
"This is Commander Shepard, the Reaper is dead, stand down."  
"But we can still win..."one of the other Admirals replied.  
"Stand down. If you can believe just for a moment that the geth don't want to fight you. This war could end now. Keelah Selai."  
"This is Admiral Tali'zorah, Commander Shepard speaks with my authority."  
"And mine." Admiral Koris added.  
The unbelievable happened and the fleet was ordered to stand down.  
Shepard had ended the war. Legion reached a point where he could no longer transfer the code.  
"Shepard Commander" the geth said, his tone sad, with an edge of longing "I am sorry. Direct dissemination is required, I must go to them."   
Garrus didn't hear the rest of the conversation, but he knew two significant things- Legion had identified himself in the singular, as a unique identity. Second that they had lost him, so he could free his people. Garrus sighed glancing at Edi who nodded.  
"I will place his plaque myself." She said quietly.

It had been another long day and Garrus knew Shepard would be feeling a bit lost - in the end though she had worked a miracle, a war 300 years in the making had ended on her word and peace between the geth and the quarian was a reality. More importantly both were now invested in the fight against the Reapers.   
Garrus, like the rest of the crew was told only that they were returning to the Citadel for a restock and short shore leave. He took the time to double check for the models he knew Shepard was missing and to check on his family. It was starting to feel like there might be an end to this, Hackett had reported that the crucible was to all extents ready to fire - once they figured out the catalyst, and how to fire it, it should rid them of the reapers.

This war had cost them, time, energy, loved ones, and it was not over yet. There would be more suffering and more pain before the end. Garrus tried to keep an eye on Shepard but she really did throw herself into her work with as much enthusiasm as ever. Every evening she would sit and stare at a cup of coffee in the mess and then retreat to bed. It was a trip to the asari home world that broke her in more ways than she would admit.

Garrus did not join the mission because of a major issue with the guns. It also seemed fair and fitting that Liara have Shepard's company all to herself as she dealt with the damage the Reapers were doing to her beloved home planet. Garrus knew he and Shepard were no longer astonished at the speed and ferocity of the Reapers. The  reality of war had not hit Liara in the same way, in the back of her mind, her people had still been safe.

 The catalyst, the answer they had been searching for was on the asari home world. so the rumor was at least, or at least that Shepard had been told. Hidden in an old asari temple of all places. That both annoyed and amused Garrus. Amused because the asari always seemed to have the cards, and it made it seem like they knew everything well ahead of the time. Annoyed because, early in the war, the asari could have contributed the knowledge that they were now fighting to keep from the reapers destruction. 

Things did not go well. Liara was in shock when hey got back the reapers were destroying anything and everything, people that they had just dealt with had died in front of them. While Garrus knew it, knew the feeling and the sadness  knew that the war was going to cost a lot more lives, it did not help him be able to convey that to Liara.  On top of watching the destruction of Thessia Shepard replied to his question of how she was with one word. Cerberus.

Cerberus had gotten there before them, killed the scientists, hurt the chances they had at beating the reapers.

It was later now Shepard was staring into her cup, and while he normally did not interrupt the time she took for herself there, Garrus knew something was wrong.  
"What is wrong?" Garrus sat down opposite the woman he loved and took her hand from around the cup.  
"Nothing. Everything. I ... bloody Cerberus." Shepard frowned into her drink "Kai Lang was there, again.... he got in there before we even arrived, then waited for us - while the galaxy is going to hell Cerberus are hell bent on stopping us stopping it."  
"Kai Lang is on borrowed time." Garrus muttered. Thane had met his end on Kai Lang's blade and since then they had been waiting, just waiting for a reason  
"Thessia... Garrus... it's my .."  
"Don't you dare say it is your fault Shepard, it is far from it. You told them the Reapers were coming, three years ago - they did not listen. You told them again and again... you told them when they arrived that we have to work together," Garrus took a deep breath "The state of the galaxy, the risks soldiers are now having to take to save it, and the belligerence of the council are not your fault."  
"I should have known they were going to be there." Shepard said quietly "It is my job."  
"Maybe." Garrus accepted that part of being a soldier is being prepared but he also knew Shepard taking on the guilt of the entire galactic society was not a good thing. "Whats next?"  
Shepard looked up at him and frowned.  
"You're right. "She began to get her thoughts on the future instead of worrying about the past she can't change anyhow. "Let's get everyone around the war table,  its time we took this to Cerberus." 

 

They had taken down whole Reapers, and still it felt as though facing Cerberus and getting them out of the picture completely was going to take some more than steely nerves. Garrus could still remember the sick feeling he had with their experiments when they had discovered them during the chase for Saren. It was going to take them a good deal to know for sure what is going on.  
"Isn't it time we kick Cerberus before they kick us?" James stated as they gathered.  
"I'm with James." Shepard replied "It's time we stop Cerberus once and for all, take them out of this fight for good."  
"Careful Shepard, we don't have any leads yet do we?" Kaidan was practical, they had no new leads on Cerberus. It was going to take some digging.  
"They stole from us, heck they have us painted into a corner unless we find a way to get that information back." Shepard was angry, Garrus could tell.   
"There is one..." Edi started to say, Traynor shook her head.  
"What Traynor?" Shepard asked

"We tracked the ship Kai Lang traveled on, and we found nothing."  Traynor was trying to explain something, Garrus bought up the map of the galaxy in the war room's table.  
"Nothing?" Shepard frowned.  
"Exactly. We traced his ship, the signal went to there" Traynor used a device to make a mark in the area of the terminus that Horizon was on. Garrus knew it well, he had stared at it a few times, willing Shepard's guilt over the colonists from there away.  
"Horizon?" Kaidan spoke again "When I was on horizon, there was no Cerberus presence except you."  
"Well all communications goes silent there. Something is wrong." Traynor pointed. "That's my home system, I can't really believe that Cerberus would be there - I really need to know what they are doing..." she sighed.  
"Joker, lets head for Horizon please. Garrus, Kaidan suit up we will be going down there. Steve, get that shuttle ready. We are going to find Cerberus' secrets and hopefully locations of their main bases."

   
Horizon was a mess. Garrus was shocked by the damage at the 'Sanctuary' facility, visible from the shuttle as they went down.  
"Spirits... what happened here? And what does Cerberus have to do with it?"  
"Commander, we have a communication..." Steve Cortez tweaked some buttons and the voice on the other side was almost familiar.  
"My name is Oriana Lawson, Sanctuary is a lie..." It cut off abruptly.  
"There's the connection to Cerberus." Shepard said quietly "I was hoping it wasn't but...if Oriana is here, so is Miranda."  
"They have a base here?" Kaidan was shocked "Sanctuary is meant to take in refugees."  
"Reapers have hit this place Shepard" Garrus nodded to the damage and smoking vehicles.   
"Cerberus and the Reapers? What is Cerberus up to? Set us down Steve, it's time we found out." Shepard drew her weapon and began to adjust the settings, getting ready for a fight. Garrus and Kaidan grimly did the same.   
They saw two large harvesters as they landed, Cortez decided to bug out until he was needed to collect them.

   
"This place..." Kaidan shrugged "It looks so...."  
"Innocent? Except for the Cerberus soldiers and the reaper bodies i mean." Garrus pointed clear signs of fighting were littering the entrance way.  
"Shepard, some of those computer terminals are still on." Kaidan pointed.  
"Let me see." Shepard played several recorded notes, all of which left them feeling horrified.   
"This is not... it can't .. we have to go further in." Kaidan nodded towards doors.  
"Thats just a balcony? A pool sign?" Garrus pointed to a sign on the other side of the door.

"Heads up - Cerberus troops." Kaidan managed to yell before the troops began to fire, they all took cover.  
"Well with a welcome like that." Garrus noted "They are hiding something."  
"Agreed. We just have to find what." Shepard's reply came as they dealt with the stragglers from the previous, brutal fight between the reaper mobs and Cerberus.  
They left via the pool door, and Shepard pointed at a interface next to what looked like the filters for the pool.   
"Let's see what this does?"  
"Damn." Garrus watched the water drop in the pool, revealing another door."Whatever they are doing, it is through there."  
"Let's go, stay alert."  
The Sanctuary facility was an incredibly evil front for research that Cerberus and the Illusive Man were doing. Still, for all the wasted life there, Garrus felt a strange sense of having seen the same thing before.  
"Shepard...." He began quietly "This feels a lot like Saren's facility on Vermire."  
"But worse." Shepard grimly pointed at a list and dates. "They were researching indoctrination and control. However they were using colonists and..."  
Kaidan turned on a light switch which illuminated the room beyond.  
"Oh my god." Kaidan gasped "They turned them into husks."

All the colonists, all the people who had sought refuge, had been turned into husks - it reminded Garrus of Vermire, and the collector base all at the same time. The researcher in question was Miranda's father.  
"This is brutal." Garrus said quietly "And Miranda is somewhere in here as well?"  
They had no choice but to continue to fight through the place. Kaidan tried finding more information on computers as they passed them. A story unfolded that left all of them feeling ill.  
Not only had refugees been turned into husks, but also the Illusive Man was researching mind control and indoctrination. He intended to use it to control the Reapers.  
The Reapers had somehow gotten wind of the research, and sent in forces to stop them. The corpses of reaper forces - banshees, brutes, cannibals just to name a selection littered the first few areas. Finally, they began to run into living reaper forces.

   
"We need to get to that tower." Shepard said as she played a message from Miranda. "Holy hell thats Kai Lang."  
"Damn it, I hope Miranda was ready for him."   
"Lets go."  
They fell into a fighting sequence and silently followed Shepard as she angrily made her way through the facility. She had this calm exterior when she was angry and though the circumstances were grim and Garrus could understand her anger he couldn't help thinking that she was incredibly sexy when she was angry, the control was something he liked about her. It had always been how he knew that Cerberus had not damaged who she was. 

 They made it to the tower and stood face to face with someone Garrus thought who was vile and evil in so many ways. Worse, he had Oriana by the throat.  
"Let her go Lawson." Shepard said coming up next to where Miranda was lying on the ground.  
"Miranda? Can you hear me?"  
"Shepard." Miranda's voice was cracking, and her father seemed delighted at the result of the situation.  
"Kai Lang is he still here?"  
"He took the research and left. Left us to die, to ... those things." the man Miranda had hated, had set her goal to avoid for the rest of her life, was responsible for 'those things'.  
"Let Oriana go." Shepard said clearly, a second chance.  
"I'm not stupid. If I let her go you kill me." Lawson taunted.   
"I will make you a deal. If you let her go, you live." she said sounding disgusted.  
"Whats the point of that?" Lawson sneered, his actions far from the respectable person he had claimed to be. "Stuck in here.. with..."  
"Let her go, you get to live. You don't let her go, you die anyhow."Shepard said calmly, her fist closing and opening at her side. Only Garrus noted her patience was getting thin.  
"Fine." Lawson pushed Oriana towards Shepard, as if daring her to fire while catching the frightened woman. The sound of a biotic burst reminded them all that Miranda was alive.  
"I did not make any promises." she said bluntly, her injuries were bad but she would live, Garrus surmised. "It's over. It's actually over."  
Oriana helped her sister stand, as Shepard gave her some medi-gel.  
"I want to get off this planet." Oriana had said her extreme shock clear in her voice.  
"We are finally free Ori, lets get out of here." Miranda hugged her sister. "Oh Shepard, you might want this."  
"A tracker?"  
"I placed a tracker on Kai Lang as we fought, you should be able to find the base." Miranda winced as even the medi gel couldn't remove the pain entirely. "I was prepared for him, like I told you before."  
Shepard nodded and Miranda and Oriana made their departure.

 

"Let's tell everyone what this place is, let's turn off the communication blocker." Shepard was feeling a bit victorious now. "Traynor and Edi can find the base. We are done here."  
She called Cortez as Garrus and Kaidan scanned the computers for information as well. What data was left there, on the indoctrination and control methods that the Reapers used, felt so tainted that Garrus almost left it - many people had died here, many more might yet die and the information, no matter how it was sourced, might well prevent that. 

Back on the ship and much later in the evening while Kaidan, Joker and James occupied the poker table Garrus made Shepard a cup of tea and had a turian cocoa for himself before she even came down to the mess. They sat in silence for a moment, the hot drink doing much for their exhaustion after the day they had.  
"Garrus, it feels like we are fighting giants, and we are the ants." Shepard said quietly.  
"Ants?" Garrus had not had the luxury of visiting earth; and now it wasn't exactly the time to visit either  he promised himself he would go to the planet that had produced Jo Shepard's lineage.  
"Tiny little crawly bugs. Like to work in a large group."

"Ants however, take down a lot of very big things." Cortez said quietly as he walked through "We might be the ants Shepard, but we can darn well take down the giants Goodnight you two."  
Garrus nodded, they had small bugs on Palaven too, but pretty much every creature on the planet had exo-skeletal plates of some kind.   
"Someone accidentally let them loose on Mindoir." Shepard said humored now "I think they could take over the planet someday if they so chose.  
"Giants fall pretty hard, we have seen that." Garrus pointed out to her "And it sounds like your ants survive regardless."  
"Yeah. I think you are right." Shepard yawned. "I got some work to sort out and then..." she raised her eyebrow at him and he nodded. 

"Also have some work to do, night Shepard." Garrus said pretending he hadn't seen the raised eyebrow.  
"Last chance Garrus, we aren't going to get more time." She grinned as he patted her shoulder.  
"Not last Shepard, just last for a short time."  
" Think this will be done in a week?"she said sounding tireder, wearier than she had for a long time.  
"We can hope. Once we have the catalyst, it will all be smooth sailing."  
"Garrus, not even you believe that."  
"What is it you call it? Oh yeah, hope... I can hope." He grinned "With you leading us ants in the giant slaying business, it is worth having hope."

 


	21. Remembering me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of the day, who we are matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference to the Mindoir story from ME 1 where Shep is asked to help a traumatized returned victim of the slavers is deliberate.  
> I have no idea if I have kept her origin story cohesively : My Shepard is a Colony born, Sole Survivor hopefully my edit will fix any problems with that.

Garrus finished up what he was doing, the guns were clean and ready for a round with Cerberus, and they deserved each hit he decided. Looking at the time he saw that Shepard would still be awake and worried in her cabin. It seemed that was her habit, to worry over the coming fight, at least this time they were ready.

Slipping past the kitchen he grabbed two wine glasses and the bottle he had been saving, without hesitating, as he had months ago, it seemed like years now, that last night before the Collector base. It was strange still to ride the lift up to her room, the empty fish tank which had never changed, the silly hamster somehow survived the two tours on the Normandy without much wear unlike the two of them.  
The most wonderful sight were the models Shepard had on display, past those was a lounge and table where he carefully deposited the glasses and wine then moved to the bed where Shepard sat watching him, her work data pad in her hand.

"Want some company?" Garrus said sitting next to her.  
"You read my mind." She laughed and tossed the data pad on the desk. He took her hand and they sat together on the bed, she turned and looked at him a hard to read expression on her face.  
"Garrus, do you think we are ready?"  
"About as ready as we can be. " Garrus said quietly, "Can't say it is going to be an easy fight."  
"No but it is definitely about time we went... home." She shook her head in confusion. " It is strange you know, having spent most of my life away from earth to think of it as home."  
"I understand that." He kissed her forehead resting against it for a moment."Palaven was my childhood home, but we spent more time on the citadel than there, it is... strange looking at the feeds from Palaven, seeing so many..."  
"Shhh we really should just take some time out for us." Shepard leant against him, he realised then just how tired she was, tired of the fighting and tired of Cerberus, tired of trying to be strong for everyone.  
"Lean on me a bit Shepard." Garrus murmured into her hair "Told you we are in this together."

Later he sat on the sofa, watching her sleep but making it look like he was working on something as well. Actually he was scanning the reports from Earth, how bad it was and what they could expect. He had a friend in one of the turian units now heading to support the battle for Earth. The combined fleets were also ready to help; but first they had to deal with Cerberus. Shepard moved in her sleep and it drew Garrus' attention to where she was sleeping, it was clear she was having a nightmare.

He moved to the side of the bed and sat on the ground while the nightmare held Shepards mind in it's grip. He knew she dreamed about the dead and the lost. Ashley, Mordin, Thane and more, they were all there in Shepard's mind. Garrus had long since given up telling her to not blame herself for their death. She felt especially responsible for Ash since she gave the order.  
"Shepard?" he whispered trying to gently draw her out of the dream "wake up love, its Garrus here."  
She shot up, not what he expected, almost colliding with his head.  
"Sorry.. I.."  
"Bad dream?"  
"Yeah." she wiped her hand across her face as if trying to chase away the cobwebs of the dream. "Garrus, If I dont...."  
"Dont say that..." He tried to stop the thought that he could lose her clouding his mind.  
"You and I both know, soldiers don't always make it back." Garrus nodded shortly, then reached out and gathered Shepard in his arms. He had no intention of letting her go, of letting her take all the risks while they wait for her. Tonight at least, he could actually hold her close to him, and spirits willing, the end of this war would see them able to walk away together.

They still had to deal with Cerberus. To stop them, to find the information they stole, and Garrus thought to himself, stick it to Kai Lang for what he had done to Thane. The end of the war was within view however, and he hated the idea that the real cost was yet to be counted. Garrus continued to watch Shepard sleeping, keeping an eye on her, doing his best to protect her even from her dreams. He knew he couldn't really do that but he wanted to try anyhow.

Morning came earlier than anyone really wanted, it was clear when the meeting on how they were going to attack Cerberus' base started. Garrus had quietly gotten Shepard a coffee, a strong , black coffee - he knew she hadn't had a lot of sleep and he wanted to make sure she was going to last through the day.  
"Admiral Hackett has let us know he is ready." Traynor announced checking over her own data pad. "However he said that once we attack, the Reapers are going to know what we are doing, and there will be no hiding the crucible."  
"So we start here," Shepard said clearly "And then we finish this on Earth."  
She looked around at the group quietly, she knew all of them, even the soldiers who were staffing different parts of the vessel. She had always been the kind of commander who knew her people.  
"I can say, here and now, I am proud to have served and known all of you." She nodded to them "Let's go give Cerberus some hell, then get those Reapers off of our planets."  
Garrus couldn't help feeling somewhat pleased with her short speech, he knew that she was keyed up, wanting to end Cerberus as much as anyone else did.

"So, Garrus, James, suit up..." she started to say, only Edi stepped in.  
"Commander, I would like to come with you." she said quietly, Garrus could tell Joker didn't hear it, which might be a good thing he decided "in fact I believe you may need my knowledge of the encryptions and locks that Cerberus has in place in this facility."  
Shepard paused considering a moment before she said:  
"Alright Edi, you and Garrus can suit up ready to go."  
"Wait, what?" Joker timed his entrance just so that he caught the last instruction.  
"I will be fine." Edi said to Joker.  
"But what if they have... I dont know a way to hack you or break into your systems.. anything can happen..." Edi placed a gentle hand on Joker's shoulder.  
"I will be fine Jeff." they stood a moment before Jeff nodded slowly.  
"Shepard?" Joker looked at his commander "look after her."  
"Same to you Joker." she replied nodding.

Once they were ready, they boarded the station under cover of a barrage of fire from several of Admiral Hackett's fleet. They made it into the hangar, but the shuttle took some damage.  
"I am going to have to get this fixed before you need to get out." Steve Cortez said calmly - you would never know they were under fire from Cerberus forces, Cortez never let on that he was worried or scared or in fact that the shuttle was not repairable. Garrus realized the humans bred their soldiers tough, he had seen enough of this side of them to know for sure - any turian would serve along side them and not feel too out of place.  
"Alright, any idea how we get past their lock down." Shepard looked to Edi for that, and Garrus knew he had been picked because it was Cerberus, and Shepard needed as much moral support as his skills with weapons.  
"I will need a terminal to stop them venting the hangar." Edi said nodding towards the ladder "I believe there is one up stairs."  
"Yeah venting the hangar is a bit of a problem."Garrus agreed as they climbed the ladder to the top level.  
Edi managed to over ride the venting procedure, but of course that alerted the Cerberus crew that they were being attacked - more than just the ships hitting outside the station.  
"Incoming." Edi said helpfully "A large number. Seems they really want to stop us."  
"Or at least slow us down, I gather this means we are heading the right way."  
"They sealed the doors." Garrus pointed out.  
"Easily fixed." Edi turned the launch mechanism so that it was facing the inside wall of the hangar.  
"Edi, you are a genius!" Shepard laughed, now all they had to do was launch the jet, and follow the crash path. This was achieved as they circled around the hangar, dispensing the reinforcements who came charging in.  
"Now we follow the path of the ship back towards the center of the station - that is where the most secure location is, and I would think the item we seek."  
They did just that, although it was a little more than simple. The Cerberus soldiers that were sent to stop them were strong, well armed and had access to portable shields. Although they did find targeting these first set off a nice electronic pulse which stunned a few of the soldiers closer to them.  
Eventually they arrived at a door, which Shepard looked at and nodded to Edi.  
"Shepard." Edi said calmly approaching the door "The terminals were not completely scrubbed. You may be interested in their contents."  
"What am I looking at here?"  
"Project Lazarus, the project responsible for you." Edi turned back to the door, leaving Shepard and Garrus staring at the screen.

"It can't be done, it just is not possible. Shepard is clinically brain dead, we can't just ..."  
"Lawson says we can, she is now in charge of this project." The Illusive Man was saying.  
Shepard was stunned, Garrus could see that, she had no idea how bad things had been.  
"I..." she started "I didn't know it was that bad..." she swiped her hand across the edge of the computer, staring at it. "what if I'm not really me? What if I am just something- a VI - that thinks I am me?"  
"You're real. Crazy," Garrus gave a grin "but definitely real."  
He watched as his words sunk in, hoping they were louder than the video evidence in front of her. he hadn't known how bad it had been either. He did know Joker had heard her die, had enough knowledge about how things worked in space to peg survival at a very low rate. Still seeing her affected by that knowledge was heart breaking. He wished he could solve all the problems.  
They watched some more, finding out that the illusive man had set her up - so she could not see the bad for the people she knew and the good people. Still, Garrus knew at least, Cerberus had not banked on her taking all those good people and the ship, with her when she left. He smiled at the thought because serve them right for trying to manipulate people.

They fought their way through the station, through the reinforcements and further towards the centre. There were more unlocked terminals. One concerning Edi which revealed they had met before on the Luna base that half of what Edi was came from there and the other half was developed from Reaper tech. That surprised Shepard, who apologized for the difficult start to their relationship. There was more information on Edi. However what really grabbed Shepard's attention was the bid tat showed an angry Illusive Man demanding the team retrieve the Normandy. The scientists replied that they had tried to but had been flooded with a large amount of pornographic images. Shepard looked at Edi - she had not known that Cerberus had tried to retrieve the Normandy.  
"You were busy, Joker and I felt we could handle it." Edi filled in Garrus could have sworn she smiled.

They finally made it into the central area a computer lab that Shepard recognised.  
"Familiar place." She muttered.  
"You're sitting in my chair." The illusive Man was standing on the communication pad in the centre of the room.  
"I know. It's quite cosy." Shepard said, a catty tone Garrus knew as her anger.  
"Just don't overstay your welcome, Shepard." With that he disappeared.  
"Humph. Noted. Edi?" Shepard gestured to the computer and Edi was quick to find what they were looking for.  
The VI fired up, and they went through several conversations before they found the information she was looking for: the catalyst was the citadel.  
Well that made sense to Garrus especially knowing that the citadel was a giant mass relay.  
"You are too late. The citadel has already been moved." The VI warned.  
"Moved? By who? Where?" Shepard asked  
"To the system you call the Sol system."  
"Earth."  
"The Reapers know what you know. "  
"Indoctrinated presence detected..."  
"You were told..." Garrus felt a chill at that voice, Kai Lang stood angry in the doorway.

The fight was rough, Garrus tried to hamper Kai Lang's movements as much as possible but he was fast. Finally Shepard knocked him down with a biotic burst.

"Let's finish up, we need to get to earth." Shepard nodded to the files "some of this may help us."  
In an instant before any of them could react Kai Lang was back on his feet with his sword drawn. Shepard reacted faster, using her omni blade to break his weapon and stab him.  
"That was for Thane, you son of a .."  
Her last word was lost in the alarms that started blaring around them.  
"Shepard we have to go." Garrus grabbed hold of her and pulled her up out of the chair "the station is coming apart."  
Cortez picked them up as if it had been a day at the beach or an outing some place with less explosions. Joker was glad to see Edi as soon as they were back he grabbed her hand and took her back to the pilots deck.

Garrus was left to his own devices as Shepard went to file her report with Admiral Hackett. He knew that Earth was next. He was both worried and happy that this was nearly over. That people would stop dying to the Reapers, that they would all be... free.. from that cycle of hatred that the Reapers propagated. He felt the need to check over the guns, even though he knew they were fine. He wanted to be ready so he could join Shepard in that final push.

Shepard came by the battery later, after all her reports were made and she had given the okay for them to head back to earth. It seemed a lot of pressure on Shepard but she seemed a little less worried now they were near the end.  
"What are we going to do Garrus?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"When this is all over? What do we do?" she blinked then frowning "I mean I have pretty much lived and breathed Reapers for the past three years. What do we do next?"  
"Anything we like." Garrus replied "after everything you have done, have been for this galaxy... you should be able to retire."  
"What if..." she trailed off and Garrus looked at her tears were forming in her eyes, his strong capable Shepard was not as together as they all thought.  
"Jo?" He reached out and pulled her in.  
"I actually died Garrus.... it wasn't a dream..and it wasn't a close shave..." she was somewhere between afraid and hurt.  
"I'm not sorry they bought you back."Garrus said quietly "I always admired you, cared for you and..."  
"Even at the start?"she wiped her tears as he nodded. "You never said anything.... I thought you hated me actually."  
"I did not want to step on toes." He nuzzled his chin into her hair.  
"You watched me then?" She asked now accepting his hug.  
"All the blasted time."Garrus sighed "when we lost you we were all shell shocked, Joker... he heard your coms as you went. We knew, we thought we did anyhow."  
"Joker heard me die?" She clearly didn't know.  
"He was literally shaking. Possibly why he is so protective of you. Then, just when I had given up all hope you appeared out of nowhere."  
"That must have scared the hell out of you." She shook her head. "So how do you know I am me?"  
"Jo, aside from having slept with you, there are things you do. The way you resist temptation to shoot an easy target , the way you pace when you are upset..."  
"I pace?" She asked .  
"Yeah, was bad after Ashley died, and I saw you do the same thing after Horizon."  
Garrus twirled a piece of her hair around d his fingers "So I fell for you from the start, you breezed up those steps on the Presidium like you owned it. "  
Shepard laughed "I was trying not to get lost. Yes, I noticed you."  
"Noticed?"  
"Saw you fighting for more time. I'd not met a turian and I was curious. Yet I wasn't sure why you wanted to join us. We had just come back after losing the last turian on the ship."  
"Nihlis."Garrus nodded. "I don't know what I did Shepard to have you..."  
"I believe you took my trust and didn't try and tear me apart." She said it softly.  
"I tried to honor you but keep you safe too." He sighed "tomorrow I might not be able to keep you safe."  
"I promise Garrus, whatever happens. This has been the most incredible experience I've ever had, because of you. Ironic that it's a war... when I'm with you, I'm happy and I feel like myself"  
He just held her after that, what cost would this war take on them? Hell he did not want to find out if he could survive without her.


	22. End of Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it's just like old times...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I checked a recording of the scene i wanted to get it right (I think i got it) but at the same time I am sorry, I bawled while I was writing it, because this part ALWAYS makes me cry. 
> 
> Usual disclaimer with spelling and editing is required. Enjoy anyhow.

The Sol system was home for the humans of the crew, even if home was being torn apart by Reapers, it still stirred a sense of camaraderie and determination, much as the turian forces on Palaven had exhibited when Garrus was training with them. You can never prepare for the level of destruction the Reapers had impacted. The place the humans called London - formerly a city of some importance Garrus assumed, - was rubble from one end to the other. Buildings that were not rubble were damaged beyond recognition. 

 Shepard, James and Garrus were in the shuttle heading down to aid the hammer group. On the way it was clear one of the groups responsible for the destruction of the anti air battery had been killed by it. "Right, set us down there Cortez."  
"Commander?"  
"We need that battery down, so we are the ones in the vicinity to do it. Set us down and bug out."  
"Yes Ma'am." Cortez nodded knowing how urgent this mission was.  
He set them down, and as he went to take off the shuttle was hit.  
"Cortez?" Shepard gasped urgently.  
"I'm still here but I won't be able to pick you up I need to ditch this someplace." his calm voice seemed to assure Shepard some, but Garrus knew that the hit had been pretty bad; but they had to focus on the task at hand.

  

"We are going to need stronger weapons than we bought with us." James stated pointing at the beast of an anti-air cannon that sat tormenting incoming shuttles.  
"They had artillery on the shuttle that was shot down. " Shepard scanned the skyline above them. "There, lets move."  
They made it to the downed shuttle, and fought their way to the battery, one single shot and there was a satisfying explosion when it went up.  
"Take cover, we got incoming!" Shepard yelled. They tried to fight through the mob but it seemed almost impossible.  
"This is Commander Shepard. We need a pick up, anyone in our vicinity." Shepard called on the radio, "I repeat, we need a pick up..." 

The fight went a few minutes too long, Garrus had positioned himself to pick off the husks and James was tearing into the larger reaper troops. They kept coming and Garrus knew that the odds were against them surviving if they didn't get picked up soon.  
"On our way, we got you." A strange accent, almost like Traynor but not quite replied. Shepard nodded and they were soon on a shuttle.  
"Anderson" Shepard said, both in a form of relief and by way of greeting. "Damn good to see you."  
"Sir" James saluted Admiral Anderson and nodded to the other soldiers as he sat down. Garrus felt a little awkward, the only turian in the group he nodded to Anderson and sat beside James to see what was going to happen.  
"We are heading to the forward camp." Anderson noted "the sight of you will do the boys some good."  
They made their way dodging the anti-air  craft that was still to be taken down; Shepard sitting down next to Garrus seemed tired.  
"London...." Anderson said quietly with a lot of pain behind the word"I was born here..."  
"You will have to show me around when this is over."Shepard said her smile genuine. Garrus knew Shepard had to believe they would win, or she would give up trying sooner than she needed to. They might just pull it off too, with her thinking that way.

"So we are organizing for the last push, we need to get someone to that beam to open the way for the crucible."Anderson was saying gesturing to a large beam, with several Reaper forces guarding it.  That's where Garrus left Shepard to do the Commander things, he went and stood watching turians, krogan, asari and salarians all working together, he couldn't help feeling proud of Shepard. It was her who had bought this together, who had inspired and orchestrated the events which had led them to fight here for their galaxy - as one force. 

He saw her making the rounds, recalling every other time she had done the same thing - saying goodbye and good luck. Garrus was never sure this was a good idea, it seemed defeatist at best. For Shepard though, he knew, dying in the collector attack had changed her attitude to people, she cared for her crew, loved them - they were the family she hadn't had in so long. Garrus felt privileged to be among their number. To be somewhere near the front even, it was odd knowing that whatever life she touched, changed for the better; or he supposed in the case of the illusive man, for the worst. Nobody ever stayed the same after Shepard, and nothing, in Garrus' mind at least could make him be less proud of her than seeing her with her crew.

"Shepard." Shepard was in front of him now. "I guess it's.."  
"Just like old times," Shepard replied. He had been going to say goodbye spirits but he didn't want to think of possibilities right now, but he might not have another chance.  
"Ha, hm" he stumbled again, important moments, he decided were not his forte. "Might be the last chance we get to say that."  
"You think we are gonna lose?" Shepard asked him then, with enough swagger that he knew her heart was still in the fight.  
"No, I think we are going to kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of, retire somewhere warm and tropical, and live off the royalties of the vids." He glanced at her then, a spark returning to his eye "Maybe even find out what a turian human child looks like."  
Shepard laughed, it was a good sound at this point. "I'm game, though I think adoption might be a better option, I don't think biology will co-operate. "  
"Hah... I suppose there will be a lot of little krogan around soon." Garrus replied still joking.  
"We just have to beat the Reapers first." Shepard replied the joke dying on her lips before it made it out as they came back to reality. Garrus sighed, he knew the situation was not good, and he knew that he didn't want to know that.  
"James told me, that you have an old saying here on earth: May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you are dead, Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways, and we are both up there - meet me at the bar, I'm buying.  
"We are a team Garrus, there is no Shepard without Vakarian, so you better remember to duck." her voice shook a little and he knew she had thought of a galaxy without him and felt the same way.  
"Sorry turians don't know how, but I will improvise... " He drew a breathe before he added "And Shepard, forgive the insubordination but your boyfriend has an order for you: come back alive. It would be an awfully empty galaxy without you."  
She leaned forward into his embrace and kissed him. He never tired of those kisses.  
"Goodbye Garrus, and if I'm in that bar and you aren't: know that i will be looking down on you, you will never be alone." her voice broke a little and so did Garrus heart, this war, the Reapers, had a lot to answer for. As she turned and walked through the door, he repeated her words to himself. He needed to remember them.

Things went fast. They got together for the final meeting and as Garrus looked at the group of people Shepard called 'her' team, he realized she had pulled together a multi-racial, multi-skilled force - and her belief in them, in what they were doing were the reason they were standing there.  Not a one was reluctant or forced to be there. They stood proud of themselves, proud to be Shepard's people, Garrus stood straighter too. She assigned tasks, and gave her usual speech on being proud to know them, and proud to have served with them. 

"Ok, lets see, Garrus and James, let's go give those Reaper's hell." Shepard looked at them both and James saluted, Garrus nodded. Game on.  
The game involved guarding missile trucks as they squeezed down rubble laden streets. They took some of the heat from one or more of the teams by going upstairs into buildings. Garrus saw evidence that this had been someone's home, someone's life before this. There were toys, books and he did his best to hold his attention on the task at hand.  Life would be here again, because of them, because they refused to back down.

  
The beam, a portal to the citadel station which was now precariously placed in orbit above them, was the goal. They took out a Reaper only for another, far more familiar Reaper to be blocking their path.  
"All we have to do, is get to the beam." Anderson said calmly "God help us."  
They ran across the open ground behind the vehicles. The Reaper known as Harbringer stood guard now, and their chances were shrinking by the minute.  The Reaper's laser hit a vehicle.  
Garrus was aware of the vehicle flying his direction, he tried to dodge out of the way but it skidded close to him, and he got hit by debris, as well as a smack on the leg for good measure. Copious amounts of medi-gel wouldn't see him back in the fight. At the same time, he did not want to leave Shepard.

Shepard came for him, like she always did. He had never doubted that she really did rescue him more than he saved her. She half carried, half dragged him to cover next to James. Then, she called the Normandy in to pick them up. Garrus had half an idea, through the pain, that she intended to continue on without him.  
"Shepard..." he tried but even to him his voice seemed unsteady. It was hardly going to convince anyone that he was not in pain.  
The Normandy came and Garrus knew that moment would haunt him forever if she didn't make it back.

Take him." Shepard said to James, who had come off better but was still limping a little.  
"Shepard..."  Now his voice sounded stronger.  
"I have to go..."  
"Like hell .... we are in this together..." Garrus was pained when she reached up and touched his face.  
"I'm sorry Garrus. Whatever happens out there, know that I will always love you." She kissed him gently and moved back.  
"Shepard," She was moving away but his hand was still in his "I love you... too."  
"Go, get out of here." She yelled as the Reaper finally took notice of the Normandy and she ran off into the distance.

"Garrus this would be easier if you stayed still." Dr Chakwas was trying to help his leg, which had a lot of dirt and metal, and armor shredded into it. He was having a hard time sitting still, and he knew it was because Shepard was out there alone.  Finally exasperated Dr Chakwas called James in.  
"Do you have a radio or any updates? SOMETHING has to stop this turian moving!"she gestured wildly, and at that point Garrus knew she was worried too.  
James nodded, his injuries had been superficial and easily treated. He pulled his radio out of his pocket, his had not gotten damaged like Garrus' had.  
"... sir they are all dead..."  
Garrus, Dr Chakwas and James stared in horror.  
".. the whole team.. no-one made it?"  
"Wait... we are getting something now.. two made it... Shepard and Anderson made it to the beam."  
Collectively they exhaled.  
"Now Garrus, let me help you. Then you will be more help to everyone else."  Garrus nodded.

 The Normandy was back in the battle around the Citadel. The casualty list was high but the combined might of all the races in the galaxy were pushing hard on the Reapers. Shepard had somehow gotten the gates open for the Crucible just as the sun lit the horizon from around the planet. It was a new day, and hope was the mood.  
Still with James' radio Garrus stood in the battery, he wasn't needed at this point, so he sat down on the side and waited, it was all he could do.  
"Shepard, you need to fire something from your side..." He heard Admiral Hackett say "Commander Shepard..."  
"I... I can't see... what?" She sounded so weak. and it hurt Garrus knowing that. He also knew what he had to do next was not going to make him feel better. He limped up to the pilot's deck.  
"It's firing.. by stars she did it." Hackett said over the radio, dropping formality for the first time. "All retreat."  
"Joker." Garrus limped over to him.  
"No."  
"We have to go Joker." Garrus had tears in his eyes as he said it, "We can't help her."  
Joker looked at Garrus and nodded, he knew. 

 The Normandy crashed onto a planet no-one had settled, making a heavy impact in the trees. They were alive, the sun was just rising and the Reapers were dead. They knew Anderson was gone, they held a ceremony for him, and for Edi - the pulse of the weapon had knocked every synthetic out of order and while it wasn't a large impossibility that they might be bought back, it was for now, a moment of sorrow they all knew that Edi even if rebuilt would not be the same.

When Kaidan handed Garrus the plaque for Shepard, he ran his hand over it.  
"Mind if I hold this for a while. I... need.. time. I guess." Of course no-one had the heart to just tell him to get over it, and it might have been a good thing for Garrus if they did. Humans though, feel, and he had come to value that too.

She was gone, it was the end of it, but he couldn't, wouldn't let go - she had come back from the dead to save him once before the chances were good she would do it again right?

 

 

 

 

 


	23. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the darkest night dawn comes, hope? healing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I don't like a dead Shepard ending. Sorry. If you did, well stop reading :p I have thought long and hard, and that outcome was not easily fitting within my need for a happy end, or at least an ongoing galaxy end.

 Garrus sat hard against the wall staring blankly at the terminal in front of him . She had not responded to calls, officially a missing in action. He tried to breathe but found that his breath was ragged. He pulled up her picture. He had to try to... keep going. He had to find a way to exist in a galaxy without her. The relays had broken when the beam went through, and it was a long trip home, half way without any communications.

James tried to talk to him, then exasperated with that, he had sent Kaidan. Kaidan had just sat with him, which he appreciated more than words. They had both lost someone they loved and admired a lot. Kaidan nodded to him and left him in peace at the end of an hour. Liara had come by and said something but Garrus had not been hearing it. How he managed to sleep, or eat in that time he didn't know, he suspected Tali had bought him food. 

Finally, he looked up and his message light was flashing. His father, to tell him that his sister and he were safe and on earth. Before he opened the next message - one from Wrex labelled  'IMPORTANT YOU BETTER OPEN THIS"  (with the capitals and everything).

Traynor was at his door.  
"Garrus, we got the communications working." Traynor stood very straight, as if addressing her superior officer, it would have amused Garrus had it not been so raw. "Admiral Hackett wants to speak to you in the QEC"  
"Me?"  
She nodded and left. Garrus made his way to the communications area, standing stiffly.  
"Mr Vakarian?" The Admiral was standing somewhere on a ship. "I was asked to get in touch with you, but the Normandy being out of communication has been an issue. We need you back."  
"Back where Sir?"  
"Earth. They need you to do paper work." The Admiral was handed a note and he nodded to someone off camera "I forgot, out of communications means no messages."  
"None sir, I just got to my personal ones." Garrus felt odd, why would he need to do paper work?  
"Ok then, let me tell you the news,  Commander Shepard is alive." Garrus very nearly fell over, not a normal reaction to news but he had been so lost thinking she might not be. "She also listed you as her next of kin."  
"Kin?" Garrus asked  
"Oh ... ah closest relative? someone she trusts to make choices and decisions for her if she is unable to." Admiral Hackett continued "She is stable, but in intensive care, sustained a lot of blood loss and a severely broken leg. Her armour absorbed most of the crush but her hands and feet have some burns. The doctors say a complete recovery is possible, but it will take time."  
"Has she... been awake at all?" Garrus knew she would be afraid of two things, waking up in a Cerberus lab and not waking up.  
"She was just barely conscious when they found her. You will have to talk to your friend Wrex... he has that story." Wrex... that explained the message.  
"You might want to tell the rest of the crew, I know you were all family. Also Mr Vakarian, you might need to bring a human with you to translate things and slap the nurses - they have never left earth. I hear Wrex left Grunt as a body guard and he's having a bit of fun with it all."  
"Figures." Garrus replied, the weight gone, his heart on the mend. Of course he now needed to see her.  
"Oh I was also told to tell you, your father and sister are helping with her care,"Admiral Hackett seemed amused "the staff at the tiny rural hospital where we had to take her, are a little in awe of all the aliens, be patient with them, and do take Kaidan Alenko or James Vega with you - it will help."  
"Thank you sir."  
"Thank You Mr Vakarian, you gave her something to live for outside of just this war. It might well be what kept her alive." Hackett hastily pushed his hand across his eyes. Garrus thought it was without a doubt now  _Everyone who ever knew or has the privilege of knowing Shepard, is changed by her._ "Hackett Out."

 Garrus knew who to tell, and in telling Joker the whole ship would know, ignoring the fact that anyone who saw Garrus practically skipping to the pilots deck would have figured it out, it was still Joker he told first.  
"Joker, I have news."  
"They want the ship back?"   
"Well yeah... but.. better. Shepard is alive. Shes still not great but alive is ... well better than dead.. and I.."  
"I get it." Joker laughed at his friend. "I'm glad we aren't mourning her again, once was enough eh?"  
"More than." Garrus agreed. He had not forgotten Joker's loss was still there, "I'm still sorry about Edi."  
"She knew it was coming. She warned me." Joker said staring at the controls in front of him. "She tried to set me up with Traynor, something about them being similar minded."  
"heh that is... oddly.. sweet." Garrus gently patted Joker on the back and Joker nodded.  
"Might take a while., but i see her point. Meanwhile, does anyone else know Shepard is alive?"  
"Told you first." Garrus sighed, "I have to apologize to a lot of people."  
"I doubt anyone who knew about you and Shep would expect an apology." Joker managed to say before he hit the speaker."Attention crew this is your pilot speaking, I have news from Earth:  Commander Shepard is alive."   
They could hear the cheering without even opening the door.

 Estimated time to Earth was still a week, on a good day. Garrus still had mail to read and a gun to recalibrate. Though the calibrating of the gun was falling further down on his to do list.   
The mail from Wrex filled in some blanks.

_Need to tell you Shepard is alive, but not because those idiots in Alliance brass did anything from this end, Grunt and I stole a shuttle, and took Dr Michelle with us - she actually suggested the idea,  to the Citadel. It was a mess, be glad you didn't see it. Hope your family got off it before they took it apart. Regardless. Grunt found Shepard pinned beneath some of the debris. We got her out of there, aint nothing a krogan cant lift eh put two krogan in on the situation, and we were good. Dr Michelle started a transfusion, she was all ready for the blood thing - gross you know, human blood is red? I thought it might be blue like turian or pink like asari... oh side tracked. Anyhow we got her out of there. Her legs a mess, but her armor did a good job - hell if she came back before she better come back this time.  She said hello knew who I was and where we were, wanted to know if it worked, was a bit out of it, kept asking where her Garrus was... you better marry that woman Garrus, you know shes family.. you know you want me for a brother in law right?  
_ _Anyhow Dr Michelle said it was better for the pain, and the injuries are pretty bad I can't lie - for Shepard to be sedated. I told them at the hospital that if she wakes up and just sees no-one she will think it is Cerberus and freak - I left Grunt there anyhow, already had someone try and get in when they were not supposed to. Dont know if shes in danger or if she has fans, figure we haven't got rid of all of the enemies yet so better to be safe. Besides, I couldn't tell Grunt to leave - you know he sees Shepard as his hero? Almost a mother I suppose. Anyhow send him home once you are all there, he's needed back here too.  
_ _Hope you are up for an adventure Garrus, theres gotta be a galaxy wide tour coming her way - oh why ask, I know you are up for it. As long as shes there. Maybe I can come along for a bit... be nice to get some exercise away from here.  
_ _Take care of her. I did the hard work and rescued her for you... oh Grunt said to tell you "I dug her out, we are even for the rachni part" I dunno what he meant tho, that boy, i tell you.  Let me know how things go, and when you are back._

_Wrex._

The moment when he went to the hospital - with James Vega, Kaidan Alenko and Steve Cortez, acting as his interpreting team, or at least thats what they said at any rate, Steve took the shuttle and drove them to the hospital. It was the calmest shuttle ride Garrus had been on for a while. If he didn't see combat for the rest of this year, or the next or for the foreseeable future he would be content.  
"Mr Vakarian?"  one of the staff at the desk said to Kaidan, Garrus coughed.  
"That would be me."he gestured to his friends "they came to help me understand things."  
"I see. One of you would be Kaidan Alenko?" she asked looking down at her notes "James Vega and I'm sorry.. I think you might be someone the Admiral didn't expect."  
"Steve Cortez," Steve grinned "It's fine, I'm the driver - and I am happy to wait while these gentle men see to paperwork"  
The nurse nodded, Garrus guessed she had been trying to figure out how to fit three large men into her office with the peculiar turian.

"There is another turian gentleman here, his daughter has a broken leg. They know Shepard I am told, by her guard." her tone went flat when she said guard. Grunt, larger than life, stood with his arms crossed glaring at anyone who dared come within meters of the door to the room Shepard was in.  Garrus almost laughed at the krogan, who stood close to the ceiling, watching carefully for identification on any doctor or nurse passing into the room. 

"That would be my father and sister." Garrus explained "They know Shepard through me."  
The nurse nodded.   
"Paperwork is really just a signature  her care is paid for by ... well.. actually, by the asari, turian, krogan, salarian and human government - whats left of them to make that decision."  
"I'm glad to hear that." James replied "She did just save the galaxy and nearly died for it."  
The nurse sighed and gestured for them to follow her.  
"What I really need to do is tell you what she is going through. She is going to need care for some time, and being unconscious right now is good but not a state we want her to stay in."  
"Medically induced?" Kaidan asked the nurse nodded.  
"Actually Mr Alenko, your name was on the next of kin part as well, it was only changed a year or so ago." she gestured to the screen "while our little hospital has some access to the files, we do need permission from her next of kin to access the rest of her medical data - some of which was stored on your ship."  
"Changed a year ago?" Garrus frowned trying to remember a year before. It had been the Collectors and the Omega 4 relay. "Never mind, i think I know."  
"She changed it just before you went through that relay." Kaidan said quietly, "about the time...."  
"Yeah she must have been sure of me then."Garrus nodded feeling a bit awkward, she had changed it after Horizon.  
"We need those files..." the nurse said, her eyebrow raised in insistence.

"You might have a problem."Garrus remembered the files in question were Cerberus encrypted files.  
"Oh?"  
"They were encrypted by Cerberus, her medical files." he explained "I guess there were secrets."  
"A lot of that tech failed but her body had recovered a lot more than they thought it would." the nurse replied. An assistant came knocking on the door.   
"Matron a Ms Lawson is outside." 

"Well this gets fun." Garrus nodded to James "She is ex-Cerberus, can kill you as quick as look at you so... ah... mind your tongue."  
"You wish to allow her in here?" the nurse seemed stunned. None of this was procedure, not that they had anything for dealing with aliens. The fact that this little hospital had survived was a miracle enough.  
"It was Ms Lawson that worked on repairing Shepard." Garrus stated "Without her... "   
"That is a stroke of luck." she turned back to the assistant "Bring her in."  
"Hi Garrus, thought I'd find you here. Major Alenko, and..." she looked James up and down.  
"Lieutenant Vega, who seems unusually quiet." Garrus pointed to him, James was desperately trying to find words. Garrus felt for him, he had been there before.  
"I can help you with Cerberus related things - the files from the Normandy are an encryption I changed when we left their... support.."

"You changed it?" Garrus was surprised, of all their crew Miranda had been the most pro-Cerberus.  
"I saw what you all did - without her we would lose." Miranda shrugged "So I did whatever I could."  
"Any help you can give." The matron nodded "Now sign this, and we can go see how our patient is."   
Garrus was more than ready to see Shepard.   
"Let's just have Garrus see her" Kaidan suggested "The rest of us can wait."  
"Thanks."Garrus nodded to Kaidan. 

Grunt nodded and moved aside as they came around the corner.

The room was clean, quiet and pink. .As long as it  wasn't a pristine white room and it was not a lab - two things he knew would make her panic. She was lying in the bed, her eyes closed, her arm with an IV in it, and monitors strapped to her chest and wrist. The heart beat on the monitor screen was steady, though as soon as Garrus touched her hand it went up a little only to settle again.  
She knows it is you." the Matron said quietly. "I will leave you in peace. Your sister is just next door, I will let her and your father know you are here."

  
"Shepard, I was going crazy trying to imagine life without you." Garrus whispered when everyone left "i am so glad I don't have to figure it out."  
He watched her breathing, and he finally felt able to do so himself. His beloved, His Shepard was right there.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grunt: Basically, on the Rachni planet when Shepard goes to help Grunt and investigate the nest, a cave-in happens. Shepard says they are fine, and Grunt says "Good I didn't want to have to dig you out" it always struck me, that he would have if he needed to. Fast forward to the mess on the citadel, I figure send Wrex and Grunt - no debris stands between them and Shepard. Grunt does the digging because he owed her one.


	24. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a happily ever after, maybe even a few?  
> Just a short end.

  ** _Three Years.._**

 "You sure about this Shepard?" Garrus was painting a room in their new house. "It's Alliance blue?"

"Yes! That's the color she wanted. I promise, she picked it herself." Shepard laughed as she attempted to paint another wall. Their daughter, Meggie now  turning ten had asked for her new room to be painted "the same color as the Normandy" which she had been on with her parents several times now. In fact, this house was their first attempt at putting down more permanent roots. Not that they had given up saving the galaxy - Shepard was still an N7 and sometimes was asked to help  train new recruits to the N7 program.

"Did you tell her about.... well.." Garrus laughed as Shepard turned to look at him with paint on her nose."about Darian."

They were about to finish up adopting a young turian boy who had been orphaned as well. Their home was going to be happy they were both determined. Garrus didn't mind living on Earth, near the base where the Normandy launched from on her tours. Joker still piloted the ship and the crew were almost all there. Traynor had somehow become permanently assigned to it , and she loved it. They still got together for parties, Kaidan with his new girlfriend, James with out a girlfriend, Cortez with his new boyfriend, and their little extended family continued life.

 Shepard still had a slight limp but the three years had been kind - she had recovered almost completely. She still found it hard to talk about what happened up there, and most of the time they just accepted that it was just what had to be done. The galaxy had dwindled in population considerably thanks to the Reapers, but people were starting to rebuild their lives. Rebuilding gave hope, and a new generation of children, who didn't know any kind of war was being born.

Meggie remembered it, and Darian wouldn't but he would know of his parents. The turians always kept a list of genealogies, to honor the fallen and in this case the boy's family had been heroes who stood their ground when the Reapers hit Palaven. He was sent with his aunt to the Citadel, the aunt had not made it off in time which left an infant without family. They waited the required time, while family was looked for, before finalizing the adoption process. Darian had lived with them for six months now, but Meggie had begged her parents to adopt him "like you dopted me!" Garrus was proud of the fact that they had a little girl who saw the world like Shepard did - all life is important no matter what race.

 "You going to reply to that offer?"  
"The council? me? after all the times I bumped my head against them? Id rather they picked Kaidan or ... Miranda?"  
"Did you suggest Miranda?" Garrus laughed "Oh spirits she might just be perfect."  
"Yeah at least it should use up her pro-humanness and give her something to stress over." Shepard grinned "Besides I like being a spectre; engaged to an ex-C-sec, former vigilante, turian advisor."  
"Don't forget, the 'who killed reapers on the side'"Garrus said. He had proposed while she was still in the hospital  Actually the very second she could say yes, without choking on the words.  
"Yeah that too!" She reached him as he climbed down the ladder for more paint and smudged a bit on his nose. "There now we match.:"  
"We matched already, Jo Shepard." He grabbed her, their hands - and clothes - were covered in paint "I am not sure we are good at this painting lark.. maybe we should hire someone."  
"Sure. We saved the galaxy, surely we can paint.. or hire someone." she giggled as she stepped into the paint tray.  
"It never bothers me how covered in paint you are, Jo, you are always a welcome sight." He grinned "But seriously, lets hire someone."

Garrus knew life went on, it only paused when Shepard was missing for a heartbeat - then started when she was found. He had no idea how to cope without her anymore and he didn't want to find out. They wouldn't need a job for a while, still he looked forward to the future, and having one with her was all that mattered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou all for reading my story, hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
